Leave it to Jeeves
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Remettez-vous en à Jeeves (1916).

de P. G. Wodehouse (1881-1975).

Jeeves... mon valet de chambre, vous savez... est vraiment un type extraordinaire. Tellement capable. Honnêtement, je ne saurais pas quoi faire sans lui. Dans les grandes lignes, il est comme ces types qui sont assis dans le bureau appelé "Renseignements" et qui regardent tristement par-delà les créneaux en marbre de la gare de Pennsylvanie. Vous connaissez les mecs dont je parle. Vous allez vers eux et dites : « Quand est le prochain train pour Melonsquashville, Tennessee ? » et ils répondent, sans s'arrêter pour réfléchir : « À deux heures quarante-trois, voie dix, changement à San Francisco ». Et ils ont raison à chaque fois. Eh bien, Jeeves vous donne juste la même impression d'omniscience.

Comme exemple de ce que je veux dire, je me souviens d'avoir rencontré Monty Byng dans Bond Street un matin, l'air à la pointe de la mode dans son costume à carreaux gris, et je sentis que je ne pourrai jamais être heureux tant que je n'en aurais pas un comme ça. Je lui ai soutiré l'adresse de son tailleur et lui ai demandé de se mettre au travail dans l'heure.

— Jeeves, lui dis-je ce soir-là. Je vais avoir un costume à carreaux comme celui de M. Byng.

— C'est peu judicieux, Monsieur, dit-il avec fermeté. Il ne vous ira pas.

— C'est complètement idiot ! C'est la chose la plus sensée que j'ai faite depuis des années.

— Il ne vous ira pas, Monsieur.

Eh bien, en fin de compte, ce fichu costume arriva à la maison, je l'enfilai et quand je me vis dans la glace, je faillis m'évanouir. Jeeves avait totalement raison. Je ressemblais à un mélange entre un comique de music-hall et un bookmaker minable. Pourtant Monty avait l'air superbe avec exactement le même truc. Ces choses font partie des mystères de la vie et c'est tout.

Mais ce n'est pas seulement que le jugement de Jeeves à propos des vêtements est infaillible, bien sûr, c'est vraiment la chose principale. Cet homme sait tout. Il était question de ce tuyau pour le « Lincolnshire ». J'ai oublié maintenant comment je l'avais eu, mais cela semblait être de la dynamite.

— Jeeves, lui dis-je car j'apprécie beaucoup l'homme et aime lui rendre service quand je le peux... si vous voulez vous faire un peu d’argent, misez sur Wonderchild dans le « Lincolnshire ».

Il secoua la tête.

--Je ne préfère pas, monsieur.

— Mais ce sont des informations sérieuses. Je vais jouer ma chemise sur lui.

--Je ne le recommande pas, monsieur. L'animal n'est pas destiné à gagner. L'écurie vise la seconde place.

De pures balivernes, pensai-je, bien sûr. Comment diable, Jeeves pourrait-il savoir quelque chose à ce sujet? Pourtant, vous savez ce qui s'est passé. Wonderchild menait presque jusqu'à la ligne d'arrivée, et puis Banana Fritter a déboulé et l'a devancé d'un cheveu. Je rentrai directement à la maison et fis venir Jeeves.

— Après ceci, dis-je, je ne m'aventurerai plus sans votre avis. À partir de maintenant, considérez-vous comme le cerveau de cette maison.

— Très bien, Monsieur. Je vais m'efforcer de vous donner satisfaction.

Et il l'a fait, pardieu ! Je suis loin d'être un génie, le bulbe semble avoir été conçu plus pour l'ornement que pour l'usage, vous voyez ce que je veux dire ? Mais donnez-moi cinq minutes pour discuter avec Jeeves et je suis prêt à conseiller n'importe qui à propos de n'importe quoi. Et c'est pourquoi, quand Bruce Corcoran est venu me voir avec ses ennuis, mon premier geste a été de faire tinter la sonnette et de le mettre en contact avec le gars au front bombé.

— Laissez-le à Jeeves, dis-je.

J'ai fait la connaissance de Corky en premier quand je suis arrivé à New york. C'était un copain de mon cousin Gussie qui connaissait beaucoup de gens autour de Washington Square. Je ne sais pas si je vous l'ai déjà raconté, mais la raison pour laquelle j'ai quitté l'Angleterre était que ma tante Agatha m'avait envoyé pour essayer d'empêcher le jeune Gussie de se marier avec une comédienne du vaudeville, mais j'ai tout embrouillé que j'ai décidé que ce serait un bon plan pour moi de m'arrêter un peu en Amérique au lieu de rentrer et d'avoir avec ma tante de longues et agréables conversations sur cette histoire. J'ai donc envoyé Jeeves pour trouver un appartement convenable, et je me suis installé pour un peu d'exil. Je suis obligé de dire que New York est un lieu épatant pour être exilé. Tout le monde était vraiment bon pour moi, il semblait que beaucoup de choses s'y passaient, et je suis un oiseau riche, alors tout allait bien. Des types m'ont présenté à d'autres types, et ainsi de suite, et il ne fallut pas longtemps avant que je ne connaisse des escadrons de la meilleure espèce, certains qui roulaient sur l'or dans des maisons en haut de Park avenue et d'autres qui vivaient à l'économie, principalement autour de Washington Square... des artistes et des écrivains entre autres. Des types intelligents.

Corky était un de ces artistes. Un portraitiste comme il s'appelait, mais il n'avait jamais peint aucun portrait. Il était assis sur le côté avec une couverture sur les épaules, attendant l'occasion d'entrer dans le jeu. Vous voyez, le cercle vicieux dans la peinture de portrait... j'ai examiné la chose un peu... c'est que vous ne pouvez pas commencer à peindre des portraits tant que les gens ne viennent pas pour vous le demander, et ils ne viendront pas vous le demander tant que vous n'aurez pas d'abord beaucoup peint. Cela rend la chose un peu difficile pour le gars. Corky se débrouillait en réalisant à l’occasion un dessin pour des journaux humoristiques, il avait un peu de talent pour les choses amusantes quand il avait une bonne idée, et en dessinant des encadrements de lits, des chaises et des objets pour les publicités. Cependant, sa principale source de revenus provenait de ce qu'il arrivait à soutirer à un oncle riche, un certain Alexander Worple, qui était dans le commerce du jute. Je suis un peu dans le flou quant à savoir ce qu'est le jute, mais il semble que la population soit très enthousiaste, car M. Worple en avait fait une grande pile indécente.

Or beaucoup de bonshommes pensent que le fait d'avoir un oncle riche est un jeu d'enfant plutôt agréable, mais, selon Corky, tel n'est pas le cas. L'oncle de Corky était un robuste gaillard qui semblait éternel. Il avait cinquante et un ans, et il semblait qu'il continuerait jusqu'à la durée moyenne. Ce n'était pas cela, cependant qui angoissait le pauvre vieux Corky, car il n'était pas intolérant et n'avait aucune objection à ce que l'homme continue à vivre. Ce contre quoi Corky se rebiffait était la manière dont Worple le harcelait.

L'oncle de Corky, voyez-vous, ne voulait pas qu'il soit artiste Il ne pensait pas qu'il avait du talent dans ce domaine. Il l'exhortait toujours à rejeter l'Art et à aller dans l'entreprise du jute, à commencer en bas et à travailler pour progresser vers le haut. Le jute était apparemment devenu une sorte d'obsession chez lui. Il semblait lui attacher une importance presque spirituelle. Et Corky disait que bien qu'il ne savait pas ce qu'ils faisaient au fond dans l'affaire du jute, l'instinct lui disait qu'il s'agissait d'une horreur indescriptible. Corky, d'ailleurs, croyait en son avenir en tant qu'artiste. Un jour, dit-il, il allait faire un carton. Entre-temps, en utilisant le plus grand tact et la persuasion, il induisait son oncle à tousser à contrecœur une petite allocation trimestrielle.

Il n'aurait pas eu cela si son oncle n'avait pas eu un passe-temps. M. Worple était spécial à cet égard. En règle générale, d'après ce que j'ai observé, le capitaine américain de l'industrie ne fait rien hors des heures de travail. Quand il a mis le chat dehors et a enfermé le bureau pour la nuit, il se retourne dans un état de coma dont il émerge seulement pour recommencer à être un capitaine de l'industrie. Mais M. Worple dans son temps libre était ce qu'on appelle un ornithologue. Il avait écrit un livre intitulé American Birds (Les oiseaux américains), et était en train d'en écrire un autre, qui allait s'appeler More American Birds (Davantage d'oiseaux américains). Quand il l'avait terminé, la présomption était qu'il commencerait un troisième et continuerait jusqu'à ce que l'approvisionnement des oiseaux américains fût épuisé. Corky allait chez lui tous les trois mois et le laissait parler des oiseaux d'Amérique. Apparemment, vous pouviez faire ce que vous vouliez avec le vieux Worple si vous le branchiez sur le sujet de son animal de compagnie, alors ces petits bavardages permettaient à Corky d'être tranquille pour un moment. Mais c'était plutôt la guigne pour le pauvre gars. Il y avait ce suspense affreux, vous voyez, et, en dehors de cela, les oiseaux, sauf lorsqu'ils étaient grillés et en compagnie d'une bouteille fraîche, l'ennuyaient à mourir.

Pour compléter le tableau sur le caractère de M. Worple, c'était un homme d'humeur extrêmement incertaine, et son inclination générale était de penser que Corky était un pauvre imbécile et que, quelle que soit la route qu'il prenait dans n'importe quelle direction, c'était juste une autre preuve de son idiotie innée. J'imaginais que Jeeves avait exactement le même sentiment à mon égard.

Et donc, quand Corky se faufila dans mon appartement un après-midi, poussant une jeune fille devant lui, et dit : "Bertie, je te présente ma fiancée, mademoiselle Singer", l'aspect de la question qui me frappa en premier était précisément celui pour lequel il était venu me consulter. Les tout premiers mots que je prononçai furent : — Corky, et ton oncle ?

Le pauvre gars émit un de ces rires sans joie. Il avait l'air anxieux et inquiet, comme un homme qui a parfaitement exécuté son crime, mais qui se demande ce qu'il va bien pouvoir faire du corps.

"Nous avons tellement peur, monsieur Wooster", déclara la jeune fille. Nous espérions que vous pourriez suggérer un moyen de le lui annoncer.

Muriel Singer était une de ces filles très silencieuses et attrayantes qui ont une manière de vous regarder avec leurs grands yeux comme si elles pensaient que vous étiez la chose la plus importante sur terre et que vous vous ne l'aviez pas encore compris. Elle s'est assise dans une pose recroquevillée, me regardant comme si elle se disait : « Oh, j'espère que ce grand homme fort ne va pas me faire mal ». Elle donnait à l'homme une sorte de sentiment protecteur, lui donnant envie de lui tapoter la main et de lui dire: « Là, là, mon chou !» ou des mots dans ce sens. Elle me donnait l'impression que je pourrais faire n'importe quoi pour elle. Elle était plutôt comme une de ces innocentes boissons américaines qui s'infiltre imperceptiblement dans votre organisme de telle sorte que, avant de savoir ce que vous faites, vous commencez à réformer le monde par la force si nécessaire et vous vous arrêtez en chemin pour dire au grand gars dans le coin que s'il continue à vous regarder comme ça, vous allez lui casser la figure. Ce que je veux dire, c'est qu'elle m'a fait me sentir alerte et audacieux, comme un vieux chevalier errant ou quelque chose de ce genre. Je sentais que j'étais avec elle dans cette histoire jusqu'au bout.

« Je ne vois pas pourquoi votre oncle ne devrait pas être absolument enchanté », dis-je à Corky. Il va penser que Miss Singer est l'épouse idéale pour toi.

Corky refusa de se réjouir.

— Tu ne le connais pas. Même s'il appréciait Muriel, il refuserait de l'admettre. C'est une vraie tête de cochon. Par principe, il devait le resister. Il considérait seulement que j'avais pris un pas important sans lui consulter, et automatiquement il ferait tout un scandale. Il l'a toujours fait.

Je me creusai la cervelle pour répondre à cette situation critique.

« Il faut que tu t'arranges afin qu'il rencontre Mlle Singer sans savoir que tu la connais.* Et puis tu arrives ....» « Mais comment est-ce que je peux le faire comme cela ? »

Je vis ce qu'il voulait dire. Ceci était le probleme.

« Il y a une seule chose à faire » dis-je.

« Quoi ? »

— Laissez-le à Jeeves.

Et je le sonna.

« Monsieur ? » dit Jeeves, en se manifestant. Une parmi les choses curieuses concernant Jeeves, c'est qu'on ne le voit entrer dans une salle que rarement, sauf qu'on a le regard d'un aigle. Il est comme un de ces types étranges en Inde qui se dissolvent complètement dans le néant, traversent l'espace d'une manière désincarnée et rassemblent les pièces là où ils le souhaitent.** J'ai un cousin qui est ce qu'on appelle un théosophe, il dit qu'il a souvent lui-même presque accompli cette chose, mais qu'il ne pouvait pas tout à fait réussir, probablement parce qu'il avait mangé dans son enfance de la chair d'animaux tués dans la colère et dans des tourtes.

Au moment où je vis l'homme debout là-bas, exprimant une attention respectueuse, un poids disparu de ma poitrine. Je me suis senti comme un enfant perdu qui aperçoit son père au loin. ** Il y avait un je-ne-sais-quoi en lui qui me donna confiance.

Jeeves est un homme assez grand, avec l'un de ces visages sombres et astucieux. L’œil brille avec la lumière de l'intelligence pur.

— Jeeves, nous voudrions vos conseils.

— Très bien, monsieur.

J'ai réduit le cas douloureux de Corky à quelques mots bien choisis.

— Et voilà vous voyez de quoi il s'agit, Jeeves. Nous vous voulons suggérer quelque façon que M. Worple peut faire connaissance avec Mlle. Singer sans révéler le fait que M. Corcoran la connaît déjà. C'est compris ?

— Parfaitement, monsieur.

— Et bien, essayez de penser à quelque chose.

— J'ai déjà pensé à quelque chose, monsieur.

— Vraiment !

— Le plan que je suggère ne peut pas échouer, mais il peut vous sembler avoir un défaut, monsieur, en ce sens qu'il nécessite une certaine dépense financière.

— Il veut dire, je traduisis à Corky, qu'il a une idée géniale, mais ça va coûter un peu.

Naturellement, le visage du pauvre homme se décomposa, car cela semblait tout gâcher. Mais j'étais encore sous l'influence du regard pénétrant de la jeune fille et j'ai vu que c'est là que je devenais un chevalier errant.

— Tu peux compter sur moi pour tout ce genre de chose, Corky, dis-je. — Avec plaisir. Continuez, Jeeves.

— Je suggère, monsieur, que M. Corcoran profite de l'attachement de M. Worple à l'ornithologie.

— Comment savez-vous qu'il aimait les oiseaux?

— C'est la façon dont ces appartements de New York sont construits, monsieur. Tout à fait différent de nos maisons de Londres. Les cloisons entre les chambres sont de la nature la plus fragile. Sans vouloir écouter, j'ai parfois entendu M. Corcoran s'exprimer avec une force généreuse sur le sujet que j'ai mentionné.

— Oh! Alors?

— Pourquoi la jeune femme ne rédigerait-elle pas un petit ouvrage qui s'intitulerait... disons... Le Livre pour enfants sur les oiseaux d'Amérique, et serait dédié à M. Worple ! Une édition limitée pourrait être publiée à vos frais, monsieur, et une grande partie du livre serait consacrée bien sûr à des remarques élogieuses concernant le traité plus complet de M. Worple sur ce même sujet. Je recommande l'envoi d'un exemplaire, dès sa parution, à M. Worple, accompagné d'une lettre dans laquelle la jeune femme demande la permission de rencontrer celui à qui elle est si redevable. Ceci devrait, je pense, produire le résultat escompté, mais comme je l'ai dit, les frais à engager pourraient être considérables.

Je me sentais comme le propriétaire d'un chien savant sur la scène d'un music-hall quand son clébard termine son numéro sans pépin. J'avais misé sur Jeeves depuis le début et je savais qu'il ne me décevrait pas. Parfois, ça me dépassait complètement qu'un homme de son intelligence soit content de passer son temps à repasser mes vêtements et des trucs dans le genre. Si j'avais la moitié du cerveau de Jeeves, j'essayerais devenir Premier ministre, ou quelque chose comme ça.

̶ Jeeves, dis-je, ̶ c'est absolument épatant! Un de vos meilleurs efforts.

̶ Merci Monsieur.

La jeune fille fit une objection.

Mais je suis sûre que je ne pourrais pas écrire un livre sur quoi que soit. Je ne peux même pas écrire de bonnes lettres. " — Les talents de Muriel, déclara Corky, avec un petit toussement, se trouvent plutôt dans le registre du drame, Bertie Je ne l'ai pas mentionné auparavant, mais l'une de nos raisons d'être un peu nerveux quant à la façon dont l'oncle Alexander recevrait la nouvelle est que Muriel est dans le chœur de ce show, Choose your Exit (Choisissez votre sortie) au Manhattan. C'est absurde et déraisonnable, mais nous pensons tous deux que ce fait pourrait accroître la tendance naturelle de l'oncle Alexander à donner des coups de sabots.

Je vis ce qu'il voulait dire. Dieu sait qu'il y a eu beaucoup de remue-ménage dans notre famille quand j'ai voulu épouser une artiste lyrique, il y a quelques années. Et le souvenir de l'attitude de ma tante Agatha en ce qui concerne Gussie et la fille du vaudeville était encore fraîche dans mon esprit. Je ne sais pas pourquoi, l'un de ces as de la psychologie pourrait l'expliquer, je l'imagine, mais les oncles et les tantes, en tant que classe sociale, sont toujours totalement contre le drame, légitime ou autre. Ils ne semblent pas capables de supporter ça à aucun prix. **

Mais Jeeves avait une solution, bien sûr.

— Je pense qu'il serait simple, monsieur, de trouver un auteur impécunieux qui serait heureux de faire l’élaboration effective de ce volume pour une somme modique. Il suffit que le nom de la jeune fille apparaisse sur la page de titre.

̶ C'est vrai, déclara Corky. ̶ Sam Patterson le ferait pour cent dollars. Il écrit chaque mois, sous différents pseudonymes, un petit roman, trois nouvelles et dix mille mots dans un feuilleton, pour un magazine de fiction. Une petite chose comme celle-ci ne serait rien pour lui. Je vais le rattraper tout de suite.

̶̶ Bien!

Thank you, France ! demanda Jeeves. Très bien, Monsieur. Merci, Monsieur.

Je pensais toujours que les éditeurs devaient être des gens diaboliquement intelligents, chargés de la matière grise; mais maintenant j'y ai pigé. Tout ce qu'un éditeur doit faire est d'écrire des chèques à intervalles, alors que beaucoup de types méritantes et laborieuses se rallient et font le vrai travail. Je sais, parce que j'en ai été un moi-même. Je me suis simplement assis dans mon appartement avec un stylo à encre et, en cours de temps, un livre brillant apparut.

Je me trouvais chez Corky lorsque les premières copies de « The Children's Book of American Birds » (Le livre des enfants des oiseaux américains) arrivèrent. Muriel Singer était là, et nous discutions de choses et d'autres lorsqu'un grand bruit se fit entendre lors de la livraison du paquet.

C'était sans doute un livre remarquable. Il avait une couverture rouge avec une sorte de poule dessus, et dessous figurait le nom de la fille en lettres d'or. J'ouvris une copie au hasard.

Il était écrit en haut de la page vingt et une : « Souvent au cours d'une matinée de printemps, alors que tu te promènes dans les champs, tu entends le doux gazouillis de l’insouciant roselin ».** Lorsque tu seras plus âgé, tu devras tout lire à son sujet dans le magnifique livre de M. Alexander Worple - American Birds (Les oiseaux d'Amérique).

Vous voyez. Un coup de pouce pour l'oncle tout de suite. Et juste quelques pages plus tard, il était à nouveau en vedette dans le cadre du coucou à bec jaune. ** C'était du bon boulot. ** Plus je lis, plus j'admirai le gars qui l'avait écrit et le génie de Jeeves pour nous mettre sur le truc. Je ne voyais pas comment l'oncle pourrait ne pas succomber Vous ne pouvez pas traiter de type la plus grande autorité du monde en matière de coucou à bec jaune sans éveiller en lui un certain sentiment d'amitié.

C'est couru ! dis-je.

— C'est du tout cuit. dit Corky.

Et quelques jours plus tard, il flâna le long de l'Avenue jusqu’à mon appartement pour me dire que tout allait bien. L'oncle avait écrit à Muriel une lettre qui dégoulinait de bonté humaine et s'il avait pas connu l'écriture de M. Worple, Corky aurait refusé de croire qu'il en était l'auteur. Chaque fois qu’il convenait à Mlle Singer d’appeler, dit l’oncle, il serait ravi de faire plus ample connaissance.

Peu de temps après, je devais sortir de la ville. Divers bons sportifs m'avaient invité à leur rendre visite dans leurs maisons de campagne, et ce ne fut que plusieurs mois plus tard que je me réinstallai en ville.* Je m’interrogeais énormément, bien sûr, au sujet de Corky... si tout s'était bien passé, et ainsi de suite, et pour ma première soirée à New York, je me suis retrouvé dans un petit restaurant tranquille dans lequel je me rends quand je n'ai pas envie lumière et je suis tombé sur Muriel Singer, assise seule à une table près de la porte. Corky, je le supposais, était en train de téléphoner. Je m'approchai et passai un moment avec elle. *

̶̶̶ ̶ Eh bien, eh bien, eh bien, quoi? dis-je.

̶ Alors, monsieur Wooster! Comment allez-vous?

̶ Est-ce que Corky est là?

̶ Je vous demande pardon?

̶̶̶ ̶ Vous attendez Corky, n'est-ce pas?

— Oh, je n'avais pas compris. Non, je ne l'attends pas. "

Il semblait qu'il y avait une sorte de chose dans sa voix, une sorte de truc, vous savez.

̶ Euh... vous n'avez pas eu de querelle avec Corky, n'est-ce pas ? *

̶̶̶ ̶ Une querelle?

— Une prise de bec, ne savez-vous pas — un petit malentendu — des fautes réciproques — euh — et tout ce genre de choses.

̶̶̶ ̶ Pourquoi qu'est ce qui vous fait penser cela?

— Ah bien, donc, euh, quoi ? Ce que je veux dire c'est que... je pensais que généralement vous diniez avant d'aller au théâtre.

J'ai quitté la scène maintenant.

Tout à coup, tout me sembla clair. J'avais oublié que j'avais été parti un bon bout de temps.

— Ah ! Maintenant je comprends, bien sûr ! Vous vous êtes mariés !

— Oui.

— C'est superbe ! Je vous souhaite plein de bonheur. *

— Merci beaucoup. Oh, Alexander, dit-elle, en regardant derrière moi, Voici un ami - M. * Wooster.

Je me retournai. * Un gars avec une tignasse grise et un visage rougeaud de bonne santé se tenait là. Il avait plutôt l'air d'un gars redoutable bien qu'il fût en ce moment parfaitement calme.

— Je vous présente mon mari, Monsieur Wooster. Monsieur Wooster est un ami de Bruce, Alexander.

Le vieux me serra la main avec vigueur et c'est ce qui m'empêcha de m'écrouler sur le sol. Ça tanguait autour de moi. Vraiment.

— Ainsi vous connaissez mon neveu, Monsieur Wooster, l'endendis-je dire. — J'aimerais que vous essayiez de lui donner un peu de sens et de le faire arrêter de jouer à la peinture. Mais j'ai dans l'idée qu'il se stabilise. Je l'ai remarqué pour la première fois cette nuit-là, lorsqu'il est venu diner avec nous, ma chérie, pour vous être présenté. Il semblait à la fois plus calme et plus sérieux. Quelque chose semblait l'avoir dégrisé. Peut-être nous donnerez-vous le plaisir de votre compagnie à dîner ce soir, monsieur Wooster ? Ou avez-vous dîné ?

J'ai dit que j'avais dîné. J'avais besoin d'air maintenant, pas d'un dîner. Je sentais que j'avais besoin de prendre l'air et de réfléchir à ce sujet.

Quand j'atteignis mon appartement, j'entendis Jeeves se déplacer dans son repaire. Je l'appelai.

— Jeeves, dis-je, il est temps maintenant pour tous les hommes honnêtes de prendre part à la fête. Une rasade de Bourbon et soda avant tout, et ensuite j'aurai quelques nouvelles pour vous.

Il revint avec un plateau et un verre à cocktail.

— Vous feriez bien d'en prendre un aussi, Jeeves. Vous allez en avoir besoin.

— Peut-être plus tard, monsieur, merci.

— Très bien. Comme il vous plaira. Mais vous allez recevoir un choc. Vous vous souvenez de mon ami, monsieur Corcoran ?

— Oui monsieur.

Et de la fille qui devait délicatement se faufiler dans l'estime de son oncle en écrivant un livre sur les oiseaux ?

— Parfaitement monsieur.

— Eh bien, elle s'est merveilleusement faufilée. Elle s'est mariée avec l'oncle.

Il apprit cette nouvelle sans ciller. Impossible de déstabiliser Jeeves.

— C’était toujours un développement à craindre, monsieur.

— Vous ne voulez pas me dire que vous vous y attendiez ?*

Cette possibilité m'a traversé l'esprit. *

— Vraiment, sapristi ! Eh bien, je pense que vous auriez pu nous prévenir !

— Je n'aime guère prendre ce genre de liberté, monsieur.

Bien sûr, en fin de compte, après avoir mangé un morceau et repris mes esprits, je vis que je n'étais pas responsable de ce qui s'était passé. Je ne pouvais pas m'attendre à ce que ce plan, excellent au demeurant, tourne de la sorte en eau de boudin, mais tout de même, je ne me réjouissais pas à l'idée de revoir Corky avant que le temps, grand guérisseur, n'ait fait son œuvre d'apaisement. J'évitai complètement Washington square pendant les mois qui suivirent. Je lui abandonnai totalement le terrain. Et puis, juste au moment où je commençais à penser que je pourrais me balader en toute sécurité dans cette direction et ramasser les fils distendus de notre amitié, pour ainsi dire, le temps, au lieu d'apporter un mieux-être et du réconfort avait au contraire tout gangrené jusqu'à l'os. En ouvrant le journal un matin, je lus que Mme Alexander Worple avait offert un fils et un héritier à son mari.

J'étais tellement désolé pour ce pauvre vieux Corky que je n'eus pas le cœur de toucher à mon petit-déjeuner. Je dis à Jeeves de le boire lui-même. J'étais bouleversé. Absolument. C'était la limite. Je savais à peine quoi faire. Je voulais, évidemment, me précipiter vers Washington Square et saisir le pauvre type par la main en silence; et puis, en réfléchissant, je n'en avais pas le courage.
L'absence de traitement semblait être la chose à faire. Je le lui ai donné par vagues.

Mais après un mois environ, je recommençai à hésiter. Je suis frappé par le fait que cela est un peu méprisant pour le pauvre garçon, être ainsi évité juste au moment où il voudrait probablement que ses copains l'entourent au plus près. Je l'imaginais assis dans son studio solitaire, sans autre compagnie que ses pensées amères, et le pathétique de cette vision me fit un tel effet que je sautai directement dans un taxi et dis au conducteur de foncer vers le studio.

Je me précipitai à l'intérieur, il y avait Corky, courbé sur son chevalet, peignant de côté, tandis que sur le trône du modèle se trouva une femme à l'air très sévère d'âge moyen, tenant un bébé.

Un bonhomme doit être prêt pour ce genre de chose.

-- Oh, ah! dis-je, et je commençai à me retirer.

Corky regarda par-dessus son épaule.

-- Salut Bertie. Ne pars pas. Nous finissons juste pour la journée. Ce sera tout pour cet après-midi, dit-il à la nurse qui se leva avec le bébé et le déposa dans la poussette qui se trouvait dans le couloir.

— À la même heure demain, monsieur Corcoran ?

— Oui s'il vous plaît.

— Bonne après-midi. — Bonne après-midi.

Corky se tenait là à regarder la porte, puis il se tourna vers moi et commença à vider son sac. Heureusement, il semblait tenir pour acquis que je savais tout ce qui s'était passé, donc ce ne fut pas aussi gênant que ça aurait pu l'être.

— C'est l'idée de mon oncle, dit-il. Muriel n'est pas encore au courant. Le portrait doit être une surprise pour son anniversaire. Apparemment, la nurse emmène l'enfant prendre l'air, et ils rappliquent ici. Si tu veux une illustration de l'ironie du sort, examine celle-ci. Voici la première commande de portait que j'aie jamais eue et le modèle n'est autre que cet avorton qui a tout foutu en l'air et m'a éjecté de l'héritage. C'est dingue ! J'appelle ça, brosser le portrait, pour m'attendre à passer mes après-midi à contempler le visage laid d'un petit morveux qui, à toutes fins utiles, m'a frappé derrière l'oreille avec un blackjack et a volé tout ce que je possède. Je ne peux pas refuser de peindre ce portrait parce que si je le fais mon oncle arrêtera de verser mon allocation ; pourtant, chaque fois que je le regarde et croise le regard vide de cet enfant, je suis à l'agonie. Je te le dis, Bertie, parfois, quand il me jette un regard condescendant, puis se détourne et est malade, comme si cela le révoltait de me regarder, je suis sur le point d’occuper toute la première page des journaux du soir telle la dernière sensation meurtrière. Il y a des moments où je peux presque voir les manchettes : « Jeune artiste prometteur frappe un bébé à mort avec une hache ».

Je lui tapotais l'épaule en silence. Ma sympathie pour le pauvre vieux type était trop profonde pour la traduire par des mots.

Je suis resté éloigné de l'appartement pendant quelque temps, car il ne me semblait pas bon de m'immiscer dans le chagrin du pauvre gars. De plus, je suis obligé de dire que l'infirmière m'intimidait. Elle me rappelait de manière effroyable la tante Agatha. Elle avait ce même regard perçant.

Mais un après-midi, Corky m'a appelé au téléphone.

— Bertie.

— Halloa ?

— Est-ce que tu fais quelque chose cet après-midi ?

— Rien de spécial.

— Tu ne pourrais pas venir ici, peux-tu ?

— Quel est le problème ? du nouveau ?

— J'ai terminé le portrait.

— Brave type ! Bon travail!

— Oui. Sa voix semblait plutôt incertaine. — En fait, Bertie, ça ne me paraît pas très bon. Il y a quelque chose à ce propos - Mon oncle viendra dans une demi-heure pour l'examiner, et - je ne sais pas pourquoi, mais je pressens que j'aimerais ton soutien moral !

Je commençais à m'apercevoir que je m'en doutais un peu. La coopération sympathique de Jeeves me parut indiquée.

— Tu penses qu'il m'attaquera?

— Il peut.

Je me souvenais de la figure rougeaude du gars que j'avais rencontré au restaurant et j'essayais de l'imaginer sortir de ses gonds. Ce n'était pas difficile. Je parlais sans détour avec Corky au téléphone.

— Je vais venir, dis-je.

— Bien !

— Mais seulement si je peux amener Jeeves !

— Pourquoi amener Jeeves ? Qu'est-ce que Jeeves a à voir dans cette histoire. Qui veut de Jeeves ? Jeeves est le cinglé qui a suggéré ce plan qui a mené à... — Écoute, Jeeves, vieille toupie ! Si tu t’imagines que je vais affronter ton oncle sans l'aide de Jeeves, tu fais erreur. Je préfèrerais aller dans l'antre de bêtes sauvages et y mordre un lion à la nuque.

— Bon d'accord, dit Corky. Pas de bon cœur, mais il l'avait dit. J'appelai donc Jeeves et lui expliquai la situation.

— Très bien, monsieur, répondit Jeeves.

C'est ce genre de gars. Vous ne pouvez le déconcerter.

Nous trouvâmes Corky près de la porte à regarder le tableau, une main en avant en guise de protection, comme s'il pensait que le tableau pouvait lui tomber dessus.

— Reste où tu es, Bertie, dit-il sans bouger. Maintenant, dis-moi honnêtement, qu'est-ce qui te frappe ?

Depuis la grande fenêtre, la lumière tombait directement sur le tableau. Je le regardai attentivement. Puis je me rapprochai et le regardai à nouveau. Ensuite, je suis retourné là où j'étais au début, car cela ne semblait pas si mal de là.

— Eh bien ? dit Corky anxieusement.

J'hésitai un peu.

— Bien entendu, vieil homme, je n'ai vu le gamin qu'une seule fois, et seulement pendant un moment, mais ... mais c'était un enfant laid, n'est-ce pas, si je me souviens bien ?

— Aussi laid que ça ?

Je regardai de nouveau, et l'honnêteté m'obligea à être franc.

— Je ne vois pas comment cela aurait pu être, mon vieux gars.

Le vieux Corky passa les doigts dans ses cheveux de façon caracterielle. Il gémissait.

— Tu as raison, Bertie. Quelque chose a mal tourné dans cette fichue histoire.** Mon impression personnelle est que, sans le savoir, j'ai peint selon les idées prônées par Sargent et ses confrères : peindre l'âme du modèle. Je suis allé au-delà de la simple apparence et j'ai peint l'âme de l'enfant sur la toile.

— Mais un enfant de cet âge peut-il avoir une telle âme ? Je ne vois pas comment il aurait pu le gérer dans le temps. Qu'en pensez-vous, Jeeves ?

— J'en doute, monsieur.

— On... on dirait qu'il vous lorgne, non ?

— Vous l'avez aussi remarqué ? demanda Corky.

— Je ne vois pas comment on pourrait ne pas le remarquer.

— Tout ce que j'ai fait c'est d'essayer de donner à cette petite peste une expression joyeuse. Mais finalement, il a l'air parfaitement débauché.

— C'est juste ce que j'allais dire, mon vieux. C'est comme s'il participait à une énorme ribouldingue et qu'il profitait de chaque instant. Vous pensez cela également, Jeeves ?

— Il a l'air d'être parfaitement éméché, monsieur.

Corky était sur le point de dire quelque chose lorsque la porte s'ouvrit et que l'oncle entra. Pendant environ trois secondes, ce ne fut que joie, entrain et amabilité. Le vieil garçon me serra la main, gifla Corky sur le dos, déclara qu'il ne pensait pas qu'il avait jamais vu un si beau jour, et lui frappa sa jambe avec son bâton. Jeeves s'était placé en arrière-plan et il ne l'avait pas remarqué.

— Eh bien ! Bruce, mon garçon, ainsi le portrait est vraiment achevé, il est... vraiment achevé ? Eh bien, montre-le ! Nous allons voir ça. Ce sera une merveilleuse surprise pour ta tante. Où est-il ? Allons... Et tout à coup il le vit, comme il n'était pas préparé pour un tel choc, il recula sur les talons.

— Ouah ! s'exclama-t-il. Et pendant peut-être une minute, un des silences les plus effroyables que j'aie jamais connu plana sur nous.

— C'est une plaisanterie ? dit-il au final, d'une manière qui jeta à travers la pièce seize courants d'air à la fois.

Je pensai qu'il était temps pour moi de venir en aide à ce vieux Corky.

— Vous devriez vous tenir un peu plus en retrait, dis-je.

— Vous avez parfaitement raison ! grogna-t-il. Je vais le faire. Je vais me tenir si loin que je ne pourrai plus voir cette chose même avec un télescope. Il se tourna vers Corky comme un tigre sauvage dans la jungle qui vient d'apercevoir un énorme morceau de viande. Et ceci... ceci... est ce à quoi tu as perdu ton temps et mon argent pendant toutes ces années ! Un peintre ! Je ne te laisserais pas peindre une de mes maisons. Je vous ai passé cette commande, en pensant que vous étiez un travailleur compétent, et ceci - ceci - cet extrait d'un supplément comique en couleur en est le résultat! Il se dirigea vers la porte, s'attaqua à la queue et grogna. — C'est la goutte qui fait déborder le vase ! Si tu souhaites continuer cette folie de prétendre être un artiste parce que tu cherches une excuse à ton oisiveté, fais comme il te plaira. Mais laisse-moi te dire ceci. À moins que tu ne te présentes lundi matin à mon bureau, prêt à abandonner toutes ces idioties et à commencer au bas de l'échelle dans l’entreprise et à y gravir les échelons, comme tu aurais dû le faire depuis une demi-douzaine d'années, tu ne recevras plus un cent... plus un cent... plus un seul... c'est décidé !
Puis la porte se referma et nous fûmes seuls. Et je sortis de l'abri anti-bombes.

— Corky, vieil ami ! Je murmurais timidement.

Corky regardait fixement le tableau. Son visage était fixe. Il avait un regard fuyant.

— Eh bien, c'est terminé ! murmura-t-il d'une voix entrecoupée.

— Qu'est ce que tu vas faire?.

— Faire?. — Que puis-je faire? Je ne peux pas rester ici s'il me coupe les vivres. Tu as entendu ce qu'il a dit. Je devrai aller au bureau lundi.

Je ne pouvais pas penser à quelque chose à dire. Je savais exactement comment il se sentait au sujet du bureau. Je ne sais pas quand j’ai été si incroyablement mal à l’aise. C’était comme si j’essayais de tenir une conversation avec un ami qui vient d’être condamné à vingt ans de taule.

Et puis une voix apaisante brisa le silence.

— Si je peux faire une suggestion, monsieur!

C'était Jeeves. Il avait glissé de l'ombre et regardait gravement la peinture. Franchement, je ne peux vous donner une meilleure idée de l'effet dévastateur que m'avait fait l’oncle de Corky lors de cette scène, qu'en vous disant qu'il m'avait complètement fait oublier, à ce moment-là, la présence de Jeeves.

— Je me demande si je ne vous ai jamais parlé, monsieur, de M. Digby Thistleton, avec qui j'ai servi une fois. Peut-être que vous l'avez rencontré? C'était un financier. Maintenant, il est connu sous le nom de Lord Brignorth. C'était un de ses adages préférés, comme quoi il y avait toujours une solution. La première fois que je l'ai entendu utiliser l'expression, c'était après l'échec d'un dépilatoire breveté qu'il promouvait.

— Jeeves, dis-je, de quoi diable parlez-vous ?

— J'ai mentionné M. Thistleton, monsieur, parce que son cas était à certains égards similaire à celui-ci. (ou similaire au cas présent) Son dépilatoire a échoué, mais il ne désespérait pas. Il l'a remis sur le marché sous le nom de Hair-o, garanti pour produire une repousse complète de cheveux en quelques mois. Ça été annoncé, monsieur, par une image humoristique d’une boule de billard, avant et après sa prise, qui a produit une fortune telle que M. Thistleton a été peu après élevé au rang de pair pour services rendus à son parti. Il me semble que, si M. Corcoran examine la question, il trouvera, comme M. Thistleton, qu'il existe toujours un moyen. M. Worple lui-même suggéra la solution de la difficulté. Dans le feu de l'action, il compara le portrait à la vignette d'un supplément de bande dessinée colorée. Je considère que la suggestion est très précieuse, monsieur. Le portrait de M. Corcoran, ne ressemblant guère à son unique enfant, ne plut peut-être pas à M. Worple, mais je ne doute pas que les éditeurs le considéreraient comme une bonne base pour une série de dessins humoristiques. Si M. Corcoran me permet de faire la suggestion, son talent a toujours été pour l'humour. Il y a quelque chose à propos de cette peinture - quelque chose d'audacieux et vigoureux, qui attire l'attention. Je suis certain que ce serait très populaire.

Corky regarda le tableau et fit une sorte de bruit sec et de succion avec sa bouche. Il semblait complètement à bout.

Et puis tout à coup, il se mit à rire de façon sauvage.

̶̶ ̶ Corky, mon vieux ! dis-je, le massant doucement. Je craignais que le pauvre type ne soit hystérique.

Il commença à chanceler un peu partout.

— Il a raison ! Cet homme a parfaitement raison ! Jeeves, vous me sauvez la vie ! Vous avez trouvé la plus grande idée de tous les temps ! Se présenter au bureau lundi ! Commencer au bas de l'échelle ! J'achèterai l'entreprise si j'en ai envie. Je connais le gars qui dirige la rubrique humoristique au Sunday Star. Il va adorer ce truc. Il m'a dit, pas plus tard que l'autre jour, comme il était difficile de trouver une bonne nouvelle série. Il va me donner tout ce je veux pour un tel futur succès. J'ai une mine d'or. Où est mon chapeau ? J'ai trouvé un revenu pour le restant de mes jours ! Où est ce maudit chapeau ? Prête-moi cinq dollars, Bertie. Je veux prendre un taxi jusque Park Row !

Jeeves sourit paternellement. Ou plutôt, il eut une sorte de spasme musculaire rassurant aux commissures des lèvres, c'est ce qui se rapproche le plus d'un sourire.

— Si je peux faire la suggestion, monsieur Corcoran - pour un titre pour la série que vous avez à l'esprit... Les Aventures de Bébé Blobb.

Corky et moi regardâmes la peinture, puis nous nous sommes regardés les uns les autres de manière émue. Jeeves avait raison. Il ne pouvait y avoir d'autre titre.

— Jeeves, dis-je. C'était quelques semaines plus tard, et je finissais juste de regarder la rubrique de bandes dessinées du Sunday Star. — Je suis optimiste. Je l'ai toujours été. Plus je vieillis, plus je suis d'accord avec Shakespeare et avec ces poètes "franchouilles" sur le fait qu'il fait toujours sombre avant l'aube, que dans toute chose il y a du bon et ce qu'à tout prendre personne ne gagne ni ne perd. Regardez M. Corcoran, par exemple. Il y avait un gars, à ce qu'on pouvait dire, qui baignait dans le potage jusqu'aux sourcils. Selon toutes les apparences, il trempait bien jusqu'au cou. Pourtant, regardez-le maintenant. Avez-vous vu ces dessins ?

— J'ai pris la liberté de les regarder avant de vous les apporter, monsieur. Extrêmement amusants.

— Ils ont eu un grand succès, vous savez.

— Je l’avais prévu, monsieur.

Je m'adossai aux oreillers.

— Vous savez, Jeeves, vous êtes un génie. Vous devriez recevoir une commission sur ces choses.

— Je n'ai aucunement à me plaindre à cet égard, monsieur. M. Corcoran a été très généreux. Je sors le costume marron, monsieur.

— Non, je pense que je vais porter le bleu à fines rayures rouges.

— Pas le bleu à fines rayures rouges, monsieur.

— Mais je serai plus chic dans celui-là.

— Pas le bleu à fines rayures rouges, monsieur.

— Oh, d'accord, faites comme vous voudrez.

— Très bien, monsieur. Merci, monsieur.

— Bien sûr, je sais que c'est mal d'être soumis ; mais Jeeves a toujours raison.

Vous devez en tenir compte, vous savez. Non ?

Publié dans US Saturday Evening Post, le 5 février 1916.
unit 1
Leave it to Jeeves (1916).
4 Translations, 7 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 2
By P.G.
2 Translations, 6 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 3
Wodehouse (1881-1975).
1 Translations, 4 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 4
Jeeves--my man, you know--is really a most extraordinary chap.
2 Translations, 5 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 5
So capable.
1 Translations, 4 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 6
Honestly, I shouldn't know what to do without him.
2 Translations, 5 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 8
You know the Johnnies I mean.
2 Translations, 5 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 9
You go up to them and say: "When's the next train for Melonsquashville, Tennessee?"
2 Translations, 6 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 10
and they reply, without stopping to think, "Two-forty-three, track ten, change at San Francisco."
2 Translations, 6 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 11
And they're right every time.
1 Translations, 2 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 12
Well, Jeeves gives you just the same impression of omniscience.
1 Translations, 4 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 14
I dug the address of the tailors out of him, and had them working on the thing inside the hour.
2 Translations, 5 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 15
"Jeeves," I said that evening.
1 Translations, 4 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 16
"I'm getting a check suit like that one of Mr.
1 Translations, 4 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 17
Byng's."
1 Translations, 4 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 18
"Injudicious, sir," he said firmly.
1 Translations, 5 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 19
"It will not become you."
1 Translations, 5 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 20
"What absolute rot!
1 Translations, 5 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 21
It's the soundest thing I've struck for years."
1 Translations, 5 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 22
"Unsuitable for you, sir."
1 Translations, 5 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 24
Jeeves was perfectly right.
1 Translations, 5 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 25
I looked a cross between a music-hall comedian and a cheap bookie.
1 Translations, 5 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 26
Yet Monty had looked fine in absolutely the same stuff.
1 Translations, 5 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 27
These things are just Life's mysteries, and that's all there is to it.
1 Translations, 5 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 29
The man knows everything.
2 Translations, 7 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 30
There was the matter of that tip on the "Lincolnshire."
3 Translations, 8 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 31
I forget now how I got it, but it had the aspect of being the real, red-hot tabasco.
3 Translations, 9 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 33
He shook his head.
1 Translations, 4 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 34
"I'd rather not, sir."
1 Translations, 3 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 35
"But it's the straight goods.
2 Translations, 7 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 36
I'm going to put my shirt on him."
2 Translations, 7 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 37
"I do not recommend it, sir.
1 Translations, 3 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 38
The animal is not intended to win.
1 Translations, 3 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 39
Second place is what the stable is after."
3 Translations, 5 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 40
Perfect piffle, I thought, of course.
2 Translations, 7 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 41
How the deuce could Jeeves know anything about it?
1 Translations, 3 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 42
Still, you know what happened.
1 Translations, 3 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
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unit 44
I went straight home and rang for Jeeves.
1 Translations, 5 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 45
"After this," I said, "not another step for me without your advice.
1 Translations, 5 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 46
From now on consider yourself the brains of the establishment."
1 Translations, 5 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 47
"Very good, sir.
1 Translations, 5 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 48
I shall endeavour to give satisfaction."
1 Translations, 5 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 49
And he has, by Jove!
1 Translations, 5 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 52
"Leave it to Jeeves," I said.
1 Translations, 4 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 53
I first got to know Corky when I came to New York.
2 Translations, 7 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 54
He was a pal of my cousin Gussie, who was in with a lot of people down Washington Square way.
3 Translations, 8 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 56
So I sent Jeeves out to find a decent apartment, and settled down for a bit of exile.
2 Translations, 4 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 57
I'm bound to say that New York's a topping place to be exiled in.
2 Translations, 4 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 60
Brainy coves.
1 Translations, 3 Upvotes, Last Activity 8 years, 1 month ago
unit 61
Corky was one of the artists.
1 Translations, 5 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 62
A portrait-painter, he called himself, but he hadn't painted any portraits.
1 Translations, 5 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 65
This makes it kind of difficult for a chappie.
2 Translations, 7 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 70
Corky's uncle was a robust sort of cove, who looked like living for ever.
2 Translations, 7 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
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He was fifty-one, and it seemed as if he might go to par.
2 Translations, 2 Upvotes, Last Activity 8 years ago
unit 73
What Corky kicked at was the way the above Worple used to harry him.
2 Translations, 7 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 74
Corky's uncle, you see, didn't want him to be an artist.
2 Translations, 6 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
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He didn't think he had any talent in that direction.
2 Translations, 5 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 77
Jute had apparently become a sort of obsession with him.
2 Translations, 7 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
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He seemed to attach almost a spiritual importance to it.
1 Translations, 5 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
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Corky, moreover, believed in his future as an artist.
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Some day, he said, he was going to make a hit.
2 Translations, 6 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 83
He wouldn't have got this if his uncle hadn't had a hobby.
1 Translations, 4 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 84
Mr. Worple was peculiar in this respect.
1 Translations, 4 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 87
But Mr. Worple in his spare time was what is known as an ornithologist.
1 Translations, 4 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
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unit 90
Corky used to go to him about once every three months and let him talk about American birds.
1 Translations, 4 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 92
But it was pretty rotten for the poor chap.
4 Translations, 8 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 95
I should imagine Jeeves feels very much the same about me.
3 Translations, 6 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 97
The very first words I spoke were, "Corky, how about your uncle?"
2 Translations, 6 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 98
The poor chap gave one of those mirthless laughs.
2 Translations, 6 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 100
"We're so scared, Mr. Wooster," said the girl.
1 Translations, 4 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 101
"We were hoping that you might suggest a way of breaking it to him."
2 Translations, 6 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 105
or words to that effect.
2 Translations, 5 Upvotes, Last Activity 8 years ago
unit 106
She made me feel that there was nothing I wouldn't do for her.
2 Translations, 1 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 109
I felt that I was with her in this thing to the limit.
2 Translations, 5 Upvotes, Last Activity 8 years ago
unit 110
"I don't see why your uncle shouldn't be most awfully bucked," I said to Corky.
3 Translations, 4 Upvotes, Last Activity 8 years ago
unit 111
"He will think Miss Singer the ideal wife for you."
1 Translations, 3 Upvotes, Last Activity 8 years ago
unit 112
Corky declined to cheer up.
1 Translations, 3 Upvotes, Last Activity 8 years ago
unit 113
"You don't know him.
1 Translations, 3 Upvotes, Last Activity 8 years ago
unit 114
Even if he did like Muriel he wouldn't admit it.
2 Translations, 5 Upvotes, Last Activity 8 years ago
unit 115
That's the sort of pig-headed guy he is.
1 Translations, 3 Upvotes, Last Activity 8 years ago
unit 116
It would be a matter of principle with him to kick.
4 Translations, 5 Upvotes, Last Activity 8 years ago
unit 118
He's always done it."
1 Translations, 3 Upvotes, Last Activity 8 years ago
unit 119
I strained the old bean to meet this emergency.
1 Translations, 3 Upvotes, Last Activity 8 years ago
unit 121
Then you come along----" "But how can I work it that way?"
1 Translations, 3 Upvotes, Last Activity 8 years ago
unit 122
I saw his point.
1 Translations, 3 Upvotes, Last Activity 8 years ago
unit 123
That was the catch.
1 Translations, 2 Upvotes, Last Activity 8 years ago
unit 124
"There's only one thing to do," I said.
1 Translations, 3 Upvotes, Last Activity 8 years ago
unit 125
"What's that?"
1 Translations, 3 Upvotes, Last Activity 8 years ago
unit 126
"Leave it to Jeeves."
5 Translations, 6 Upvotes, Last Activity 8 years ago
unit 127
And I rang the bell.
2 Translations, 5 Upvotes, Last Activity 8 years ago
unit 128
"Sir?"
1 Translations, 3 Upvotes, Last Activity 8 years ago
unit 129
said Jeeves, kind of manifesting himself.
1 Translations, 3 Upvotes, Last Activity 8 years ago
unit 134
I felt like a lost child who spots his father in the offing.
4 Translations, 5 Upvotes, Last Activity 8 years ago
unit 135
There was something about him that gave me confidence.
2 Translations, 3 Upvotes, Last Activity 8 years ago
unit 136
Jeeves is a tallish man, with one of those dark, shrewd faces.
1 Translations, 3 Upvotes, Last Activity 8 years ago
unit 137
His eye gleams with the light of pure intelligence.
2 Translations, 3 Upvotes, Last Activity 8 years ago
unit 138
"Jeeves, we want your advice."
1 Translations, 3 Upvotes, Last Activity 8 years ago
unit 139
"Very good, sir."
1 Translations, 3 Upvotes, Last Activity 8 years ago
unit 140
I boiled down Corky's painful case into a few well-chosen words.
2 Translations, 4 Upvotes, Last Activity 8 years ago
unit 141
"So you see what it amounts to, Jeeves.
1 Translations, 3 Upvotes, Last Activity 8 years ago
unit 143
Understand?"
1 Translations, 2 Upvotes, Last Activity 8 years ago
unit 144
"Perfectly, sir."
1 Translations, 3 Upvotes, Last Activity 8 years ago
unit 145
"Well, try to think of something."
1 Translations, 3 Upvotes, Last Activity 8 years ago
unit 146
"I have thought of something already, sir."
1 Translations, 4 Upvotes, Last Activity 8 years ago
unit 147
"You have!"
3 Translations, 5 Upvotes, Last Activity 8 years ago
unit 150
Naturally the poor chap's face dropped, for this seemed to dish the whole thing.
2 Translations, 1 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 152
"You can count on me for all that sort of thing, Corky," I said.
1 Translations, 2 Upvotes, Last Activity 8 years ago
unit 153
"Only too glad.
2 Translations, 2 Upvotes, Last Activity 8 years ago
unit 154
Carry on, Jeeves."
2 Translations, 2 Upvotes, Last Activity 8 years ago
unit 156
"How on earth did you know that he was fond of birds?"
1 Translations, 2 Upvotes, Last Activity 8 years ago
unit 157
"It is the way these New York apartments are constructed, sir.
1 Translations, 2 Upvotes, Last Activity 8 years ago
unit 158
Quite unlike our London houses.
1 Translations, 1 Upvotes, Last Activity 8 years ago
unit 159
The partitions between the rooms are of the flimsiest nature.
1 Translations, 2 Upvotes, Last Activity 8 years ago
unit 161
"Oh!
1 Translations, 2 Upvotes, Last Activity 8 years ago
unit 162
Well?"
1 Translations, 2 Upvotes, Last Activity 8 years ago
unit 168
I had betted on Jeeves all along, and I had known that he wouldn't let me down.
1 Translations, 3 Upvotes, Last Activity 8 years ago
unit 170
unit 171
"Jeeves," I said, "that is absolutely ripping!
1 Translations, 2 Upvotes, Last Activity 8 years ago
unit 172
One of your very best efforts."
1 Translations, 1 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 173
"Thank you, sir."
1 Translations, 2 Upvotes, Last Activity 8 years ago
unit 174
The girl made an objection.
1 Translations, 2 Upvotes, Last Activity 8 years ago
unit 175
"But I'm sure I couldn't write a book about anything.
2 Translations, 5 Upvotes, Last Activity 8 years ago
unit 176
I can't even write good letters."
1 Translations, 2 Upvotes, Last Activity 8 years ago
unit 177
"Muriel's talents," said Corky, with a little cough "lie more in the direction of the drama, Bertie.
2 Translations, 1 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 180
I saw what he meant.
1 Translations, 1 Upvotes, Last Activity 8 years ago
unit 184
They don't seem able to stick it at any price.
4 Translations, 3 Upvotes, Last Activity 8 years ago
unit 185
But Jeeves had a solution, of course.
1 Translations, 3 Upvotes, Last Activity 8 years ago
unit 187
It is only necessary that the young lady's name should appear on the title page."
1 Translations, 3 Upvotes, Last Activity 8 years ago
unit 188
"That's true," said Corky.
1 Translations, 3 Upvotes, Last Activity 8 years ago
unit 189
"Sam Patterson would do it for a hundred dollars.
1 Translations, 3 Upvotes, Last Activity 8 years ago
unit 191
A little thing like this would be nothing to him.
1 Translations, 1 Upvotes, Last Activity 8 years ago
unit 192
I'll get after him right away."
1 Translations, 1 Upvotes, Last Activity 8 years ago
unit 193
"Fine!"
1 Translations, 1 Upvotes, Last Activity 8 years ago
unit 194
"Will that be all, sir?"
4 Translations, 6 Upvotes, Last Activity 8 years ago
unit 195
said Jeeves.
1 Translations, 3 Upvotes, Last Activity 8 years ago
unit 196
"Very good, sir.
1 Translations, 3 Upvotes, Last Activity 8 years ago
unit 197
Thank you, sir."
1 Translations, 4 Upvotes, Last Activity 8 years ago
unit 200
I know, because I've been one myself.
1 Translations, 1 Upvotes, Last Activity 8 years ago
unit 204
It was certainly some book.
4 Translations, 1 Upvotes, Last Activity 8 years ago
unit 206
I opened a copy at random.
1 Translations, 2 Upvotes, Last Activity 8 years ago
unit 209
You see.
2 Translations, 2 Upvotes, Last Activity 8 years ago
unit 210
A boost for the uncle right away.
1 Translations, 2 Upvotes, Last Activity 8 years ago
unit 212
It was great stuff.
2 Translations, 3 Upvotes, Last Activity 8 years ago
unit 214
I didn't see how the uncle could fail to drop.
5 Translations, 4 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 216
"It's a cert!"
1 Translations, 3 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 217
I said.
1 Translations, 3 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 218
"An absolute cinch!"
1 Translations, 3 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 219
said Corky.
1 Translations, 3 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 220
And a day or two later he meandered up the Avenue to my apartment to tell me that all was well.
2 Translations, 4 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 222
unit 223
Shortly after this I had to go out of town.
2 Translations, 5 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 226
Corky, I took it, was out telephoning.
2 Translations, 5 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 227
I went up and passed the time of day.
3 Translations, 7 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 228
"Well, well, well, what?"
1 Translations, 3 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 229
I said.
1 Translations, 4 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 230
"Why, Mr. Wooster!
1 Translations, 3 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 231
How do you do?"
1 Translations, 3 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 232
"Corky around?"
1 Translations, 4 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 233
"I beg your pardon?"
1 Translations, 3 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 234
"You're waiting for Corky, aren't you?"
1 Translations, 4 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 235
"Oh, I didn't understand.
2 Translations, 5 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 236
No, I'm not waiting for him."
2 Translations, 5 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 237
It seemed to roe that there was a sort of something in her voice, a kind of thingummy, you know.
1 Translations, 2 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 238
"I say, you haven't had a row with Corky, have you?"
3 Translations, 7 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 239
"A row?"
1 Translations, 3 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 240
unit 241
"Why, whatever makes you think that?"
1 Translations, 1 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 242
"Oh, well, as it were, what?
1 Translations, 3 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 243
What I mean is--I thought you usually dined with him before you went to the theatre."
1 Translations, 4 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 244
"I've left the stage now."
1 Translations, 4 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 245
Suddenly the whole thing dawned on me.
1 Translations, 4 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 246
I had forgotten what a long time I had been away.
1 Translations, 4 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 247
"Why, of course, I see now!
1 Translations, 3 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 248
You're married!"
1 Translations, 3 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 249
"Yes."
1 Translations, 3 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 250
"How perfectly topping!
1 Translations, 3 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 251
I wish you all kinds of happiness."
2 Translations, 6 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 252
"Thank you, so much.
1 Translations, 3 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 253
Oh Alexander," she said, looking past me, "this is a friend of mine--Mr.
2 Translations, 6 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 254
Wooster."
1 Translations, 2 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 255
I spun round.
2 Translations, 5 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 256
A chappie with a lot of stiff grey hair and a red sort of healthy face was standing there.
1 Translations, 4 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 257
Rather a formidable Johnnie, he looked, though quite peaceful at the moment.
1 Translations, 4 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 258
"I want you to meet my husband, Mr. Wooster.
1 Translations, 4 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 259
Mr. Wooster is a friend of Bruce's, Alexander."
1 Translations, 4 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 260
The old boy grasped my hand warmly, and that was all that kept me from hitting the floor in a heap.
2 Translations, 5 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 261
The place was rocking.
1 Translations, 4 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 262
Absolutely.
1 Translations, 4 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 263
"So you know my nephew, Mr. Wooster," I heard him say.
1 Translations, 4 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 264
"I wish you would try to knock a little sense into him and make him quit this playing at painting.
1 Translations, 2 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 265
But I have an idea that he is steadying down.
2 Translations, 5 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 266
I noticed it first that night he came to dinner with us, my dear, to be introduced to you.
2 Translations, 6 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 267
He seemed altogether quieter and more serious.
2 Translations, 5 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 268
Something seemed to have sobered him.
2 Translations, 3 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 269
Perhaps you will give us the pleasure of your company at dinner to-night, Mr. Wooster?
2 Translations, 6 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 270
Or have you dined?"
2 Translations, 4 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 271
I said I had.
2 Translations, 5 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 272
What I needed then was air, not dinner.
2 Translations, 5 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 273
I felt that I wanted to get into the open and think this thing out.
2 Translations, 5 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 274
When I reached my apartment I heard Jeeves moving about in his lair.
2 Translations, 3 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 275
I called him.
1 Translations, 3 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 276
"Jeeves," I said, "now is the time for all good men to come to the aid of the party.
2 Translations, 4 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 277
A stiff b.-and-s. first of all, and then I've a bit of news for you."
4 Translations, 4 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 278
He came back with a tray and a long glass.
1 Translations, 4 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 279
"Better have one yourself, Jeeves.
1 Translations, 4 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 280
You'll need it."
1 Translations, 4 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 281
"Later on, perhaps, thank you, sir."
1 Translations, 3 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 282
"All right.
1 Translations, 3 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 283
Please yourself.
1 Translations, 3 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 284
But you're going to get a shock.
1 Translations, 3 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 285
You remember my friend, Mr.
1 Translations, 2 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 286
Corcoran?"
1 Translations, 1 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 287
"Yes, sir."
1 Translations, 2 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 288
"And the girl who was to slide gracefully into his uncle's esteem by writing the book on birds?"
1 Translations, 3 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 289
"Perfectly, sir."
1 Translations, 2 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 290
"Well, she's slid.
1 Translations, 3 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 291
She's married the uncle."
2 Translations, 3 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 292
He took it without blinking.
2 Translations, 3 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 293
You can't rattle Jeeves.
1 Translations, 3 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 294
"That was always a development to be feared, sir."
2 Translations, 3 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 295
"You don't mean to tell me that you were expecting it?"
3 Translations, 4 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 296
"It crossed my mind as a possibility."
3 Translations, 5 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 297
"Did it, by Jove!
1 Translations, 3 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 298
Well, I think, you might have warned us!"
4 Translations, 5 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 299
"I hardly liked to take the liberty, sir."
2 Translations, 4 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 302
I cut Washington Square out absolutely for the next few months.
1 Translations, 4 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 303
I gave it the complete missin-baulk.
5 Translations, 4 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 306
I was so darned sorry for poor old Corky that I hadn't the heart to touch my breakfast.
2 Translations, 3 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 307
I told Jeeves to drink it himself.
1 Translations, 2 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 308
I was bowled over.
1 Translations, 2 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 309
Absolutely.
1 Translations, 2 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 310
It was the limit.
1 Translations, 2 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 311
I hardly knew what to do.
1 Translations, 2 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 313
Absent treatment seemed the touch.
2 Translations, 1 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 314
I gave it him in waves.
2 Translations, 1 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 315
But after a month or so I began to hesitate again.
2 Translations, 3 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 319
A fellow has to be ready for that sort of thing.
1 Translations, 2 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 320
"Oh, ah!"
1 Translations, 2 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 321
I said, and started to back out.
2 Translations, 4 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 322
Corky looked over his shoulder.
1 Translations, 2 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 323
"Halloa, Bertie.
1 Translations, 2 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 324
Don't go.
1 Translations, 2 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 325
We're just finishing for the day.
1 Translations, 2 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 327
"At the same hour to-morrow, Mr.
1 Translations, 3 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 328
Corcoran?"
1 Translations, 3 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 329
"Yes, please."
1 Translations, 3 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 330
"Good afternoon."
1 Translations, 3 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 331
"Good afternoon."
1 Translations, 3 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 332
Corky stood there, looking at the door, and then he turned to me and began to get it off his chest.
1 Translations, 3 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 334
"It's my uncle's idea," he said.
1 Translations, 3 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 335
"Muriel doesn't know about it yet.
1 Translations, 3 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 336
The portrait's to be a surprise for her on her birthday.
1 Translations, 4 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 337
The nurse takes the kid out ostensibly to get a breather, and they beat it down here.
1 Translations, 4 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 338
If you want an instance of the irony of fate, Bertie, get acquainted with this.
2 Translations, 4 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 340
Can you beat it!
1 Translations, 4 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 344
unit 345
I patted his shoulder silently.
3 Translations, 6 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 346
My sympathy for the poor old scout was too deep for words.
2 Translations, 2 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 348
Besides, I'm bound to say that nurse intimidated me.
3 Translations, 4 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 349
She reminded me so infernally of Aunt Agatha.
2 Translations, 3 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 350
She was the same gimlet-eyed type.
1 Translations, 3 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 351
But one afternoon Corky called me on the 'phone.
2 Translations, 4 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 352
"Bertie."
1 Translations, 3 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 353
"Halloa?"
1 Translations, 3 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 354
"Are you doing anything this afternoon?"
1 Translations, 3 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 355
"Nothing special."
1 Translations, 3 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 356
"You couldn't come down here, could you?"
1 Translations, 2 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 357
"What's the trouble?
1 Translations, 3 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 358
Anything up?"
1 Translations, 3 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 359
"I've finished the portrait."
1 Translations, 3 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 360
"Good boy!
1 Translations, 2 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 361
Stout work!"
1 Translations, 2 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 362
"Yes."
3 Translations, 5 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 363
His voice sounded rather doubtful.
1 Translations, 3 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 364
"The fact is, Bertie, it doesn't look quite right to me.
1 Translations, 3 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 366
I began to see that I was letting myself in for something.
2 Translations, 4 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 367
The sympathetic co-operation of Jeeves seemed to me to be indicated.
1 Translations, 1 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 368
"You think he'll cut up rough?"
1 Translations, 2 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 369
"He may."
1 Translations, 1 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 371
It was only too easy.
1 Translations, 3 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 372
I spoke to Corky firmly on the telephone.
1 Translations, 3 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 373
"I'll come," I said.
1 Translations, 3 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 374
"Good!"
1 Translations, 3 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 375
"But only if I may bring Jeeves!"
1 Translations, 3 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 376
"Why Jeeves?
1 Translations, 3 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 377
What's Jeeves got to do with it?
1 Translations, 3 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 378
Who wants Jeeves?
1 Translations, 3 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 379
Jeeves is the fool who suggested the scheme that has led----" "Listen, Corky, old top!
1 Translations, 3 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 380
If you think I am going to face that uncle of yours without Jeeves's support, you're mistaken.
1 Translations, 3 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 381
I'd sooner go into a den of wild beasts and bite a lion on the back of the neck."
1 Translations, 3 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 382
"Oh, all right," said Corky.
1 Translations, 3 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 383
Not cordially, but he said it; so I rang for Jeeves, and explained the situation.
1 Translations, 3 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 384
"Very good, sir," said Jeeves.
1 Translations, 3 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 385
That's the sort of chap he is.
1 Translations, 3 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 386
You can't rattle him.
1 Translations, 3 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 388
"Stand right where you are, Bertie," he said, without moving.
1 Translations, 3 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 389
"Now, tell me honestly, how does it strike you?"
1 Translations, 3 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 390
The light from the big window fell right on the picture.
1 Translations, 2 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 391
I took a good look at it.
1 Translations, 2 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 392
Then I shifted a bit nearer and took another look.
1 Translations, 2 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 393
Then I went back to where I had been at first, because it hadn't seemed quite so bad from there.
1 Translations, 3 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 394
"Well?"
1 Translations, 3 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 395
said Corky, anxiously.
1 Translations, 3 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 396
I hesitated a bit.
1 Translations, 3 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 398
"As ugly as that?"
1 Translations, 3 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 399
I looked again, and honesty compelled me to be frank.
1 Translations, 3 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 400
"I don't see how it could have been, old chap."
1 Translations, 1 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 401
Poor old Corky ran his fingers through his hair in a temperamental sort of way.
1 Translations, 2 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 402
He groaned.
2 Translations, 4 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 403
"You're right quite, Bertie.
2 Translations, 4 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 404
Something's gone wrong with the darned thing.
3 Translations, 2 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 406
I've got through the mere outward appearance, and have put the child's soul on canvas."
1 Translations, 2 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 407
"But could a child of that age have a soul like that?
1 Translations, 2 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 408
I don't see how he could have managed it in the time.
2 Translations, 1 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 409
What do you think, Jeeves?"
1 Translations, 2 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 410
"I doubt it, sir."
1 Translations, 2 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 411
"It--it sorts of leers at you, doesn't it?"
1 Translations, 2 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 412
"You've noticed that, too?"
1 Translations, 2 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 413
said Corky.
1 Translations, 2 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 414
"I don't see how one could help noticing."
1 Translations, 2 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 415
"All I tried to do was to give the little brute a cheerful expression.
1 Translations, 2 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 416
But, as it worked out, he looks positively dissipated."
1 Translations, 2 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 417
"Just what I was going to suggest, old man.
1 Translations, 2 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 418
He looks as if he were in the middle of a colossal spree, and enjoying every minute of it.
1 Translations, 2 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 419
Don't you think so, Jeeves?"
1 Translations, 2 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 420
"He has a decidedly inebriated air, sir."
1 Translations, 2 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 421
Corky was starting to say something when the door opened, and the uncle came in.
1 Translations, 2 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 422
For about three seconds all was joy, jollity, and goodwill.
1 Translations, 2 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 424
Jeeves had projected himself into the background, and he didn't notice him.
1 Translations, 2 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 425
"Well, Bruce, my boy; so the portrait is really finished, is it--really finished?
1 Translations, 2 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 426
Well, bring it out.
1 Translations, 2 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 427
Let's have a look at it.
1 Translations, 2 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 428
This will be a wonderful surprise for your aunt.
1 Translations, 2 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 429
Where is it?
1 Translations, 2 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 431
"Oosh!"
1 Translations, 2 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 432
he exclaimed.
1 Translations, 2 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 433
And for perhaps a minute there was one of the scaliest silences I've ever run up against.
1 Translations, 2 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 434
"Is this a practical joke?"
1 Translations, 2 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 435
he said at last, in a way that set about sixteen draughts cutting through the room at once.
2 Translations, 1 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 436
I thought it was up to me to rally round old Corky.
1 Translations, 2 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 437
"You want to stand a bit farther away from it," I said.
1 Translations, 2 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 438
"You're perfectly right!"
1 Translations, 2 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 439
he snorted.
1 Translations, 2 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 440
"I do!
1 Translations, 2 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 441
I want to stand so far away from it that I can't see the thing with a telescope!"
1 Translations, 2 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 442
He turned on Corky like an untamed tiger of the jungle who has just located a chunk of meat.
1 Translations, 2 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 443
"And this--this--is what you have been wasting your time and my money for all these years!
1 Translations, 2 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 444
A painter!
1 Translations, 2 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 445
I wouldn't let you paint a house of mine!
1 Translations, 2 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 447
He swung towards the door, lashing his tail and growling to himself.
1 Translations, 1 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 448
"This ends it!
2 Translations, 1 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 450
But let me tell you this.
2 Translations, 3 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 452
Then the door closed, and he was no longer with us.
1 Translations, 2 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 453
And I crawled out of the bombproof shelter.
3 Translations, 1 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 454
"Corky, old top!"
2 Translations, 3 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 455
I whispered faintly.
1 Translations, 2 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 456
Corky was standing staring at the picture.
2 Translations, 3 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 457
His face was set.
2 Translations, 3 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 458
There was a hunted look in his eye.
2 Translations, 1 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 459
"Well, that finishes it!"
2 Translations, 3 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 460
he muttered brokenly.
2 Translations, 3 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 461
"What are you going to do?"
1 Translations, 2 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 462
"Do?
1 Translations, 2 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 463
What can I do?
1 Translations, 2 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 464
I can't stick on here if he cuts off supplies.
2 Translations, 3 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 465
You heard what he said.
2 Translations, 3 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 466
I shall have to go to the office on Monday."
2 Translations, 3 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 467
I couldn't think of a thing to say.
2 Translations, 3 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 468
I knew exactly how he felt about the office.
1 Translations, 2 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 469
I don't know when I've been so infernally uncomfortable.
2 Translations, 1 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 471
And then a soothing voice broke the silence.
1 Translations, 2 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 472
"If I might make a suggestion, sir!"
1 Translations, 2 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 473
It was Jeeves.
1 Translations, 2 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 474
He had slid from the shadows and was gazing gravely at the picture.
2 Translations, 3 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 477
Perhaps you have met him?
1 Translations, 2 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 478
He was a financier.
2 Translations, 2 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 479
He is now Lord Bridgnorth.
2 Translations, 1 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 480
It was a favourite saying of his that there is always a way.
2 Translations, 1 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 482
"Jeeves," I said, "what on earth are you talking about?"
2 Translations, 3 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 483
unit 484
His depilatory failed, but he did not despair.
2 Translations, 3 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 488
Mr. Worple himself suggested the solution of the difficulty.
1 Translations, 2 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 489
In the heat of the moment he compared the portrait to an extract from a coloured comic supplement.
2 Translations, 1 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 490
I consider the suggestion a very valuable one, sir.
1 Translations, 2 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 492
If Mr. Corcoran will allow me to make the suggestion, his talent has always been for the humorous.
1 Translations, 3 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 493
There is something about this picture--something bold and vigorous, which arrests the attention.
2 Translations, 4 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 494
I feel sure it would be highly popular."
1 Translations, 3 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 495
Corky was glaring at the picture, and making a sort of dry, sucking noise with his mouth.
2 Translations, 4 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 496
He seemed completely overwrought.
3 Translations, 4 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 497
And then suddenly he began to laugh in a wild way.
1 Translations, 3 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 498
"Corky, old man!"
1 Translations, 3 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 499
I said, massaging him tenderly.
1 Translations, 1 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 500
I feared the poor blighter was hysterical.
2 Translations, 4 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 501
He began to stagger about all over the floor.
2 Translations, 1 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 502
"He's right!
1 Translations, 3 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 503
The man's absolutely right!
1 Translations, 3 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 504
Jeeves, you're a life-saver!
1 Translations, 3 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 505
You've hit on the greatest idea of the age!
1 Translations, 3 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 506
Report at the office on Monday!
1 Translations, 3 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 507
Start at the bottom of the business!
1 Translations, 3 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 508
I'll buy the business if I feel like it.
1 Translations, 3 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 509
I know the man who runs the comic section of the Sunday Star.
1 Translations, 3 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 510
He'll eat this thing.
1 Translations, 3 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 511
He was telling me only the other day how hard it was to get a good new series.
1 Translations, 3 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 512
He'll give me anything I ask for a real winner like this.
1 Translations, 3 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 513
I've got a gold-mine.
1 Translations, 3 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 514
Where's my hat?
1 Translations, 3 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 515
I've got an income for life!
1 Translations, 3 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 516
Where's that confounded hat?
1 Translations, 3 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 517
Lend me a fiver, Bertie.
2 Translations, 3 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 518
I want to take a taxi down to Park Row!"
1 Translations, 2 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 519
Jeeves smiled paternally.
1 Translations, 3 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 522
Corky and I looked at the picture, then at each other in an awed way.
2 Translations, 1 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 523
Jeeves was right.
1 Translations, 2 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 524
There could be no other title.
1 Translations, 2 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 525
"Jeeves," I said.
1 Translations, 2 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 526
It was a few weeks later, and I had just finished looking at the comic section of the Sunday Star.
2 Translations, 4 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 527
"I'm an optimist.
1 Translations, 3 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 528
I always have been.
2 Translations, 3 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 530
Look at Mr. Corcoran, for instance.
1 Translations, 3 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 531
There was a fellow, one would have said, clear up to the eyebrows in the soup.
2 Translations, 3 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 532
To all appearances he had got it right in the neck.
3 Translations, 3 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 533
Yet look at him now.
1 Translations, 2 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 534
Have you seen these pictures?"
2 Translations, 4 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 535
"I took the liberty of glancing at them before bringing them to you, sir.
2 Translations, 4 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 536
Extremely diverting."
1 Translations, 3 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 537
"They have made a big hit, you know."
3 Translations, 1 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 538
"I anticipated it, sir."
2 Translations, 4 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 539
I leaned back against the pillows.
2 Translations, 4 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 540
"You know, Jeeves, you're a genius.
1 Translations, 3 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 541
You ought to be drawing a commission on these things."
1 Translations, 2 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 542
"I have nothing to complain of in that respect, sir.
2 Translations, 3 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 543
Mr. Corcoran has been most generous.
2 Translations, 2 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 544
I am putting out the brown suit, sir."
1 Translations, 2 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 545
"No, I think I'll wear the blue with the faint red stripe."
2 Translations, 3 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 546
"Not the blue with the faint red stripe, sir."
2 Translations, 3 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 547
"But I rather fancy myself in it."
2 Translations, 3 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 548
"Not the blue with the faint red stripe, sir."
2 Translations, 3 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 549
"Oh, all right, have it your own way."
2 Translations, 3 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 550
"Very good, sir.
1 Translations, 2 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 551
Thank you, sir."
1 Translations, 2 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 552
Of course, I know it's as bad as being henpecked; but then Jeeves is always right.
2 Translations, 3 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 553
You've got to consider that, you know.
1 Translations, 2 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 554
What?
2 Translations, 3 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago
unit 555
Published in the US Saturday Evening Post, February 5, 1916.
2 Translations, 3 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 years, 2 months ago

Leave it to Jeeves (1916).

By P.G. Wodehouse (1881-1975).

Jeeves--my man, you know--is really a most extraordinary chap. So capable. Honestly, I shouldn't know what to do without him. On broader lines he's like those chappies who sit peering sadly over the marble battlements at the Pennsylvania Station in the place
marked "Inquiries." You know the Johnnies I mean. You go up to them and say: "When's the next train for Melonsquashville, Tennessee?" and they reply, without stopping to think, "Two-forty-three, track ten, change at San Francisco." And they're right every time. Well, Jeeves gives you just the same impression of omniscience.

As an instance of what I mean, I remember meeting Monty Byng in Bond Street one morning, looking the last word in a grey check suit, and I felt I should never be happy till I had one like it. I dug the address of the tailors out of him, and had them working on
the thing inside the hour.

"Jeeves," I said that evening. "I'm getting a check suit like that one of Mr. Byng's."

"Injudicious, sir," he said firmly. "It will not become you."

"What absolute rot! It's the soundest thing I've struck for years."

"Unsuitable for you, sir."

Well, the long and the short of it was that the confounded thing came home, and I put it on, and when I caught sight of myself in the glass I nearly swooned. Jeeves was perfectly right. I looked a cross between a music-hall comedian and a cheap bookie. Yet Monty had looked fine in absolutely the same stuff. These things are just Life's
mysteries, and that's all there is to it.

But it isn't only that Jeeves's judgment about clothes is infallible, though, of course, that's really the main thing. The man knows everything. There was the matter of that tip on the "Lincolnshire." I forget now how I got it, but it had the aspect of being the real, red-hot tabasco.

"Jeeves," I said, for I'm fond of the man, and like to do him a good turn when I can, "if you want to make a bit of money have something on Wonderchild for the 'Lincolnshire.'"

He shook his head.

"I'd rather not, sir."

"But it's the straight goods. I'm going to put my shirt on him."

"I do not recommend it, sir. The animal is not intended to win. Second place is what the stable is after."

Perfect piffle, I thought, of course. How the deuce could Jeeves know anything about it? Still, you know what happened. Wonderchild led till he was breathing on the wire, and then Banana Fritter came along and nosed him out. I went straight home and rang
for Jeeves.

"After this," I said, "not another step for me without your advice. From now on consider yourself the brains of the establishment."

"Very good, sir. I shall endeavour to give satisfaction."

And he has, by Jove! I'm a bit short on brain myself; the old bean would appear to have been constructed more for ornament than for use, don't you know; but give me five minutes to talk the thing over with Jeeves, and I'm game to advise any one about
anything. And that's why, when Bruce Corcoran came to me with his troubles, my first act was to ring the bell and put it up to the lad with the bulging forehead.

"Leave it to Jeeves," I said.

I first got to know Corky when I came to New York. He was a pal of my cousin Gussie, who was in with a lot of people down Washington Square way. I don't know if I ever told you about it, but the reason why I left England was because I was sent over by my Aunt Agatha to try to stop young Gussie marrying a girl on the vaudeville stage, and I got the whole thing so mixed up that I decided that it would be a sound scheme for me to stop on in America for a bit instead of going back and having long cosy chats about the thing with aunt. So I sent Jeeves out to find a decent apartment, and settled down for a bit of exile. I'm bound to say that New York's a topping place to be exiled in. Everybody was awfully good to me, and there seemed to be plenty of things going on, and I'm a wealthy bird, so everything was fine. Chappies introduced me to other chappies, and so on and so forth, and it wasn't long before I knew squads of the right sort, some who rolled in dollars in houses up by the Park, and others who lived with the gas turned down mostly around Washington Square--artists and writers and so forth. Brainy coves.

Corky was one of the artists. A portrait-painter, he called himself, but he hadn't painted any portraits. He was sitting on the side-lines with a blanket over his shoulders, waiting for a chance to get into the game. You see, the catch about portrait-painting--I've looked
into the thing a bit--is that you can't start painting portraits till people come along and ask you to, and they won't come and ask you to until you've painted a lot first. This makes it kind of difficult for a chappie. Corky managed to get along by drawing an occasional picture for the comic papers--he had rather a gift for funny stuff when he got
a good idea--and doing bedsteads and chairs and things for the advertisements. His principal source of income, however, was derived from biting the ear of a rich uncle--one Alexander Worple, who was in the jute business. I'm a bit foggy as to what jute is, but it's apparently something the populace is pretty keen on, for Mr. Worple had made quite an indecently large stack out of it.

Now, a great many fellows think that having a rich uncle is a pretty soft snap: but, according to Corky, such is not the case. Corky's uncle was a robust sort of cove, who looked like living for ever. He was fifty-one, and it seemed as if he might go to par. It
was not this, however, that distressed poor old Corky, for he was not bigoted and had no objection to the man going on living. What Corky kicked at was the way the above Worple used to harry him.

Corky's uncle, you see, didn't want him to be an artist. He didn't think he had any talent in that direction. He was always urging him to chuck Art and go into the jute business and start at the bottom and work his way up. Jute had apparently become a sort of
obsession with him. He seemed to attach almost a spiritual importance to it. And what Corky said was that, while he didn't know what they did at the bottom of the jute business, instinct told him that it was something too beastly for words. Corky, moreover,
believed in his future as an artist. Some day, he said, he was going to make a hit. Meanwhile, by using the utmost tact and persuasiveness, he was inducing his uncle to cough up very grudgingly a small quarterly allowance.

He wouldn't have got this if his uncle hadn't had a hobby. Mr. Worple was peculiar in this respect. As a rule, from what I've observed, the American captain of industry doesn't do anything out of business hours. When he has put the cat out and locked up the office for the night, he just relapses into a state of coma from which he emerges only to start being a captain of industry again. But Mr. Worple in his spare time was what is known as an ornithologist. He had written a book called American Birds, and was writing another, to be called More American Birds. When he had finished that, the presumption
was that he would begin a third, and keep on till the supply of American birds gave out. Corky used to go to him about once every three months and let him talk about American
birds. Apparently you could do what you liked with old Worple if you gave him his head first on his pet subject, so these little chats used to make Corky's allowance all right for the time being. But it was pretty rotten for the poor chap. There was the frightful
suspense, you see, and, apart from that, birds, except when broiled and in the society of a cold bottle, bored him stiff.

To complete the character-study of Mr. Worple, he was a man of extremely uncertain temper, and his general tendency was to think that Corky was a poor chump and that whatever step he took in any direction on his own account, was just another proof of
his innate idiocy. I should imagine Jeeves feels very much the same about me.

So when Corky trickled into my apartment one afternoon, shooing a girl in front of him, and said, "Bertie, I want you to meet my fiancee, Miss Singer," the aspect of the matter
which hit me first was precisely the one which he had come to consult me about. The very first words I spoke were, "Corky, how about your uncle?"

The poor chap gave one of those mirthless laughs. He was looking anxious and worried, like a man who has done the murder all right but can't think what the deuce to do with the body.

"We're so scared, Mr. Wooster," said the girl. "We were hoping that you might suggest a way of breaking it to him."

Muriel Singer was one of those very quiet, appealing girls who have a way of looking at you with their big eyes as if they thought you were the greatest thing on earth and wondered that you hadn't got on to it yet yourself. She sat there in a sort of shrinking way, looking at me as if she were saying to herself, "Oh, I do hope this great strong
man isn't going to hurt me." She gave a fellow a protective kind of feeling, made him want to stroke her hand and say, "There, there, little one!" or words to that effect. She made me feel that there was nothing I wouldn't do for her. She was rather like one of those innocent-tasting American drinks which creep imperceptibly into your system so
that, before you know what you're doing, you're starting out to reform the world by force if necessary and pausing on your way to tell the large man in the corner that, if he looks
at you like that, you will knock his head off. What I mean is, she made me feel alert and dashing, like a jolly old knight-errant or something of that kind. I felt that I was with her in this thing to the limit.

"I don't see why your uncle shouldn't be most awfully bucked," I said to Corky. "He will think Miss Singer the ideal wife for you."

Corky declined to cheer up.

"You don't know him. Even if he did like Muriel he wouldn't admit it. That's the sort of pig-headed guy he is. It would be a matter of principle with him to kick. All he would consider would be that I had gone and taken an important step without asking his advice, and he would raise Cain automatically. He's always done it."

I strained the old bean to meet this emergency.

"You want to work it so that he makes Miss Singer's acquaintance without knowing that you know her. Then you come along----"

"But how can I work it that way?"

I saw his point. That was the catch.

"There's only one thing to do," I said.

"What's that?"

"Leave it to Jeeves."

And I rang the bell.

"Sir?" said Jeeves, kind of manifesting himself. One of the rummy things about Jeeves is that, unless you watch like a hawk, you very seldom see him come into a room. He's like one of those weird chappies in India who dissolve themselves into thin air and nip through space in a sort of disembodied way and assemble the parts again just where they want them. I've got a cousin who's what they call a Theosophist, and he says he's often nearly worked the thing himself, but couldn't quite bring it off, probably owing to having fed in his boyhood on the flesh of animals slain in anger and pie.

The moment I saw the man standing there, registering respectful attention, a weight seemed to roll off my mind. I felt like a lost child who spots his father in the offing. There was something about him that gave me confidence.

Jeeves is a tallish man, with one of those dark, shrewd faces. His eye gleams with the light of pure intelligence.

"Jeeves, we want your advice."

"Very good, sir."

I boiled down Corky's painful case into a few well-chosen words.

"So you see what it amounts to, Jeeves. We want you to suggest some way by which Mr. Worple can make Miss Singer's acquaintance without getting on to the fact that Mr.
Corcoran already knows her. Understand?"

"Perfectly, sir."

"Well, try to think of something."

"I have thought of something already, sir."

"You have!"

"The scheme I would suggest cannot fail of success, but it has what may seem to you a drawback, sir, in that it requires a certain financial outlay."

"He means," I translated to Corky, "that he has got a pippin of an idea, but it's going to cost a bit."

Naturally the poor chap's face dropped, for this seemed to dish the whole thing. But I was still under the influence of the girl's melting gaze, and I saw that this was where I started in as a knight-errant.

"You can count on me for all that sort of thing, Corky," I said. "Only too glad. Carry on, Jeeves."

"I would suggest, sir, that Mr. Corcoran take advantage of Mr. Worple's attachment to ornithology."

"How on earth did you know that he was fond of birds?"

"It is the way these New York apartments are constructed, sir. Quite unlike our London houses. The partitions between the rooms are of the flimsiest nature. With no wish to
overhear, I have sometimes heard Mr. Corcoran expressing himself with a generous strength on the subject I have mentioned."

"Oh! Well?"

"Why should not the young lady write a small volume, to be entitled--let us say--The Children's Book of American Birds, and dedicate it to Mr. Worple! A limited edition could be published at your expense, sir, and a great deal of the book would, of course, be given over to eulogistic remarks concerning Mr. Worple's own larger treatise on the
same subject. I should recommend the dispatching of a presentation copy to Mr. Worple, immediately on publication, accompanied by a letter in which the young lady asks to be allowed to make the acquaintance of one to whom she owes so much. This
would, I fancy, produce the desired result, but as I say, the expense involved would be considerable."

I felt like the proprietor of a performing dog on the vaudeville stage when the tyke has just pulled off his trick without a hitch. I had betted on Jeeves all along, and I had known that he wouldn't let me down. It beats me sometimes why a man with his genius is satisfied to hang around pressing my clothes and whatnot. If I had half Jeeves's brain, I should have a stab, at being Prime Minister or something.

"Jeeves," I said, "that is absolutely ripping! One of your very best efforts."

"Thank you, sir."

The girl made an objection.

"But I'm sure I couldn't write a book about anything. I can't even write good letters." "Muriel's talents," said Corky, with a little cough "lie more in the direction of the drama, Bertie. I didn't mention it before, but one of our reasons for being a trifle nervous as to
how Uncle Alexander will receive the news is that Muriel is in the chorus of that show Choose your Exit at the Manhattan. It's absurdly unreasonable, but we both feel that that fact might increase Uncle Alexander's natural tendency to kick like a steer."

I saw what he meant. Goodness knows there was fuss enough in our family when I tried to marry into musical comedy a few years ago. And the recollection of my Aunt Agatha's
attitude in the matter of Gussie and the vaudeville girl was still fresh in my mind. I don't know why it is--one of these psychology sharps could explain it, I suppose--but uncles and aunts, as a class, are always dead against the drama, legitimate or otherwise. They
don't seem able to stick it at any price.

But Jeeves had a solution, of course.

"I fancy it would be a simple matter, sir, to find some impecunious author who would be glad to do the actual composition of the volume for a small fee. It is only necessary that the young lady's name should appear on the title page."

"That's true," said Corky. "Sam Patterson would do it for a hundred dollars. He writes a novelette, three short stories, and ten thousand words of a serial for one of the all-fiction
magazines under different names every month. A little thing like this would be nothing to him. I'll get after him right away."

"Fine!"

"Will that be all, sir?" said Jeeves. "Very good, sir. Thank you, sir."

I always used to think that publishers had to be devilish intelligent fellows, loaded down with the grey matter; but I've got their number now. All a publisher has to do is to write
cheques at intervals, while a lot of deserving and industrious chappies rally round and do the real work. I know, because I've been one myself. I simply sat tight in the old apartment with a fountain-pen, and in due season a topping, shiny book came along.

I happened to be down at Corky's place when the first copies of The Children's Book of American Birds bobbed up. Muriel Singer was there, and we were talking of things in
general when there was a bang at the door and the parcel was delivered.

It was certainly some book. It had a red cover with a fowl of some species on it, and underneath the girl's name in gold letters. I opened a copy at random.

"Often of a spring morning," it said at the top of page twenty-one, "as you wander through the fields, you will hear the sweet-toned, carelessly flowing warble of the purple finch linnet. When you are older you must read all about him in Mr. Alexander Worple's
wonderful book--American Birds."

You see. A boost for the uncle right away. And only a few pages later there he was in the limelight again in connection with the yellow-billed cuckoo. It was great stuff. The
more I read, the more I admired the chap who had written it and Jeeves's genius in putting us on to the wheeze. I didn't see how the uncle could fail to drop. You can't call a chap the world's greatest authority on the yellow-billed cuckoo without rousing a certain disposition towards chumminess in him.

"It's a cert!" I said.

"An absolute cinch!" said Corky.

And a day or two later he meandered up the Avenue to my apartment to tell me that all was well. The uncle had written Muriel a letter so dripping with the milk of human kindness that if he hadn't known Mr. Worple's handwriting Corky would have refused to believe him the author of it. Any time it suited Miss Singer to call, said the uncle, he
would be delighted to make her acquaintance.

Shortly after this I had to go out of town. Divers sound sportsmen had invited me to pay visits to their country places, and it wasn't for several months that I settled down in the
city again. I had been wondering a lot, of course, about Corky, whether it all turned out right, and so forth, and my first evening in New York, happening to pop into a quiet sort of little restaurant which I go to when I don't feel inclined for the bright lights, I found
Muriel Singer there, sitting by herself at a table near the door. Corky, I took it, was out telephoning. I went up and passed the time of day.

"Well, well, well, what?" I said.

"Why, Mr. Wooster! How do you do?"

"Corky around?"

"I beg your pardon?"

"You're waiting for Corky, aren't you?"

"Oh, I didn't understand. No, I'm not waiting for him."

It seemed to roe that there was a sort of something in her voice, a kind of thingummy, you know.

"I say, you haven't had a row with Corky, have you?"

"A row?"

"A spat, don't you know--little misunderstanding--faults on both sides--er--and all that sort of thing."

"Why, whatever makes you think that?"

"Oh, well, as it were, what? What I mean is--I thought you usually dined with him before you went to the theatre."

"I've left the stage now."

Suddenly the whole thing dawned on me. I had forgotten what a long time I had been away.

"Why, of course, I see now! You're married!"

"Yes."

"How perfectly topping! I wish you all kinds of happiness."

"Thank you, so much. Oh Alexander," she said, looking past me, "this is a friend of mine--Mr. Wooster."

I spun round. A chappie with a lot of stiff grey hair and a red sort of healthy face was standing there. Rather a formidable Johnnie, he looked, though quite peaceful at the moment.

"I want you to meet my husband, Mr. Wooster. Mr. Wooster is a friend of Bruce's, Alexander."

The old boy grasped my hand warmly, and that was all that kept me from hitting the floor in a heap. The place was rocking. Absolutely.

"So you know my nephew, Mr. Wooster," I heard him say. "I wish you would try to knock a little sense into him and make him quit this playing at painting. But I have an idea that
he is steadying down. I noticed it first that night he came to dinner with us, my dear, to be introduced to you. He seemed altogether quieter and more serious. Something seemed to have sobered him. Perhaps you will give us the pleasure of your company at dinner to-night, Mr. Wooster? Or have you dined?"

I said I had. What I needed then was air, not dinner. I felt that I wanted to get into the open and think this thing out.

When I reached my apartment I heard Jeeves moving about in his lair. I called him.

"Jeeves," I said, "now is the time for all good men to come to the aid of the party. A stiff b.-and-s. first of all, and then I've a bit of news for you."

He came back with a tray and a long glass.

"Better have one yourself, Jeeves. You'll need it."

"Later on, perhaps, thank you, sir."

"All right. Please yourself. But you're going to get a shock. You remember my friend, Mr. Corcoran?"

"Yes, sir."

"And the girl who was to slide gracefully into his uncle's esteem by writing the book on birds?"

"Perfectly, sir."

"Well, she's slid. She's married the uncle."

He took it without blinking. You can't rattle Jeeves.

"That was always a development to be feared, sir."

"You don't mean to tell me that you were expecting it?"

"It crossed my mind as a possibility."

"Did it, by Jove! Well, I think, you might have warned us!"

"I hardly liked to take the liberty, sir."

Of course, as I saw after I had had a bite to eat and was in a calmer frame of mind, what had happened wasn't my fault, if you come down to it. I couldn't be expected to foresee that the scheme, in itself a cracker-jack, would skid into the ditch as it had done; but all the same I'm bound to admit that I didn't relish the idea of meeting Corky again until time, the great healer, had been able to get in a bit of soothing work. I cut Washington Square out absolutely for the next few months. I gave it the complete missin-baulk. And then, just when I was beginning to think I might safely pop down in that direction and gather up the dropped threads, so to speak, time, instead of working the healing wheeze, went and pulled the most awful bone and put the lid on it. Opening the paper one morning, I read that Mrs. Alexander Worple had presented her husband with a son and heir.

I was so darned sorry for poor old Corky that I hadn't the heart to touch my breakfast. I told Jeeves to drink it himself. I was bowled over. Absolutely. It was the limit. I hardly knew what to do. I wanted, of course, to rush down to Washington Square and grip the poor blighter silently by the hand; and then, thinking it over, I hadn't the nerve.
Absent treatment seemed the touch. I gave it him in waves.

But after a month or so I began to hesitate again. It struck me that it was playing it a bit low-down on the poor chap, avoiding him like this just when he probably wanted his pals to surge round him most. I pictured him sitting in his lonely studio with no company
but his bitter thoughts, and the pathos of it got me to such an extent that I bounded straight into a taxi and told the driver to go all out for the studio.

I rushed in, and there was Corky, hunched up at the easel, painting away, while on the model throne sat a severe-looking female of middle age, holding a baby.

A fellow has to be ready for that sort of thing.

"Oh, ah!" I said, and started to back out.

Corky looked over his shoulder.

"Halloa, Bertie. Don't go. We're just finishing for the day. That will be all this afternoon," he said to the nurse, who got up with the baby and decanted it into a perambulator which was standing in the fairway.

"At the same hour to-morrow, Mr. Corcoran?"

"Yes, please."

"Good afternoon."

"Good afternoon."

Corky stood there, looking at the door, and then he turned to me and began to get it off his chest. Fortunately, he seemed to take it for granted that I knew all about what had happened, so it wasn't as awkward as it might have been.

"It's my uncle's idea," he said. "Muriel doesn't know about it yet. The portrait's to be a surprise for her on her birthday. The nurse takes the kid out ostensibly to get a breather, and they beat it down here. If you want an instance of the irony of fate, Bertie, get acquainted with this. Here's the first commission I have ever had to paint a portrait, and
the sitter is that human poached egg that has butted in and bounced me out of my inheritance. Can you beat it! I call it rubbing the thing in to expect me to spend my afternoons gazing into the ugly face of a little brat who to all intents and purposes has hit me behind the ear with a blackjack and swiped all I possess. I can't refuse to paint the portrait because if I did my uncle would stop my allowance; yet every time I look up and catch that kid's vacant eye, I suffer agonies. I tell you, Bertie, sometimes when he
gives me a patronizing glance and then turns away and is sick, as if it revolted him to look at me, I come within an ace of occupying the entire front page of the evening papers as the latest murder sensation. There are moments when I can almost see the
headlines: 'Promising Young Artist Beans Baby With Axe.'"

I patted his shoulder silently. My sympathy for the poor old scout was too deep for words.

I kept away from the studio for some time after that, because it didn't seem right to me to intrude on the poor chappie's sorrow. Besides, I'm bound to say that nurse intimidated me. She reminded me so infernally of Aunt Agatha. She was the same gimlet-eyed type.

But one afternoon Corky called me on the 'phone.

"Bertie."

"Halloa?"

"Are you doing anything this afternoon?"

"Nothing special."

"You couldn't come down here, could you?"

"What's the trouble? Anything up?"

"I've finished the portrait."

"Good boy! Stout work!"

"Yes." His voice sounded rather doubtful. "The fact is, Bertie, it doesn't look quite right to me. There's something about it--My uncle's coming in half an hour to inspect it, and--I don't know why it is, but I kind of feel I'd like your moral support!"

I began to see that I was letting myself in for something. The sympathetic co-operation of Jeeves seemed to me to be indicated.

"You think he'll cut up rough?"

"He may."

I threw my mind back to the red-faced chappie I had met at the restaurant, and tried to picture him cutting up rough. It was only too easy. I spoke to Corky firmly on the telephone.

"I'll come," I said.

"Good!"

"But only if I may bring Jeeves!"

"Why Jeeves? What's Jeeves got to do with it? Who wants Jeeves? Jeeves is the fool who suggested the scheme that has led----"

"Listen, Corky, old top! If you think I am going to face that uncle of yours without
Jeeves's support, you're mistaken. I'd sooner go into a den of wild beasts and bite a lion on the back of the neck."

"Oh, all right," said Corky. Not cordially, but he said it; so I rang for Jeeves, and explained the situation.

"Very good, sir," said Jeeves.

That's the sort of chap he is. You can't rattle him.

We found Corky near the door, looking at the picture, with one hand up in a defensive sort of way, as if he thought it might swing on him.

"Stand right where you are, Bertie," he said, without moving. "Now, tell me honestly, how does it strike you?"

The light from the big window fell right on the picture. I took a good look at it. Then I shifted a bit nearer and took another look. Then I went back to where I had been at first, because it hadn't seemed quite so bad from there.

"Well?" said Corky, anxiously.

I hesitated a bit.

"Of course, old man, I only saw the kid once, and then only for a moment, but--but it was an ugly sort of kid, wasn't it, if I remember rightly?"

"As ugly as that?"

I looked again, and honesty compelled me to be frank.

"I don't see how it could have been, old chap."

Poor old Corky ran his fingers through his hair in a temperamental sort of way. He groaned.

"You're right quite, Bertie. Something's gone wrong with the darned thing. My private impression is that, without knowing it, I've worked that stunt that Sargent and those fellows pull--painting the soul of the sitter. I've got through the mere outward appearance, and have put the child's soul on canvas."

"But could a child of that age have a soul like that? I don't see how he could have managed it in the time. What do you think, Jeeves?"

"I doubt it, sir."

"It--it sorts of leers at you, doesn't it?"

"You've noticed that, too?" said Corky.

"I don't see how one could help noticing."

"All I tried to do was to give the little brute a cheerful expression. But, as it worked out, he looks positively dissipated."

"Just what I was going to suggest, old man. He looks as if he were in the middle of a colossal spree, and enjoying every minute of it. Don't you think so, Jeeves?"

"He has a decidedly inebriated air, sir."

Corky was starting to say something when the door opened, and the uncle came in. For about three seconds all was joy, jollity, and goodwill. The old boy shook hands with me, slapped Corky on the back, said that he didn't think he had ever seen such a fine
day, and whacked his leg with his stick. Jeeves had projected himself into the background, and he didn't notice him.

"Well, Bruce, my boy; so the portrait is really finished, is it--really finished? Well, bring it out. Let's have a look at it. This will be a wonderful surprise for your aunt. Where is it? Let's----"

And then he got it--suddenly, when he wasn't set for the punch; and he rocked back on his heels.

"Oosh!" he exclaimed. And for perhaps a minute there was one of the scaliest silences I've ever run up against.

"Is this a practical joke?" he said at last, in a way that set about sixteen draughts cutting through the room at once.

I thought it was up to me to rally round old Corky.

"You want to stand a bit farther away from it," I said.

"You're perfectly right!" he snorted. "I do! I want to stand so far away from it that I can't see the thing with a telescope!" He turned on Corky like an untamed tiger of the jungle who has just located a chunk of meat. "And this--this--is what you have been wasting
your time and my money for all these years! A painter! I wouldn't let you paint a house of mine! I gave you this commission, thinking that you were a competent worker, and this--this--this extract from a comic coloured supplement is the result!" He swung
towards the door, lashing his tail and growling to himself. "This ends it! If you wish to continue this foolery of pretending to be an artist because you want an excuse for idleness, please yourself. But let me tell you this. Unless you report at my office on
Monday morning, prepared to abandon all this idiocy and start in at the bottom of the business to work your way up, as you should have done half a dozen years ago, not another cent--not another cent--not another--Boosh!"
Then the door closed, and he was no longer with us. And I crawled out of the bombproof shelter.

"Corky, old top!" I whispered faintly.

Corky was standing staring at the picture. His face was set. There was a hunted look in his eye.

"Well, that finishes it!" he muttered brokenly.

"What are you going to do?"

"Do? What can I do? I can't stick on here if he cuts off supplies. You heard what he said. I shall have to go to the office on Monday."

I couldn't think of a thing to say. I knew exactly how he felt about the office. I don't know when I've been so infernally uncomfortable. It was like hanging round trying to make conversation to a pal who's just been sentenced to twenty years in quod.

And then a soothing voice broke the silence.

"If I might make a suggestion, sir!"

It was Jeeves. He had slid from the shadows and was gazing gravely at the picture. Upon my word, I can't give you a better idea of the shattering effect of Corky's uncle Alexander when in action than by saying that he had absolutely made me forget for the
moment that Jeeves was there.

"I wonder if I have ever happened to mention to you, sir, a Mr. Digby Thistleton, with whom I was once in service? Perhaps you have met him? He was a financier. He is now Lord Bridgnorth. It was a favourite saying of his that there is always a way. The
first time I heard him use the expression was after the failure of a patent depilatory which he promoted."

"Jeeves," I said, "what on earth are you talking about?"

"I mentioned Mr. Thistleton, sir, because his was in some respects a parallel case to the present one. His depilatory failed, but he did not despair. He put it on the market
again under the name of Hair-o, guaranteed to produce a full crop of hair in a few months. It was advertised, if you remember, sir, by a humorous picture of a billiard-ball, before and after taking, and made such a substantial fortune that Mr. Thistleton was soon afterwards elevated to the peerage for services to his Party. It seems to me that, if Mr. Corcoran looks into the matter, he will find, like Mr. Thistleton, that there is always
a way. Mr. Worple himself suggested the solution of the difficulty. In the heat of the moment he compared the portrait to an extract from a coloured comic supplement. I consider the suggestion a very valuable one, sir. Mr. Corcoran's portrait may not have
pleased Mr. Worple as a likeness of his only child, but I have no doubt that editors would gladly consider it as a foundation for a series of humorous drawings. If Mr. Corcoran will allow me to make the suggestion, his talent has always been for the humorous. There is something about this picture--something bold and vigorous, which arrests the attention. I feel sure it would be highly popular."

Corky was glaring at the picture, and making a sort of dry, sucking noise with his mouth. He seemed completely overwrought.

And then suddenly he began to laugh in a wild way.

"Corky, old man!" I said, massaging him tenderly. I feared the poor blighter was hysterical.

He began to stagger about all over the floor.

"He's right! The man's absolutely right! Jeeves, you're a life-saver! You've hit on the greatest idea of the age! Report at the office on Monday! Start at the bottom of the business! I'll buy the business if I feel like it. I know the man who runs the comic section of the Sunday Star. He'll eat this thing. He was telling me only the other day how hard it was to get a good new series. He'll give me anything I ask for a real winner like this. I've got a gold-mine. Where's my hat? I've got an income for life! Where's that confounded hat? Lend me a fiver, Bertie. I want to take a taxi down to Park Row!"

Jeeves smiled paternally. Or, rather, he had a kind of paternal muscular spasm about the mouth, which is the nearest he ever gets to smiling.

"If I might make the suggestion, Mr. Corcoran--for a title of the series which you have in mind--'The Adventures of Baby Blobbs.'"

Corky and I looked at the picture, then at each other in an awed way. Jeeves was right. There could be no other title.

"Jeeves," I said. It was a few weeks later, and I had just finished looking at the comic section of the Sunday Star. "I'm an optimist. I always have been. The older I get, the more I agree with Shakespeare and those poet Johnnies about it always being darkest
before the dawn and there's a silver lining and what you lose on the swings you make up on the roundabouts. Look at Mr. Corcoran, for instance. There was a fellow, one would have said, clear up to the eyebrows in the soup. To all appearances he had got
it right in the neck. Yet look at him now. Have you seen these pictures?"

"I took the liberty of glancing at them before bringing them to you, sir. Extremely diverting."

"They have made a big hit, you know."

"I anticipated it, sir."

I leaned back against the pillows.

"You know, Jeeves, you're a genius. You ought to be drawing a commission on these things."

"I have nothing to complain of in that respect, sir. Mr. Corcoran has been most generous. I am putting out the brown suit, sir."

"No, I think I'll wear the blue with the faint red stripe."

"Not the blue with the faint red stripe, sir."

"But I rather fancy myself in it."

"Not the blue with the faint red stripe, sir."

"Oh, all right, have it your own way."

"Very good, sir. Thank you, sir."

Of course, I know it's as bad as being henpecked; but then Jeeves is always right.

You've got to consider that, you know. What?

Published in the US Saturday Evening Post, February 5, 1916.