Men den alminnelige forlegenhet utløste en så heftig damping på pipene, at nye strømmer av gulhvit røk begynte å bevege seg i den tykke luft, danne knokkellinjer og mektige figurer, spre seg til hengende slør, som skiftet i mangeslags farver under petroleumslampens stråler.
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But the general embarrassment triggered such a violent puff of smoke from the chimneys that new yellowish-white streams drifted through the thick air, forming skeletal lines and mighty figures, spreading into hanging veils that shifted colors under the kerosene lamp.
Translated by markvanroode 258 1 month ago
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The embarrassment caused such a violent puff of smoke from the chimneys that yellowish-white streams drifted through the thick air, forming skeletal lines and mighty figures, spreading into veils that shifted colors under the kerosene lamp.
Translated by markvanroode 258 1 month ago

Discussion

David, I agree with all your comments.

by markvanroode 1 month ago

Also, the adjective "hengende" shouldn't be left out as it helps convey the image of hanging veils.

by DavidKenstad 1 month ago

Also, the verb, "utløste" to me says "triggered" or "unleashed" rather than merely "caused".

by DavidKenstad 1 month ago

Why not include the adjective, "alminnelige"? - "The overall embarrassment". Also why not "nye" in "new streams of yellowish white smoke"?

by DavidKenstad 1 month ago