Anne of Green Gables /Chapter X
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Kapitel 10 Annes Entschuldigung


Über die Angelegenheit dieses Abends teilte Marilla Matthew nichts mit; als Anne auch noch am nächsten Morgen Störrigkeit bewies, musste eine Erklärung für ihre Abwesenheit vom Frühstückstisch her. Marilla erzählte Matthew die ganze Geschichte und gab sich Mühe, ihn mit einem passenden Gefühl für die Ungeheuerlichkeit von Annes Benehmen zu beeindrucken.

"Gut, dass Rachel Lynde runtergeputzt wurde; sie ist einfach ein aufdringliches, altes Schwatzweib", war Matthews tröstende Erwiderung.

"Matthew Cuthbert, ich bin von dir überrascht. Du weißt, dass Annes Verhalten schrecklich war, und doch schlägst du dich auf ihre Seite! Ich vermute, das Nächste, was du sagen wirst, ist, dass sie überhaupt nicht bestraft werden sollte."

" Nun jetzt- nein- nicht genau", sagte Matthew unsicher. "Ich meine, sie sollte ein bisschen bestraft werden. Aber sei nicht zu streng zu ihr, Marilla. Erinnere dich, sie hat nie jemanden gehabt, ihr das Richtige beizubringen. Du wirst- du wirst ihr etwas zu essen geben, nicht wahr?"

Wann hast du jemals gehört, dass ich Menschen gutes Benehmen durch Hungern beigebracht habe? fragte Marilla entrüstet nach. "Sie wird ihre Mahlzeiten regelmäßig bekommen, und ich werde sie ihr persönlich bringen. Aber sie wird oben bleiben, bis sie gewillt ist, sich bei Mrs. Lynde zu entschuldigen, und das ist endgültig, Matthew."

Frühstück, Mittag- und Abendessen waren sehr stille Mahlzeiten, da Anne immer noch verstockt blieb. Nach jeder Mahlzeit trug Marilla ein gut gefülltes Tablett zum Ostgiebel und brachte es später, ohne erkennbar geleert zu sein, herunter. Matthew betrachtete seine letzte Rückkehr mit beunruhigendem Blick. Hatte Anne überhaupt etwas gegessen?

Als Marilla an diesem Abend hinausging, um die Kühe von der hinteren Weide zu holen, schlüpfte Matthew, der sich zwischen den Ställen herumtrieb und abwartete, mit dem Auftreten eines Diebes ins Haus und schlich nach oben. Normalerweise bewegte Matthew sich zwischen Küche und dem kleinen Schlafraum neben dem Flur, wo er schlief; ab und zu wagte er sich mit ungutem Gefühl in den Salon oder ins Wohnzimmer, wenn der Minister zum Tee kam. Aber er war in seinem eigenen Haus seit dem Frühling nie oben gewesen, als er Marilla half, das Gästezimmer zu tapezieren, und das war vor vier Jahren.

Er ging auf Zehenspitzen dem Flur entlang und stand für mehrere Minuten draußen vor der Tür des Ostgiebels, bevor er den Mut aufbrachte, anzuklopfen und dann die Tür zu öffnen um hereinzuschauen.

Anne saß auf dem gelben Stuhl am Fenster und starrte traurig in den Garten. Sehr klein und unglücklich schaute sie aus, und Matthews Herz quälte ihn. Er schloss sanft die Tür und ging auf Zehenspitzen zu ihr hin.

"Anne, " wisperte er, als ob er Angst hätte, überhört zu werden, " Wie läuft's denn so, Anne?"

Anne lächelte matt.

" Recht gut. Ich stelle mir eine Menge vor und das hilft , die Zeit zu vertreiben. Natürlich ist es ziemlich einsam. Aber dann, ich muss mich dran gewöhnen."

Anne lächelte wieder, mutig die langen Jahre der Einzelhaft vor sich sehend.

Matthew besann sich darauf, dass er ohne Zeitverlust sagen muss, was er zu sagen hatte, falls Marilla zu früh zurückkehren würde.

"Also Anne, denkst du nicht, du solltest es besser tun und es hinter dich bringen?" flüsterte er. "Es muss früher oder später gemacht werden, weißt du, denn Marilla ist eine schrecklich entschlossene Frau - schrecklich entschlossen, Anne. Mach es gleich, sage ich und du hat es hinter dir."

"Meinst du, sich bei Mrs. Lynde entschuldigen?"

"Ja- sich entschuldigen- das ist das passende Wort", sagte Matthew eifrig. "Es einfach glätten, sozusagen. Darauf wollte ich hinaus."

"Ich nehme an, ich könnte es tun, um dir zu gefallen", sagte Anne nachdenklich. "Es wäre wahr genug zu sagen, es tut mir leid, denn es tut mir jetzt leid. Es tat mir gestern Abend kein bisschen leid. Ich war eindeutig die ganze Zeit wütend und ich blieb die ganze Nacht wütend. Ich weiß, dass ich das war, weil ich dreimal aufgewacht bin und jedes Mal einfach stinksauer war. Aber heute Morgen war alles vorbei. Ich war nicht mehr in Wut- und es blieb auch eine furchtbare Art von Schwäche zurück. Ich schämte mich so sehr für mich selbst. Aber ich konnte mir einfach nicht vorstellen, zu Mrs. Lynde zu gehen und es so zu sagen. Es wäre so erniedrigend. Ich habe mir vorgenommen, dass ich für immer hier eingesperrt bleiben würde, anstatt das zu tun. Aber dennoch - ich würde alles für dich tun - wenn du es wirklich möchtest" "Na dann, sicher möchte ich das. Es ist schrecklich einsam unten ohne dich. "Geh und bring es ins Reine, das macht ein braves Mädchen."

"Na schön", sagte Anne resigniert. "Ich werde Marilla sagen, sobald sie kommt, dass ich bereut habe."

"Das ist recht - das ist recht, Anne. Aber sag Marilla nicht, dass ich etwas darüber gesagt habe. Sie könnte denken, dass ich meinen Senf dazu gebe und ich habe versprochen, das nicht zu tun."

" Keine zehn Pferde können mir das Geheimnis entreißen" versprach Anne feierlich. "Wie können schon zehn Pferde einem Menschen ein Geheimnis entreißen?"

Aber Matthew war gegangen, erschrocken von seinem eigenen Erfolg. Er floh hastig zur entferntesten Ecke der Pferdekoppel, damit Marilla nicht vermuten konnte, wozu er oben gewesen war. Marilla selbst war bei ihrer Rückkehr ins Haus angenehm überrascht, als sie hörte, wie über dem Geländer eine wehleidige Stimme "Marilla" rief.

"Und, was ist los?" sagte sie und ging in den Hausflur.

"Es tut mir leid, dass ich die Beherrschung verloren habe und gemeine Sachen gesagt habe, und ich bin bereit, es Mrs. Lynde zu sagen."

"Sehr gut." Marillas Knappheit ließ ihre Erleichterung nicht erkennen. Sie hatte sich gefragt, was sie um Himmels willen tun sollte, wenn Anne nicht nachgab. "Ich bringe dich nach dem Melken runter."

Nach dem Melken sehen wir Marilla und Anne, wie sie die Gasse hinuntergehen, die Erstgenannte aufrecht und triumphierend, die Letzgenannte schlaff und niedergeschlagen. Doch nach der Hälfte des Weges nach unten verschwand Annes Niedergeschlagenheit wie durch Zauberei. Sie erhob ihren Kopf und schritt leichtfüßig voran, ihren Blick auf den Abendhimmel gerichtet mit einer Ausstrahlung von unterdrückter, überschwänglicher Freude. Marilla bemerkte den Wechsel missbilligend. Das war nicht kleinlaut, reumütig, wie es sich ziemte, um vor die beleidigte Mrs. Lynde zu treten.

"Woran denkst du, Anne?" fragte sie scharf.

"Ich denke mir aus, was ich zu Mrs. Lynde sagen muss," antwortete Anne versonnen.

Das war zufriedenstellend - oder hätte es sein können. Aber Marilla konnte sich des Gefühls nicht erwehren, dass etwas bei ihrer Bestrafungsidee schief lief. Anne hatte keinen Grund, so gespannt und strahlend zu sein.

Gespannt und strahlend machte Anne weiter bis sie in der unmittelbaren Gegenwart von Mrs. Lynde waren, die an ihrem Küchenfenster saß und strickte. Dann verschwand das Strahlen. Klägliche Reue zeigte sich in jedem Gesichtszug. Bevor ein Wort gesprochen wurde, ging Anne plötzlich vor der erstaunten Mrs. Rachel auf die Knie und streckte flehentlich ihre Hände aus.

" Oh, Mrs. Lynde, es tut mir so furchtbar leid," sagte sie mit einem Zittern in ihrer Stimme. "Ich könnte niemals mein ganzes Bedauern zum Ausdruck bringen, nein, nicht mal, wenn ich ein ganzes Wörterbuch verbraucht hätte. Sie müssen sich es nur vorstellen. Ich habe mich Ihnen gegenüber schrecklich benommen - und ich habe den lieben Freunden, Matthew und Marilla, die mich auf Green Gable bleiben ließen, obwohl ich kein Junge bin, Schande bereitet. Ich bin ein entsetzlich schlechtes und undankbares Mädchen und ich verdiene es, bestraft und für immer von anständigen Leuten verstoßen zu werden. Es war sehr unartig von mir in Zorn zu geraten, weil Sie mir die Wahrheit sagten. Es war die Wahrheit; jedes Wort, das Sie sagten, war richtig. Mein Haar ist rot und ich bin sommersprossig und spindeldürr und hässlich. Was ich Ihnen sagte, war ebenfalls wahr, aber ich hätte es nicht sagen sollen. Oh, Mrs. Lynde, bitte, bitte verzeihen Sie mir. Wenn Sie ablehnen, wird das ein lebenslanges Unglück für mich sein. Sie würden nicht gerne einem armen, kleinen Waisenkind lebenslangen Kummer zufügen, selbst, wenn es einen schrecklichen Charakter hat, oder? Oh, ich bin sicher, Sie würden es nicht. Bitte sagen Sie, dass Sie mir verzeihen, Mrs. Lynde."

Anne verschränkte ihre Hände, beugte ihren Kopf in Erwartung des Urteilsspruchs.

Ihre Aufrichtigkeit war nicht zu überhören - sie klang bei jedem Ton ihrer Stimme mit. Sowohl Marilla als auch Mrs. Lynde erkannten ihren unverwechselbaren Klang. Aber erstere begriff mit Bestürzung, dass Anne ihr Tal der Demütigung tatsächlich genoss - und schwelgte geradezu in der Gründlichkeit ihrer Erniedrigung. Wo war die heilsame Strafe, auf die sie, Marilla, sich etwas eingebildet hatte? Anne hatte daraus eine Art von positivem Genuss gemacht.

Die gute Mrs. Lynde, nicht (gerade) mit Wahrnehmungsvermögen belastet, hatte das nicht gesehen Sie merkte nur, dass Anne sich sehr sorgfältig entschuldigt hatte, und jeder Unmut verschwand aus ihrem freundlichen, wenn auch ziemlich übereifrigen Herzen.

"Da, da, steh' auf, Kind", sagte sie herzlich. "Natürlich vergebe ich dir. Ich vermute, ich war doch ein wenig zu hart zu dir. Aber ich bin eine solch' offene Person. Du darfst dich nicht daran stören, das möchte ich. Es kann nicht geleugnet werden, dein Haar ist fürchterlich rot; aber ich kannte einmal ein Mädchen- ich ging mit ihr zur Schule- dessen Haare waren, als sie jung war, jeden Zentimeter so rot wie deine, aber als sie älter wurde, dunkelte es zu einem wirklich hübschen Rotbraun nach. Ich wäre kein bisschen überrascht, wenn deines es auch täte, nicht ein bisschen."

"Oh, Mrs. Lynde!" Anne nahm einen langen Atemzug, als sie wieder aufstand. " Sie haben mir Hoffnung gemacht. Ich werde immer spüren, dass Sie eine Wohltäterin sind. Oh, ich könnte alles ertragen, wenn ich nur denke, mein Haar würde ein hübsches Rotbraun sein, wenn ich erwachsen werde. Es wäre so viel einfacher, gut zu sein, wenn das Haar ein hübsches Rotbraun wäre, denken Sie nicht? Und darf ich nun in Ihren Garten gehen und auf dieser Bank unter den Apfelbäumen sitzen, während Sie und Marilla sich unterhalten? Dort draußen gibt es viel mehr Möglichkeiten für die Fantasie."

"Recht so, ja, lauf schon, Kind. Und du kannst, wenn du magst, einen Strauß von diesen weißen Junililien da drüben an der Ecke pflücken."

Als sich die Tür hinter Anne schloss, stand Mrs. Lynde flott auf, um eine Lampe anzuzünden.

" Sie ist ein richtig seltsames, kleines Ding. Nehmen Sie diesen Stuhl, Marilla; er ist bequemer als der, den Sie haben; ich behalte ihn nur, damit der angeheuerte Bengel darauf sitzen kann. Ja, sie ist gewiss ein seltsames Kind, aber da ist trotzdem so etwas Gewinnendes an ihr. Ich fühle mich über ihre Inobhutnahme durch dich und Matthew nicht mehr so überrascht, wie anfangs - und es tut mir auch nicht mehr leid für Euch. Sie könnte sich gut entwickeln. Natürlich, sie hat eine merkwürdige Art sich auszudrücken - ein bisschen zu - na ja, irgendwie zu eindringlich, nicht wahr; aber sie wird das wahrscheinlich überwinden, nun, wo sie unter zivilisierten Leuten lebt. Und dann ist ihr Gemüt ziemlich hitzig, vermute ich; aber es gibt einen Trost, ein Kind, das jähzornig ist, nur aufflammt und abkühlt, ist wahrscheinlich niemals gerissen oder hinterlistig. Bewahre mich vor einem hinterhältigen Kind, das ist was. Alles in allem, Marilla, mag ich sie irgendwie."

Als Marilla nach Hause ging, kam Anne mit einem Bündel weißer Narzissen in ihren Händen aus dem angenehmen Zwielicht des Obstgartens.

"Ich habe mich ziemlich gut entschuldigt, nicht wahr?" sagte sie stolz, als sie den Weg hinuntergingen. "Ich dachte, da ich es ja tun musste, könnte ich es auch gründlich tun."

"Du machtest es gründlich, also genug jetzt", war Marillas Kommentar. Marilla war erschrocken , sich selbst geneigt zu fühlen , über diese Erinnerung zu lachen. Sie hatte auch das unbehagliche Gefühl, dass sie Anne dafür ausschimpfen sollte, sich so gut entschuldigt zu haben; aber andererseits war das lächerlich! Sie schloß einen Kompromiss mit ihrem Gewissen, indem sie streng sagte:" Ich hoffe, du wirst keine Veranlassung haben, noch mehr solcher Entschuldigungen zu machen. Ich hoffe, du wirst versuchen, deine Stimmung nun zu kontrollieren, Anne."

"Das wäre nicht so schwer, wenn die Leute mich nicht wegen meines Aussehens hänseln würden," sagte Anne mit einem Seufzer. Ich ärgere mich nicht über andere Sachen; aber ich bin es so leid, wegen meines Haares gehänselt zu werden und das bringt mich einfach richtig zur Weißglut. Glaubst du, dass mein Haar wirklich ein ansehnliches Rotbraun wird, wenn ich groß bin?"

"Du solltest nicht so viel über dein Aussehen nachdenken, Anne. Ich fürchte, du bist ein sehr eitles kleines Mädchen. "" Wie kann ich eitel sein, wenn ich weiß, dass ich unscheinbar bin? " protestierte Anne. "Ich liebe schöne Dinge; und ich hasse es, in den Spiegel zu schauen und etwas zu sehen, das nicht schön ist. Es macht mich so traurig - genau, wie ich fühle, wenn ich irgendeine hässliche Sache ansehe. Ich bemitleide es, weil es nicht schön ist."

"Schön ist, wer schön handelt", zitierte Marilla.

"Ich habe mir das schon früher gesagt, aber ich habe meine Zweifel darüber", bemerkte Anne skeptisch und schnupperte an ihren Narzissen. "Oh, sind diese Blumen nicht goldig? Es war nett von Mrs. Lynde, sie mir zu geben. Ich nehme es Mrs. Lynde nicht mehr übel. Es gibt dir ein schönes, angenehmes Gefühl, wenn du dich entschuldigst und dir vergeben wird, nicht wahr? Sind die Sterne nicht strahlend heute Nacht? Wenn du auf einem Stern leben könntest, welchen würdest du auswählen? Mir gefiele dieser schöne, helle, große da oben, drüben über dem dunklen Hügel."

"Anne, halte bitte deinen Mund", sagte Marilla, völlig erschöpft davon, Annes Gedankenkarussell zu folgen.

Anne sagte nichts mehr, bis sie in ihre eigene Gasse einbogen. Ein kleiner, umherziehender Wind kam ihnen entgegen, beladen mit dem würzigen Geruch taufeuchter, junger Farne. Weit oben in der Dunkelheit schimmerte ein fröhliches Licht durch die Bäume aus der Küche von Green Gables heraus. Anne kam plötzlich nah zu Marilla und schlüpfte mit ihrer Hand in die rauhe Hand der älteren Frau.

" Es ist großartig, nach Hause zu gehen und zu wissen, dass es zu Hause ist, " sagte sie. "Ich liebe Green Gables schon und ich habe niemals vorher irgendeinen Ort geliebt. Kein Ort schien jemals wie ein Zuhause zu sein. Oh, Marilla, ich bin so glücklich. Ich könnte jetzt sofort beten und fände es kein bisschen schwer."

Bei der Berührung dieser dünnen, kleinen Hand in ihrer stieg etwas Warmes und Wohliges in Marillas Herz hoch - vielleicht ein Aufwallen von Mütterlichkeit, die sie vermisst hatte. Die außerordentliche Ungewohntheit und Süße brachte sie durcheinander. Sie beeilte sich, ihre Gefühle wieder unter Kontrolle zu bringen, indem sie eine Moral vermittelte.

"Wenn du ein braves Mädchen bist, wirst du immer glücklich sein, Anne. Und du solltest es niemals schwer finden, deine Gebete zu sprechen."

"Gebete zu sprechen ist nicht genau dasselbe, wie zu beten," sagte Anne nachdenklich. "Aber ich werde mir ausmalen, dass ich der Wind bin, der da oben in den Baumwipfeln hochweht. Wenn ich keine Lust mehr auf Bäume habe, werde ich mir vorstellen, dass ich sachte hier hinunter in die Farne wehe - und dann werde ich über Mrs. Lyndes Garten fliegen und die Blumen zum Tanzen bringen - und dann werde ich in einem großen Sturzflug über das Kleefeld gehen - und dann wehe ich über den See des schimmernden Wassers und kräusele ihn völlig in kleine, glitzernde Wellen. Oh, Wind gibt so viel Spielraum für Fantasie! Deshalb werde ich jetzt nicht mehr reden, Marilla."

"Dafür sei dem Himmel Dank, " schnaubte Marilla in inbrünstiger Erleichterung.
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CHAPTER X. ANNE'S APOLOGY.
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"Matthew Cuthbert, I'm astonished at you.
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You know that Anne's behaviour was dreadful, and yet you take her part!
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I suppose you'll be saying next thing that she oughtn't to be punished at all."
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"Well now—no—not exactly," said Matthew uneasily.
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"I reckon she ought to be punished a little.
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But don't be too hard on her, Marilla.
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Recollect she hasn't ever had any one to teach her right.
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You're—you're going to give her something to eat, aren't you?"
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"When did you ever hear of me starving people into good behaviour?"
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demanded Marilla indignantly.
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"She'll have her meals regular, and I'll carry them up to her myself.
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But she'll stay up there until she's willing to apologize to Mrs. Lynde, and that's final, Matthew."
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Breakfast, dinner, and supper were very silent meals—for Anne still remained obdurate.
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Matthew eyed its last descent with a troubled eye.
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Had Anne eaten anything at all?
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Anne was sitting on the yellow chair by the window, gazing mournfully out into the garden.
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Very small and unhappy she looked, and Matthew's heart smote him.
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He softly closed the door and tiptoed over to her.
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"Anne," he whispered, as if afraid of being overheard, "how are you making it, Anne?"
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Anne smiled wanly.
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"Pretty well.
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I imagine a good deal, and that helps to pass the time.
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Of course, it's rather lonesome.
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But then, I may as well get used to that."
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Anne smiled again, bravely facing the long years of solitary imprisonment before her.
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"Well now, Anne, don't you think you'd better do it and have it over with?"
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he whispered.
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Do it right off, I say, and have it over."
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"Do you mean apologize to Mrs.
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Lynde?"
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"Yes—apologize—that's the very word," said Matthew eagerly.
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"Just smooth it over so to speak.
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That's what I was trying to get at."
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"I suppose I could do it to oblige you," said Anne thoughtfully.
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"It would be true enough to say I am sorry, because I am sorry now.
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I wasn't a bit sorry last night.
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I was mad clear through, and I stayed mad all night.
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I know I did because I woke up three times and I was just furious every time.
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But this morning it was all over.
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I wasn't in a temper any more—and it left a dreadful sort of goneness, too.
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I felt so ashamed of myself.
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But I just couldn't think of going and telling Mrs. Lynde so.
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It would be so humiliating.
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I made up my mind I'd stay shut up here for ever rather than do that.
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But still—I'd do anything for you—if you really want me to—" "Well now, of course I do.
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It's terrible lonesome down-stairs without you.
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Just go and smooth it over—that's a good girl."
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"Very well," said Anne resignedly.
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"I'll tell Marilla as soon as she comes in that I've repented."
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"That's right—that's right, Anne.
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But don't tell Marilla I said anything about it.
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She might think I was putting my oar in and I promised not to do that."
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"Wild horses won't drag the secret from me," promised Anne solemnly.
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"How would wild horses drag a secret from a person anyhow?"
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But Matthew was gone, scared at his own success.
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"Well?"
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she said, going into the hall.
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"I'm sorry I lost my temper and said rude things, and I'm willing to go and tell Mrs. Lynde so."
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"Very well."
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Manila's crispness gave no sign of her relief.
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She had been wondering what under the canopy she should do if Anne did not give in.
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"I'll take you down after milking."
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But half-way down Anne's dejection vanished as if by enchantment.
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Marilla beheld the change disapprovingly.
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"What are you thinking of, Anne?"
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she asked sharply.
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"I'm imagining out what I must say to Mrs. Lynde," answered Anne dreamily.
1 Translations, 3 Upvotes, Last Activity 7 years, 5 months ago
unit 84
This was satisfactory—or should have been so.
1 Translations, 3 Upvotes, Last Activity 7 years, 5 months ago
unit 86
Anne had no business to look so rapt and radiant.
3 Translations, 2 Upvotes, Last Activity 7 years, 5 months ago
unit 88
Then the radiance vanished.
1 Translations, 2 Upvotes, Last Activity 7 years, 5 months ago
unit 89
Mournful penitence appeared on every feature.
1 Translations, 2 Upvotes, Last Activity 7 years, 5 months ago
unit 91
"Oh, Mrs. Lynde, I am so extremely sorry," she said with a quiver in her voice.
1 Translations, 3 Upvotes, Last Activity 7 years, 5 months ago
unit 92
"I could never express all my sorrow, no, not if I used up a whole dictionary.
2 Translations, 3 Upvotes, Last Activity 7 years, 5 months ago
unit 93
You must just imagine it.
1 Translations, 0 Upvotes, Last Activity 7 years, 5 months ago
unit 96
It was very wicked of me to fly into a temper because you told me the truth.
1 Translations, 1 Upvotes, Last Activity 7 years, 5 months ago
unit 97
It was the truth; every word you said was true.
2 Translations, 2 Upvotes, Last Activity 7 years, 5 months ago
unit 98
My hair is red and I'm freckled and skinny and ugly.
1 Translations, 3 Upvotes, Last Activity 7 years, 5 months ago
unit 99
What I said to you was true, too, but I shouldn't have said it.
1 Translations, 3 Upvotes, Last Activity 7 years, 5 months ago
unit 100
Oh, Mrs. Lynde, please, please, forgive me.
1 Translations, 3 Upvotes, Last Activity 7 years, 5 months ago
unit 101
If you refuse it will be a lifelong sorrow to me.
1 Translations, 1 Upvotes, Last Activity 7 years, 5 months ago
unit 103
Oh, I am sure you wouldn't.
1 Translations, 3 Upvotes, Last Activity 7 years, 5 months ago
unit 104
Please say you forgive me, Mrs.
1 Translations, 3 Upvotes, Last Activity 7 years, 5 months ago
unit 105
Lynde."
1 Translations, 3 Upvotes, Last Activity 7 years, 5 months ago
unit 106
Anne clasped her hands together, bowed her head, and waited for the word of judgment.
1 Translations, 3 Upvotes, Last Activity 7 years, 5 months ago
unit 107
There was no mistaking her sincerity—it breathed in every tone of her voice.
1 Translations, 3 Upvotes, Last Activity 7 years, 5 months ago
unit 108
Both Marilla and Mrs. Lynde recognized its unmistakable ring.
2 Translations, 1 Upvotes, Last Activity 7 years, 5 months ago
unit 110
Where was the wholesome punishment upon which she, Marilla, had plumed herself?
2 Translations, 2 Upvotes, Last Activity 7 years, 5 months ago
unit 111
Anne had turned it into a species of positive pleasure.
2 Translations, 1 Upvotes, Last Activity 7 years, 5 months ago
unit 112
Good Mrs. Lynde, not being overburdened with perception, did not see this.
4 Translations, 1 Upvotes, Last Activity 7 years, 5 months ago
unit 114
"There, there, get up, child," she said heartily.
1 Translations, 0 Upvotes, Last Activity 7 years, 5 months ago
unit 115
"Of course I forgive you.
1 Translations, 1 Upvotes, Last Activity 7 years, 5 months ago
unit 116
I guess I was a little too hard on you, anyway.
1 Translations, 1 Upvotes, Last Activity 7 years, 5 months ago
unit 117
But I'm such an outspoken person.
1 Translations, 0 Upvotes, Last Activity 7 years, 5 months ago
unit 118
You just mustn't mind me, that's what.
1 Translations, 0 Upvotes, Last Activity 7 years, 5 months ago
unit 120
I wouldn't be a mite surprised if yours did, too—not a mite."
4 Translations, 3 Upvotes, Last Activity 7 years, 5 months ago
unit 121
"Oh, Mrs.
1 Translations, 1 Upvotes, Last Activity 7 years, 5 months ago
unit 122
Lynde!"
1 Translations, 1 Upvotes, Last Activity 7 years, 5 months ago
unit 123
Anne drew a long breath as she rose to her feet.
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unit 124
"You have given me a hope.
1 Translations, 1 Upvotes, Last Activity 7 years, 5 months ago
unit 125
I shall always feel that you are a benefactor.
1 Translations, 1 Upvotes, Last Activity 7 years, 5 months ago
unit 126
Oh, I could endure anything if I only thought my hair would be a handsome auburn when I grew up.
1 Translations, 0 Upvotes, Last Activity 7 years, 5 months ago
unit 127
It would be so much easier to be good if one's hair was a handsome auburn, don't you think?
1 Translations, 0 Upvotes, Last Activity 7 years, 5 months ago
unit 129
There is so much more scope for imagination out there."
1 Translations, 1 Upvotes, Last Activity 7 years, 5 months ago
unit 130
"Laws, yes, run along, child.
1 Translations, 1 Upvotes, Last Activity 7 years, 5 months ago
unit 131
And you can pick a bouquet of them white June lilies over in the corner if you like."
1 Translations, 1 Upvotes, Last Activity 7 years, 5 months ago
unit 132
As the door closed behind Anne Mrs. Lynde got briskly up to light a lamp.
1 Translations, 0 Upvotes, Last Activity 7 years, 5 months ago
unit 133
"She's a real odd little thing.
1 Translations, 1 Upvotes, Last Activity 7 years, 5 months ago
unit 135
Yes, she certainly is an odd child, but there is something kind of taking about her after all.
2 Translations, 1 Upvotes, Last Activity 7 years, 5 months ago
unit 136
I don't feel so surprised at you and Matthew keeping her as I did—nor so sorry for you, either.
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unit 137
She may turn out all right.
2 Translations, 2 Upvotes, Last Activity 7 years, 5 months ago
unit 140
Preserve me from a sly child, that's what.
1 Translations, 0 Upvotes, Last Activity 7 years, 5 months ago
unit 141
On the whole, Marilla, I kind of like her."
1 Translations, 0 Upvotes, Last Activity 7 years, 5 months ago
unit 143
"I apologized pretty well, didn't I?"
1 Translations, 2 Upvotes, Last Activity 7 years, 5 months ago
unit 144
she said proudly as they went down the lane.
1 Translations, 1 Upvotes, Last Activity 7 years, 5 months ago
unit 145
"I thought since I had to do it I might as well do it thoroughly."
1 Translations, 1 Upvotes, Last Activity 7 years, 5 months ago
unit 146
"You did it thoroughly, all right enough," was Marilla's comment.
1 Translations, 0 Upvotes, Last Activity 7 years, 5 months ago
unit 147
Marilla was dismayed at finding herself inclined to laugh over the recollection.
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unit 150
I hope you'll try to control your temper now, Anne."
1 Translations, 2 Upvotes, Last Activity 7 years, 5 months ago
unit 151
"That wouldn't be so hard if people wouldn't twit me about my looks," said Anne with a sigh.
1 Translations, 1 Upvotes, Last Activity 7 years, 5 months ago
unit 153
Do you suppose my hair will really be a handsome auburn when I grow up?"
1 Translations, 2 Upvotes, Last Activity 7 years, 5 months ago
unit 154
"You shouldn't think so much about your looks, Anne.
1 Translations, 2 Upvotes, Last Activity 7 years, 5 months ago
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I'm afraid you are a very vain little girl," "How can I be vain when I know I'm homely?"
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unit 156
protested Anne.
1 Translations, 2 Upvotes, Last Activity 7 years, 5 months ago
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"I love pretty things; and I hate to look in the glass and see something that isn't pretty.
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unit 158
It makes me feel so sorrowful—just as I feel when I look at any ugly thing.
2 Translations, 2 Upvotes, Last Activity 7 years, 5 months ago
unit 159
I pity it because it isn't beautiful."
2 Translations, 1 Upvotes, Last Activity 7 years, 5 months ago
unit 160
"Handsome is as handsome does," quoted Marilla.
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unit 162
"Oh, aren't these flowers sweet!
1 Translations, 3 Upvotes, Last Activity 7 years, 5 months ago
unit 163
It was lovely of Mrs. Lynde to give them to me.
1 Translations, 3 Upvotes, Last Activity 7 years, 5 months ago
unit 164
I have no hard feelings against Mrs. Lynde now.
1 Translations, 3 Upvotes, Last Activity 7 years, 5 months ago
unit 165
It gives you a lovely, comfortable feeling to apologize and be forgiven, doesn't it?
1 Translations, 3 Upvotes, Last Activity 7 years, 5 months ago
unit 166
Aren't the stars bright to-night?
1 Translations, 3 Upvotes, Last Activity 7 years, 5 months ago
unit 167
If you could live in a star, which one would you pick?
1 Translations, 3 Upvotes, Last Activity 7 years, 5 months ago
unit 168
I'd like that lovely clear big one away over there above that dark hill."
1 Translations, 2 Upvotes, Last Activity 7 years, 5 months ago
unit 170
Anne said no more until they turned into their own lane.
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unit 171
A little gypsy wind came down it to meet them, laden with the spicy perfume of young dew-wet ferns.
2 Translations, 1 Upvotes, Last Activity 7 years, 5 months ago
unit 172
unit 173
Anne suddenly came close to Marilla and slipped her hand into the older woman's hard palm.
1 Translations, 2 Upvotes, Last Activity 7 years, 5 months ago
unit 174
"It's lovely to be going home and know it's home," she said.
1 Translations, 1 Upvotes, Last Activity 7 years, 5 months ago
unit 175
"I love Green Gables already, and I never loved any place before.
1 Translations, 1 Upvotes, Last Activity 7 years, 5 months ago
unit 176
No place ever seemed like home.
2 Translations, 0 Upvotes, Last Activity 7 years, 5 months ago
unit 177
Oh, Marilla, I'm so happy.
1 Translations, 1 Upvotes, Last Activity 7 years, 5 months ago
unit 178
I could pray right now and not find it a bit hard."
1 Translations, 1 Upvotes, Last Activity 7 years, 5 months ago
unit 180
Its very unaccustomedness and sweetness disturbed her.
1 Translations, 0 Upvotes, Last Activity 7 years, 5 months ago
unit 181
She hastened to restore her sensations to their normal calm by inculcating a moral.
3 Translations, 0 Upvotes, Last Activity 7 years, 5 months ago
unit 182
"If you'll be a good girl you'll always be happy, Anne.
2 Translations, 1 Upvotes, Last Activity 7 years, 5 months ago
unit 183
And you should never find it hard to say your prayers."
2 Translations, 1 Upvotes, Last Activity 7 years, 5 months ago
unit 184
"Saying one's prayers isn't exactly the same thing as praying," said Anne meditatively.
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unit 185
"But I'm going to imagine that I'm the wind that is blowing up there in those tree-tops.
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unit 187
Oh, there's so much scope for imagination in a wind!
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unit 188
So I'll not talk any more just now, Marilla."
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unit 189
"Thanks be to goodness for that," breathed Marilla in devout relief.
1 Translations, 0 Upvotes, Last Activity 7 years, 5 months ago

CHAPTER X.

ANNE'S APOLOGY.

Marilla said nothing to Matthew about the affair that evening; but when Anne proved still refractory the next morning an explanation had to be made to account for her absence from the breakfast-table. Marilla told Matthew the whole story, taking pains to impress him with a due sense of the enormity of Anne's behaviour.

"It's a good thing Rachel Lynde got a calling down; she's a meddlesome old gossip," was Matthew's consolatory rejoinder.

"Matthew Cuthbert, I'm astonished at you. You know that Anne's behaviour was dreadful, and yet you take her part! I suppose you'll be saying next thing that she oughtn't to be punished at all."

"Well now—no—not exactly," said Matthew uneasily. "I reckon she ought to be punished a little. But don't be too hard on her, Marilla. Recollect she hasn't ever had any one to teach her right. You're—you're going to give her something to eat, aren't you?"

"When did you ever hear of me starving people into good behaviour?" demanded Marilla indignantly. "She'll have her meals regular, and I'll carry them up to her myself. But she'll stay up there until she's willing to apologize to Mrs. Lynde, and that's final, Matthew."

Breakfast, dinner, and supper were very silent meals—for Anne still remained obdurate. After each meal Marilla carried a well-filled tray to the east gable and brought it down later on not noticeably depleted. Matthew eyed its last descent with a troubled eye. Had Anne eaten anything at all?

When Marilla went out that evening to bring the cows from the back pasture, Matthew, who had been hanging about the barns and watching, slipped into the house with the air of a burglar and crept up-stairs. As a general thing Matthew gravitated between the kitchen and the little bedroom off the hall where he slept; once in a while he ventured uncomfortably into the parlour or sitting-room when the minister came to tea. But he had never been up-stairs in his own house since the spring he helped Marilla paper the spare bedroom, and that was four years ago.

He tiptoed along the hall and stood for several minutes outside the door of the east gable before he summoned courage to tap on it with his fingers and then open the door to peep in.

Anne was sitting on the yellow chair by the window, gazing mournfully out into the garden. Very small and unhappy she looked, and Matthew's heart smote him. He softly closed the door and tiptoed over to her.

"Anne," he whispered, as if afraid of being overheard, "how are you making it, Anne?"

Anne smiled wanly.

"Pretty well. I imagine a good deal, and that helps to pass the time. Of course, it's rather lonesome. But then, I may as well get used to that."

Anne smiled again, bravely facing the long years of solitary imprisonment before her.

Matthew recollected that he must say what he had come to say without loss of time, lest Marilla return prematurely.

"Well now, Anne, don't you think you'd better do it and have it over with?" he whispered. "It'll have to be done sooner or later, you know, for Marilla's a dreadful determined woman—dreadful determined, Anne. Do it right off, I say, and have it over."

"Do you mean apologize to Mrs. Lynde?"

"Yes—apologize—that's the very word," said Matthew eagerly. "Just smooth it over so to speak. That's what I was trying to get at."

"I suppose I could do it to oblige you," said Anne thoughtfully. "It would be true enough to say I am sorry, because I am sorry now. I wasn't a bit sorry last night. I was mad clear through, and I stayed mad all night. I know I did because I woke up three times and I was just furious every time. But this morning it was all over. I wasn't in a temper any more—and it left a dreadful sort of goneness, too. I felt so ashamed of myself. But I just couldn't think of going and telling Mrs. Lynde so. It would be so humiliating. I made up my mind I'd stay shut up here for ever rather than do that. But still—I'd do anything for you—if you really want me to—"

"Well now, of course I do. It's terrible lonesome down-stairs without you. Just go and smooth it over—that's a good girl."

"Very well," said Anne resignedly. "I'll tell Marilla as soon as she comes in that I've repented."

"That's right—that's right, Anne. But don't tell Marilla I said anything about it. She might think I was putting my oar in and I promised not to do that."

"Wild horses won't drag the secret from me," promised Anne solemnly. "How would wild horses drag a secret from a person anyhow?"

But Matthew was gone, scared at his own success. He fled hastily to the remotest corner of the horse pasture lest Marilla should suspect what he had been up to. Marilla herself, upon her return to the house, was agreeably surprised to hear a plaintive voice calling, "Marilla," over the banisters.

"Well?" she said, going into the hall.

"I'm sorry I lost my temper and said rude things, and I'm willing to go and tell Mrs. Lynde so."

"Very well." Manila's crispness gave no sign of her relief. She had been wondering what under the canopy she should do if Anne did not give in. "I'll take you down after milking."

Accordingly, after milking, behold Marilla and Anne walking down the lane, the former erect and triumphant, the latter drooping and dejected. But half-way down Anne's dejection vanished as if by enchantment. She lifted her head and stepped lightly along, her eyes fixed on the sunset sky and an air of subdued exhilaration about her. Marilla beheld the change disapprovingly. This was no meek penitent such as it behooved her to take into the presence of the offended Mrs. Lynde.

"What are you thinking of, Anne?" she asked sharply.

"I'm imagining out what I must say to Mrs. Lynde," answered Anne dreamily.

This was satisfactory—or should have been so. But Marilla could not rid herself of the notion that something in her scheme of punishment was going askew. Anne had no business to look so rapt and radiant.

Rapt and radiant Anne continued until they were in the very presence of Mrs. Lynde, who was sitting knitting by her kitchen window. Then the radiance vanished. Mournful penitence appeared on every feature. Before a word was spoken Anne suddenly went down on her knees before the astonished Mrs. Rachel and held out her hands beseechingly.

"Oh, Mrs. Lynde, I am so extremely sorry," she said with a quiver in her voice. "I could never express all my sorrow, no, not if I used up a whole dictionary. You must just imagine it. I behaved terribly to you—and I've disgraced the dear friends, Matthew and Marilla, who have let me stay at Green Gables although I'm not a boy. I'm a dreadfully wicked and ungrateful girl, and I deserve to be punished and cast out by respectable people for ever. It was very wicked of me to fly into a temper because you told me the truth. It was the truth; every word you said was true. My hair is red and I'm freckled and skinny and ugly. What I said to you was true, too, but I shouldn't have said it. Oh, Mrs. Lynde, please, please, forgive me. If you refuse it will be a lifelong sorrow to me. You wouldn't like to inflict a lifelong sorrow on a poor little orphan girl, would you, even if she had a dreadful temper? Oh, I am sure you wouldn't. Please say you forgive me, Mrs. Lynde."

Anne clasped her hands together, bowed her head, and waited for the word of judgment.

There was no mistaking her sincerity—it breathed in every tone of her voice. Both Marilla and Mrs. Lynde recognized its unmistakable ring. But the former understood in dismay that Anne was actually enjoying her valley of humiliation—was revelling in the thoroughness of her abasement. Where was the wholesome punishment upon which she, Marilla, had plumed herself? Anne had turned it into a species of positive pleasure.

Good Mrs. Lynde, not being overburdened with perception, did not see this. She only perceived that Anne had made a very thorough apology and all resentment vanished from her kindly, if somewhat officious, heart.

"There, there, get up, child," she said heartily. "Of course I forgive you. I guess I was a little too hard on you, anyway. But I'm such an outspoken person. You just mustn't mind me, that's what. It can't be denied your hair is terrible red; but I knew a girl once—went to school with her, in fact—whose hair was every mite as red as yours when she was young, but when she grew up it darkened to a real handsome auburn. I wouldn't be a mite surprised if yours did, too—not a mite."

"Oh, Mrs. Lynde!" Anne drew a long breath as she rose to her feet. "You have given me a hope. I shall always feel that you are a benefactor. Oh, I could endure anything if I only thought my hair would be a handsome auburn when I grew up. It would be so much easier to be good if one's hair was a handsome auburn, don't you think? And now may I go out into your garden and sit on that bench under the apple-trees while you and Marilla are talking? There is so much more scope for imagination out there."

"Laws, yes, run along, child. And you can pick a bouquet of them white June lilies over in the corner if you like."

As the door closed behind Anne Mrs. Lynde got briskly up to light a lamp.

"She's a real odd little thing. Take this chair, Marilla; it's easier than the one you've got; I just keep that for the hired boy to sit on. Yes, she certainly is an odd child, but there is something kind of taking about her after all. I don't feel so surprised at you and Matthew keeping her as I did—nor so sorry for you, either. She may turn out all right. Of course, she has a queer way of expressing herself—a little too—well, too kind of forcible, you know; but she'll likely get over that now that she's come to live among civilized folks. And then, her temper's pretty quick, I guess; but there's one comfort, a child that has a quick temper, just blaze up and cool down, ain't never likely to be sly or deceitful. Preserve me from a sly child, that's what. On the whole, Marilla, I kind of like her."

When Marilla went home Anne came out of the fragrant twilight of the orchard with a sheaf of white narcissi in her hands.

"I apologized pretty well, didn't I?" she said proudly as they went down the lane. "I thought since I had to do it I might as well do it thoroughly."

"You did it thoroughly, all right enough," was Marilla's comment. Marilla was dismayed at finding herself inclined to laugh over the recollection. She had also an uneasy feeling that she ought to scold Anne for apologizing so well; but then, that was ridiculous! She compromised with her conscience by saying severely:

"I hope you won't have occasion to make many more such apologies. I hope you'll try to control your temper now, Anne."

"That wouldn't be so hard if people wouldn't twit me about my looks," said Anne with a sigh. "I don't get cross about other things; but I'm so tired of being twitted about my hair and it just makes me boil right over. Do you suppose my hair will really be a handsome auburn when I grow up?"

"You shouldn't think so much about your looks, Anne. I'm afraid you are a very vain little girl,"

"How can I be vain when I know I'm homely?" protested Anne. "I love pretty things; and I hate to look in the glass and see something that isn't pretty. It makes me feel so sorrowful—just as I feel when I look at any ugly thing. I pity it because it isn't beautiful."

"Handsome is as handsome does," quoted Marilla.

"I've had that said to me before, but I have my doubts about it," remarked sceptical Anne, sniffing at her narcissi. "Oh, aren't these flowers sweet! It was lovely of Mrs. Lynde to give them to me. I have no hard feelings against Mrs. Lynde now. It gives you a lovely, comfortable feeling to apologize and be forgiven, doesn't it? Aren't the stars bright to-night? If you could live in a star, which one would you pick? I'd like that lovely clear big one away over there above that dark hill."

"Anne, do hold your tongue," said Marilla, thoroughly worn out trying to follow the gyrations of Anne's thoughts.

Anne said no more until they turned into their own lane. A little gypsy wind came down it to meet them, laden with the spicy perfume of young dew-wet ferns. Far up in the shadows a cheerful light gleamed out through the trees from the kitchen at Green Gables. Anne suddenly came close to Marilla and slipped her hand into the older woman's hard palm.

"It's lovely to be going home and know it's home," she said. "I love Green Gables already, and I never loved any place before. No place ever seemed like home. Oh, Marilla, I'm so happy. I could pray right now and not find it a bit hard."

Something warm and pleasant welled up in Marilla's heart at touch of that thin little hand in her own—a throb of the maternity she had missed, perhaps. Its very unaccustomedness and sweetness disturbed her. She hastened to restore her sensations to their normal calm by inculcating a moral.

"If you'll be a good girl you'll always be happy, Anne. And you should never find it hard to say your prayers."

"Saying one's prayers isn't exactly the same thing as praying," said Anne meditatively. "But I'm going to imagine that I'm the wind that is blowing up there in those tree-tops. When I get tired of the trees I'll imagine I'm gently waving down here in the ferns—and then I'll fly over to Mrs. Lynde's garden and set the flowers dancing—and then I'll go with one great swoop over the clover field—and then I'll blow over the Lake of Shining Waters and ripple it all up into little sparkling waves. Oh, there's so much scope for imagination in a wind! So I'll not talk any more just now, Marilla."

"Thanks be to goodness for that," breathed Marilla in devout relief.