Men det var ét menneske som hadde fulgt hennes besynderlige vandring gjennom krostuen med en viss oppmerksomhet, det var Kaisa, det var dog ikke en oppmerksomhet av interesse, men mere av ergrelse, den gamle heks ga nå og da fra seg et grynt av forakt, hun beveget sitt hode med de dinglende øresmykker i takt med Signes vandring som for å markere, hvor motbydelig hennes hele fremtoning var, og da Signe forsvant inn i trappegangen, utstøtte den gamle en hard og forbitret latter.
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But there was one person who had followed her strange walk through the tavern attentively. It was Kaisa. Her attention was not out of interest but out of annoyance. Now and then, the old witch grunted with contempt. She moved her head, earrings swinging, in time with Signe's steps, as if to emphasize how disgusting her whole appearance was. When Signe disappeared up the stairs, the old woman let out a harsh, bitter laugh.
Translated by
markvanroode 258
1 month ago
0
One person watched her odd walk through the tavern with a certain attention. It was Kaisa. Her attention was not out of interest, but annoyance. Now and then, the old witch grunted with contempt. She moved her head, earrings swinging, in time with Signe's steps, as if to show just how much she disliked her. When Signe disappeared up the stairs, the old woman let out a harsh, bitter laugh.
Translated by
markvanroode 258
1 month ago
Discussion
Agree with your comments. Replacing the commas with periods makes the translation more natural and modern.
by markvanroode 1 month agoI had translated this in my own copy a while ago but neglected to add it to Translatihan. I apologize and offer no excuse for that other than my usual rushing about with distractions here. May I offer a suggestion or 2? "Men det var ét menneske som hadde fulgt hennes besynderlige vandring..." Why not begin the sentence with "But there was one person who had followed her strange walk..."? (Some believe it's poor English style to begin a sentence with "But". Not I.) An "odd walk" to me implies something almost comical whereas a "strange walk" seems more ominous and in keeping with the mood.
by DavidKenstad 1 month ago"...som for å markere, hvor motbydelig hennes hele fremtoning var..." I would make it, "...as if to emphasize how disgusting her whole appearance was..." However, in general I do agree with changing many of Elvestad's commas to periods as I have been for no good reason reluctant to do until now.