Das Haus lag wie unbewohnt da, ganz still, ohne Schritte, ohne Stimmen – eine Stummheit, die vom Keller bis zum Boden ging, etwas Leeres, Lauschendes, das aus allen Winkeln drang und durch die hohe einsame Kerze, die kapellenstill brannte, noch vertieft wurde.
1
The house stood there as if uninhabited; utterly still, devoid of footsteps or voices—a silence extending from cellar to attic, an emptiness that seemed to listen, emanating from every corner and further intensified by the tall, solitary candle that burnt with the stillness of a chapel.
Translated by
markvanroode 8632
1 week ago
0
The house lay there as if uninhabited—utterly still, devoid of footsteps or voices—a silence extending from cellar to attic, an emptiness that seemed to listen, emanating from every corner and deepened by the tall, solitary candle burning with the hush of a chapel.
Translated by
markvanroode 8632
2 weeks, 6 days ago
Discussion
Thanks, Wendy.
by markvanroode 1 week agoVorschlag Mark:
The house stood/ or/ sat there as if uninhabited; utterly still, devoid of . . . and further intensified by the tall, solitary candle that burnt with the stillness of a chapel.
I suggest 'stood' or 'sat' for a house, rather than 'lay'. Typically a house 'stands' or 'squats' or 'sits' - upright, whereas 'lay' immediately conjures the visual image of something 'lying on its back or side, which doesn't quite fit with the image of a house
I suggest 'stillness' because that indicates lack of movement as well as sound and describes an unwavering flame, whereas 'hush' refers more to the lack of sound.
by Merlin57 1 week ago