Three Hours between Planes  by F. Scott Fitzgerald (1896-1940) Short story
Difficulty: Medium    Uploaded: 7 years, 8 months ago by Bouchka     Last Activity: 7 years, 8 months ago
73% Upvoted
24% Translated but not Upvoted
182 Units
97% Translated
73% Upvoted
Es war eine unvernünftige Möglichkeit, aber Donald war in der Stimmung, gesund und gelangweilt, mit einem Gefühl die lästige Pflicht getan zu haben.

Er belohnte sich jetzt selbst.

Vielleicht.

Als das Flugzeug landete, trat er hinaus in eine Sommernacht im mittleren Westen und steuerte den abgesonderten Pueblo-Flughafen an, der als altes rotes "Eisenbahndepot" stilisiert wurde.

Er wusste nicht, ob sie noch lebte oder in dieser Stadt lebt oder wie ihr aktueller Name war. ...

Mit zunehmender Aufregung suchte er im Telefonbuch nach ihrem Vater, der auch tot sein könnte, zu irgendeinem Zeitpunkt in diesen zwanzig Jahren.

Nein. Richter Harmon Holmes -- Hillside 3194. ...

Die amüsierte Stimme einer Frau beantwortete seine Frage nach Miss Nancy Holmes. ...
'Nancy heißt jetzt Mrs. Walter Gifford. Wer spricht da?" Aber Donald legte auf, ohne zu antworten. ... Er hatte herausgefunden, was er wissen wollte, und hatte nur drei Stunden.

Er erinnerte sich nicht an irgendeinen Walter Gifford und es kam zu einem weiteren Aussetzer, während er das Telefonbuch überflog.... Sie könnte jemanden aus einer anderen Stadt geheiratet haben. ...

Nein. Walter Gifford -- Hillside 1191. Das Blut floss in seine Fingerspitzen zurück.

"Hallo?"

"Hallo. Ist Mrs. Gifford da? Hier ist ein alter Freund von ihr '. 'Ich bin Mrs. Gifford'. Er erinnerte sich an den lustigen Zauber in ihrer Stimme oder er dachte, dass er sich daran erinnerte. ...

"Hier spricht Donald Plant. Ich habe dich nicht mehr gesehen, seit ich zwölf war" "Oh-h-h!" Die Bemerkung klang völlig überrascht, sehr höflich, aber er konnte darin weder Freude noch sicheres Wiedererkennen unterscheiden. ... --Donald!" fügte die Stimme hinzu. Dieses Mal war etwas mehr drin als mühsam erkämpfte Erinnerungen....

'. . . wann bist du in die Stadt zurückgekommen?" ... Dann, herzlich, "Wo bist du?"
"Ich bin draußen am Flughafen -- nur für ein paar Stunden." "Nun, komm vorbei und besuch mich." "Gehst du nicht gerade zu Bett?" "Großer Gott, nein!" rief sie aus. "Ich saß gerade hier - und drinke allein einen Highball. Sag es einfach deinem Taxifahrer. . ." Auf dem Weg analysierte Donald die Unterhaltung.

Seine Worte "am Flughafen" machte klar, dass er noch Teil des Großbürgertums war.

Nanys Alleinsein könnte darauf hinweisen, dass sie sich in eine unattraktive Frau ohne Freunde entwickelt hatte.

Ihr Ehemann könnte entweder abwesend oder im Bett sein. Und -- weil sie in seinen Träumen immer zehn Jahre alt war, - schockte ihn der Highball.

Aber er korrigierte sich mit einem Lächeln -- sie war fast dreißig Jahre alt.

Am Ende einer gewundenen Straße sah er eine dunkelhaarige, kleine Schönheit vor einer erleuchteten Tür stehen, ein Glas in ihrer Hand....

Verblüfft, dass sie letztendlich vor ihm stand, stieg Donald aus dem Taxi und sagte:"Mrs. Gifford?" Sie schaltete sich auf der Veranda Licht an und starrte ihn mit mit aufgerissenen Augen und zögernd an. ... Ein Lächeln machte sich auf dem verwirrten Gesichtsausdruck breit.

"Donald -- du bist es wirklich -- wir verändern uns alle so. Oh, das ist bemerkenswert!" Als sie hineingingen, wiederholten ihre Stimmen immer wieder den Spruch "in all diesen Jahren", und Donald bekam ein flaues Gefühl im Magen.

Das kam zum Teil wegen der Vorstellung ihres letzten Treffens -- als sie auf einem Fahrrad an ihm vorbeifuhr, und ihn wie Luft behandelte -, und zum Teil aus der Angst heraus, dass sie sich nichts zu sagen hätten. ...

Es war wie ein Klassentreffen--aber dort wurde das vergebliche Finden der Vergangenheit durch die eilige übermütige Gelegenheit verschleiert.

Entsetzt bemerkte er, dass dies eine lange und triste Stunde werden könnte. Er stürzte sich verzweifelt hinein.

"Du warst immer ein netter Mensch. "Aber ich bin etwa geschockt, dich so schön vorzufinden. " Es klappte... Das prompte Erkennen ihres veränderten Zustandes, das forsche Kompliment, machte sie zu interessanten Fremden anstatt ungeschickten Freunden aus der Kindheit...

"Einen Highball gefällig?" fragte sie. "Nein? Glaube bitte nicht, dass ich eine heimliche Trinkerin geworden bin, aber das war eine melancholische Nacht.

Ich erwartete meinen Ehemann, aber er schickte mir ein Telegramm, dass er zwei Tage später kommen würde. Er ist sehr nett, Donald, und sehr attraktiv.

Ganz dein Typ und mit deinem Teint." Sie zögerte,"-- und ich denke, er interessierte sich für jemanden in New York -- und ich weiß nicht." "Nachdem ich dich gesehen habe, klingt das unmöglich", versicherte er ihr.

Ich war sechs Jahre verheiratet, und es gab eine Zeit, in der ich mich auf diese Weise gequält habe....

Eines Tages habe ich dann die Eifersucht einfach für immer aus meinem Leben verbannt. Nach dem Tod meiner Frau war ich sehr froh darüber.... Es blieb eine sehr reiche Erinnerung zurück -- nichts Störendes oder Beinträchtigendes oder schwer zu Überdenkendes." Sie sah ihn aufmerksam dann mitfühlend an, als er sprach....

"Es tut mir sehr leid," sagte sie.... Und nach einem angemessenen Augenblick, "Du hast dich sehr verändert.... Dreh deinen Kopf.... Ich erinnere mich an Vaters Ausspruch: "Dieser Junge hat Verstand. "Du hast vermutlich dagegen argumentiert." "Ich war beeindruckt.... Bis dahin dachte ich, jeder hätte Verstand. Deshalb bleibt es in meinem Gedächtnis haften." "Was bleibt in deinem Gedächtnis haften?" fragte er lächelnd.

Plötzlich stand Nancy auf und ging schnell ein bisschen weg.

"Ah, jetzt", machte sie ihm Vorwürfe. "Das ist nicht fair!" Ich vermute, ich war ein böses Mädchen." "Du warst es nicht", sagte er beherzt. "Und ich will jetzt einen Drink haben." Als sie es ihm ausgoss, ihr Gesicht noch ihm zugewandt, fuhr er fort: "Denkst du, du wärst das einzige kleine Mädchen, das jemals geküsst wurde?" "Magst du das Thema?" fragte sie nach. Ihre momentane Irritation schmolz dahin und sie sagte: "Was zum Teufel! Wir hatten doch Spaß. Wie in dem Lied."
"Auf der Schlittenfahrt." "Ja-- und das Picknick von irgendeiner -- Trudy James. Und bei Frontenac das- jene Sommer." Es war die Schlittenfahrt, an die er sich am besten erinnerte und ihre kühlen Wangen küsste in dem Stroh in einer Ecke, während sie über die kalten weißen Sterne lachte.

Das Paar neben ihnen hatte sich abgewandt und er küsste ihren kleinen Hals und ihre Ohren und nie ihre Lippen.

"Und Macks Party, wo sie Postamt spielten und ich nicht hingehen konnte, weil ich Mumps hatte", sagte er.

"Ich erinnere mich nicht daran." "Oh, du warst da. Und du wurdest geküsst und ich war vor Eifersucht verrückt wie ich niemals mehr gewesen bin." " Komisch, ich erinnere mich nicht. ... Vielleicht wollte ich es vergessen." "Aber warum?" fragte er amüsiert.

" Wir waren zwei vollkommen unschuldige Kinder.

Nancy, immer wenn ich mit meiner Frau über die Vergangenheit sprach, erzählte ich ihr, dass du das Mädchen warst, das ich fast genau so geliebt habe wie sie.

Aber ich glaube, ich liebte dich wirklich genau so sehr.

Als wir aus der Stadt zogen, trug ich dich wie eine Kanonenkugel in mir'. 'Warst du so aufgewühlt?' 'Mein Gott, ja!...

Ich..." Ihm wurde plötzlich bewußt, dass sie nur zwei Fuß voneinander entfernt standen, dass er sprach, als liebte er sie jetzt, dass sie zu ihm mit halb geöffneten Lippen und einem umwölkten Blick aufsah....


"Mach weiter", sagte sie,"Ich schäme mich zu sagen, ich mag es.

Ich wusste nicht, dass du damals so aufgeregt warst. Ich dachte, ich hätte mich aufgeregt." " Du!" rief er aus.

"Erinnerst du dich nicht mehr daran, mich in der Drogerie aus der Fassung gebracht zu haben?" Er lachte. "Du hast mir deine Zunge ausgestreckt." Ich erinnere mich überhaupt nicht.

"Es schien mir, als hättest du mich aus der Fassung gebracht." Ihre Hand fiel leicht, fast tröstend auf seinen Arm.

"Ich habe ein Fotobuch oben, das ich seit Jahren nicht mehr angesehen habe. "Ich werde es ausgraben." Donald saß fünf Minuten lang mit zwei Gedanken -- erstens, die hoffnungslose Unmöglichkeit in Einklang zu bringen, was verschiedene Leute über das gleiche Ereignis erinnerten -- und zweitens, dass Nancy ihn in erschreckender Weise Nancy ihn so als Frau bewegte, wie sie ihn als Kind bewegt hatte.

In einer halben Stunde hatte sich ein Gefühl entwickelt, das er seit dem Tod seiner Frau nicht mehr gekannt hatte- er hatte nie gehofft, es noch einmal zu erfahren....

Nebeneinander auf einer Couch öffneten sie das Buch zwischen ihnen. Lächelnd und sehr glücklich sah Nancy ihn an.

"Oh, das macht so viel Spaß", sagte sie.

"So toll, dass du so nett bist und dich an an mich so wunderbar erinnerst.

Ich muss dir sagen -- ich wünschte mir, ich hätte es damals gewusst! ... Nachdem du verschwunden warst, habe ich dich gehasst."
"Wie schade", sagte er sanft.

"Aber nicht jetzt", beruhigte sie ihn und dann spontan, "Küssen und Versöhnen -". ... . . das ist nicht das, was eine gute Ehefrau ausmacht“, sagte sie nach einer Minute.... "Ich glaube wirklich nicht, dass ich, seitdem ich verheiratet bin, zwei Männer geküsst habe." Er war aufgeregt-- aber vor allem verwirrt.

Hatte er Nancy geküsst? oder eine Erinnerung? oder diese hübsche zitternde Fremde, die sich schnell von ihm abwandte und eine Seite des Buches umblätterte?...

"Warte!" sagte er. Ich denke nicht, ich könnte für ein paar Sekunden ein Bild sehen." "Wir würden es nicht wieder tun." Ich selbst fühle mich nicht so sehr gelassen." Donald sagte eines dieser trivialen Dinge, die so viel Grund bedecken. ...

"Wäre es nicht schrecklich, wenn wir uns wieder verlieben würden?" Hör auf!" Sie lachte, aber sehr atemlos.... "Es ist alles vorbei. Es war nur ein Augenblick.... Einen Moment, den ich vergessen muss." "Sag's nicht deinem Mann.""Warum nicht?" ... Normalerweise erzähle ich ihm alles." "Es wird ihm wehtun. Sag einem Mann niemals so etwas." "Alles klar, das werde ich nicht."

"Küss mich noch einmal", sagte er in inkonsequenter Weise, aber Nancy hatte eine Seite umgeblättert und zeigte eifrig auf ein Bild. ...

"Da bist du", rief sie. "Sogleich!" schaute er hin. .. Es war ein kleiner Junge in Shorts, der auf einem Pier mit einem Segelboot im Hintergrund steht.


"Ich erinnere mich -"lachte sie triumphierend", - genau an den Tag, an dem es aufgenommen wurde. ... Kitty nahm es auf, und ich stahl es von ihr." Einen Moment lang war Donald außerstande sich auf dem Photo zu erkennen -- dann, sich näher darüberbeugend -- war er völlig außerstande sich zu erkennen.

"Das bin nicht ich", sagte er.

"Oh ja. Es war in Frontenac... der Sommer, in dem wir... Wir gingen immer in die Höhle.'' Welche Höhle? Ich war nur drei Tage in Frontenac."

Wieder schaute er krampfhaft auf das vergilbte Bild....

"Und ich bin das nicht. Das ist Donald Bowers. Wir haben ziemlich ähnlich ausgesehen." Jetzt starrte sie ihn an -- und lehnte sich zurück und schien sich von ihm zu distanzieren.

"Aber du bist Donald Bowers!" rief sie; ihre Stimme wurde etwas schriller.

" Nein, das bist du nicht. Du bist Donald Plant.'', "sagte ich am Telefon.'' Sie stand auf ihren Füßen - ihr Gesicht schwach entsetzt. ...

"Plant" Bowers! Ich muss wohl verrückt sein.

Oder war es dieser Drink?

Ich war etwas durcheinander, als ich dich zum ersten Mal sah. Schau mal her! Was habe ich dir gesagt?" Er versuchte mucksmäuschenstill zu sein, als er die Seite des Buches umblätterte....

"Gar nichts", sagte er.

Bilder, von denen er kein Teil war, bildeten und veränderten sich wieder vor seinen geistigen Augen -- Frontenac -- eine Höhle -- Donald Bowers -- "Du hast mich sitzen gelassen!" Nancy sprach von der anderen Seite des Raums.

Du wirst diese Geschichte nie erzählen ", sagte sie.

"Geschichten sprechen sich irgendwie rum"."Es gibt keine Geschichte", sagte er zögernd. Aber er dachte: Sie war also ein böses kleines Mädchen.

Und nun war er plötzlich voll wilder, rasender Eifersucht auf den kleinen Donald Bowers -- er, der Eifersucht für immer aus seinem Leben verbannt hatte.

Mit den fünf Schritten, die er durch den Raum nahm, zerstörte er zwanzig Jahre und die Existenz von Walter Gifford in einem Zug.. .

"Küss mich noch einmal, Nancy", sagte er, und sank neben ihrem Sessel auf ein Knie und legte seine Hand auf ihre Schulter.

Aber Nancy drehte sich weg.

"Du hast gesagt, du müsstest ein Flugzeug erreichen." "Das ist unwichtig.

Ich kann es verpassen.

Es ist nicht wichtig." Geh, bitte", sagte sie mit unterkühlter Stimme....

"Und versuch dir bitte vorzustellen, wie ich mich fühle." "Aber du tust so, als ob du dich nicht an mich erinnerst", rief er, "-- als ob du dich nicht an Donald Plant erinnerst!" "Ich tue es....

Auch ich erinnere mich an dich. . .

Aber es ist alles so lange her." Ihre Stimme wurde wieder hart.

"Die Nummer des Taxis ist Crestwood 8484." Auf seinem Weg zum Flughafen schüttelte Donald den Kopf.

Er war jetzt ganz er selbst, aber er konnte das Erlebnis nicht verarbeiten.

Only as the plane roared up into the dark sky and its passengers became a different entity from the corporate world below did he draw a parallel from the fact of its flight.

Fünf Minuten, in denen ich geblendet war, hatte ich wie ein Wahnsinniger in zwei Welten gleichzeitig gelebt. Er war ein Junge von zwölf und ein Mann von zweiunddreißig gewesen, unauflösbar und hilflos zusammengemischt....

Donald hatte auch eine ganze Menge in diesen Stunden zwischen zwei Flugzeugen verloren -- aber da die zweite Hälfte des Lebens ein langer Prozess ist, Dinge loszuwerden, spielte dieser Teil des Erlebten wahrscheinlich keine Rolle.
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He was now rewarding himself.
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Maybe.
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He did not know whether she was alive, or living in this town, or what was her present name.
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No.
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Judge Harmon Holmes--Hillside 3194.
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A woman's amused voice answered his inquiry for Miss Nancy Holmes.
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'Nancy is Mrs Walter Gifford now.
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Who is this?’ But Donald hung up without answering.
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He had found out what he wanted to know and had only three hours.
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She might have married out of town.
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No.
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Walter Gifford--Hillside 1191.
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Blood flowed back into his fingertips.
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‘Hello?'
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'Hello.
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'This is Donald Plant.
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I haven't seen you since I was twelve years old.’ 'Oh-h-h!'
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--Donald!'
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added the voice.
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This time there was something more in it than struggling memory.
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'.
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.
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.
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when did you come back to town?'
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Then cordially, 'Where are you?'
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she exclaimed.
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'I was sitting here--having a highball by myself.
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Just tell your taxi man .
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.
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.’ On his way Donald analysed the conversation.
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His words 'at the airport' established that he had retained his position in the upper bourgeoisie.
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Nancy's aloneness might indicate that she had matured into an unattractive woman without friends.
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Her husband might be either away or in bed.
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And--because she was always ten years old in his dreams--the highball shocked him.
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But he adjusted himself with a smile--she was very close to thirty.
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A smile broke through the puzzled expression.
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'Donald--it is you--we all change so.
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Aghast, he realized that this might be a long and empty hour.
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He plunged in desperately.
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'You always were a lovely person.
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But I'm a little shocked to find you as beautiful as you are.’ It worked.
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'Have a highball?'
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she asked.
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'No?
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Please don't think I've become a secret drinker, but this was a blue night.
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I expected my husband but he wired he'd be two days longer.
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He's very nice, Donald, and very attractive.
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Rather your type and colouring.'
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'I was married for six years, and there was a time I tortured myself that way.
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Then one day I just put jealousy out of my life forever.
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After my wife died I was very glad of that.
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'I'm very sorry,' she said.
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And after a proper moment,' You've changed a lot.
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Turn your head.
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I remember father saying, "That boy has a brain.
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»' 'You probably argued against it.’ 'I was impressed.
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Up to then I thought everybody had a brain.
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That's why it sticks in my mind.’ 'What else sticks in your mind?'
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he asked smiling.
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Suddenly Nancy got up and walked quickly a little away.
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'Ah, now,' she reproached him.
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'That isn't fair!
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I suppose I was a naughty girl.’ 'You were not,' he said stoutly.
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she demanded.
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Her momentary irritation melted and she said: 'What the hell!
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We did have fun.
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Like in the song.'
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'On the sleigh ride.’ 'Yes--and somebody's picnic--Trudy James's.
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'I don't remember that.’ 'Oh, you were there.
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Maybe I wanted to forget.’ 'But why?'
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he asked in amusement.
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'We were two perfectly innocent kids.
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But I think I really loved you just as much.
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'Go on,' she said, 'I'm ashamed to say--I like it.
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I didn't know you were so upset then.
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I thought it was me who was upset.’ 'You!'
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he exclaimed.
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'Don't you remember throwing me over at the drugstore.'
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He laughed.
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'You stuck out your tongue at me.’ 'I don't remember at all.
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It seemed to me you did the throwing over.'
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Her hand fell lightly, almost consolingly on his arm.
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'I've got a photograph book upstairs I haven't looked at for years.
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Side by side on a couch they opened the book between them.
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Nancy looked at him, smiling and very happy.
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'Oh, this is such fun,' she said.
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'Such fun that you're so nice, that you remember me so—beautifully.
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Let me tell you--I wish I'd known it then!
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After you'd gone I hated you.'
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'What a pity,' he said gently.
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'But not now,' she reassured him, and then impulsively, 'Kiss and make up—' '.
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.
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.
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that isn't being a good wife,' she said after a minute.
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Had he kissed Nancy?
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or a memory?
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or this lovely trembly stranger who looked away from him quickly and turned a page of the book?
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'Wait!'
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he said.
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'I don't think I could see a picture for a few seconds.’ 'We won't do it again.
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'Wouldn't it be awful if we fell in love again?’ 'Stop it!'
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She laughed, but very breathlessly.
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'It's all over.
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It was a moment.
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A moment I'll have to forget.’ 'Don't tell your husband.’ 'Why not?
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Usually I tell him everything.’ 'It'll hurt him.
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Don't ever tell a man such things.’ 'All right I won’t.'
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'Here's you,' she cried.
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'Right away!’ He looked.
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It was a little boy in shorts standing on a pier with a sailboat in the background.
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'I remember--' she laughed triumphantly, '--the very day it was taken.
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'That's not me,' he said.
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'Oh yes.
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It was at Frontenac--the summer we--we used to go to the cave.’ 'What cave?
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I was only three days in Frontenac.'
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Again he strained his eyes at the slightly yellowed picture.
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'And that isn't me.
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That's Donald Bowers.
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'But you're Donald Bowers!'
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she exclaimed; her voice rose a little.
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'No, you're not.
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'Plant!
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Bowers!
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I must be crazy.
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Or it was that drink?
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I was mixed up a little when I first saw you.
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Look here!
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What have I told you?’ He tried for a monkish calm as he turned a page of the book.
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'Nothing at all,' he said.
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'You'll never tell this story,' she said.
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'Stories have a way of getting around.’ 'There isn't any story,' he hesitated.
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But he thought: So she was a bad little girl.
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But Nancy strained away.
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'You said you had to catch a plane.’ 'It's nothing.
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I can miss it.
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It's of no importance.’ 'Please go,' she said in a cool voice.
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I remember you too .
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.
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.
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But it was all so long ago.’ Her voice grew hard again.
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He was completely himself now but he could not digest the experience.
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For five blinding minutes he had lived like a madman in two worlds at once.
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He had been a boy of twelve and a man of thirty-two, indissolubly and helplessly commingled.
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It was a wild chance but Donald was in the mood, healthy and bored, with a sense of tiresome duty done.

He was now rewarding himself.

Maybe.

When the plane landed he stepped out into a mid-western summer night and headed for the isolated pueblo airport, conventionalized as an old red 'railway depot'.

He did not know whether she was alive, or living in this town, or what was her present name.

With mounting excitement he looked through the phone book for her father who might be dead too, somewhere in these twenty years.

No. Judge Harmon Holmes--Hillside 3194.

A woman's amused voice answered his inquiry for Miss Nancy Holmes.
'Nancy is Mrs Walter Gifford now. Who is this?’

But Donald hung up without answering. He had found out what he wanted to know and had only three hours.

He did not remember any Walter Gifford and there was another suspended moment while he scanned the phone book. She might have married out of town.

No. Walter Gifford--Hillside 1191. Blood flowed back into his fingertips.

‘Hello?'

'Hello. Is Mrs Gifford there--this is an old friend of hers.’

'This is Mrs Gifford.’

He remembered, or thought he remembered, the funny magic in the voice.

'This is Donald Plant. I haven't seen you since I was twelve years old.’

'Oh-h-h!' The note was utterly surprised, very polite, but he could distinguish in it neither joy nor certain recognition.

'--Donald!' added the voice. This time there was something more in it than struggling memory.

'. . . when did you come back to town?' Then cordially, 'Where are you?'
'I'm out at the airport--for just a few hours.’

'Well, come up and see me.’

'Sure you're not just going to bed?’

'Heavens, no!' she exclaimed. 'I was sitting here--having a highball by myself. Just tell your taxi man . . .’

On his way Donald analysed the conversation.

His words 'at the airport' established that he had retained his position in the upper bourgeoisie.

Nancy's aloneness might indicate that she had matured into an unattractive woman without friends.

Her husband might be either away or in bed. And--because she was always ten years old in his dreams--the highball shocked him.

But he adjusted himself with a smile--she was very close to thirty.

At the end of a curved drive he saw a dark-haired little beauty standing against the lighted door, a glass in her hand.

Startled by her final materialization, Donald got out of the cab, saying:
'Mrs Gifford?’

She turned on the porch light and stared at him, wide-eyed and tentative. A smile broke through the puzzled expression.

'Donald--it is you--we all change so. Oh, this is remarkable!’

As they walked inside, their voices jingled the words 'all these years', and Donald felt a sinking in his stomach.

This derived in part from a vision of their last meeting--when she rode past him on a bicycle, cutting him dead--and in part from fear lest they have nothing to say.

It was like a college reunion--but there the failure to find the past was disguised by the hurried boisterous occasion.

Aghast, he realized that this might be a long and empty hour. He plunged in desperately.

'You always were a lovely person. But I'm a little shocked to find you as beautiful as you are.’

It worked. The immediate recognition of their changed state, the bold compliment, made them interesting strangers instead of fumbling childhood friends.

'Have a highball?' she asked. 'No? Please don't think I've become a secret drinker, but this was a blue night.

I expected my husband but he wired he'd be two days longer. He's very nice, Donald, and very attractive.

Rather your type and colouring.' She hesitated, '--and I think he's interested in someone in New York--and I don't know.’

'After seeing you it sounds impossible,' he assured her.

'I was married for six years, and there was a time I tortured myself that way.

Then one day I just put jealousy out of my life forever. After my wife died I was very glad of that. It left a very rich memory--nothing marred or spoiled or hard to think over.’

She looked at him attentively, then sympathetically as he spoke.

'I'm very sorry,' she said. And after a proper moment,' You've changed a lot. Turn your head. I remember father saying, "That boy has a brain. »'

'You probably argued against it.’

'I was impressed. Up to then I thought everybody had a brain. That's why it sticks in my mind.’

'What else sticks in your mind?' he asked smiling.

Suddenly Nancy got up and walked quickly a little away.

'Ah, now,' she reproached him. 'That isn't fair! I suppose I was a naughty girl.’

'You were not,' he said stoutly. 'And I will have a drink now.’

As she poured it, her face still turned from him, he continued:
'Do you think you were the only little girl who was ever kissed?’

'Do you like the subject?' she demanded. Her momentary irritation melted and she said: 'What the hell! We did have fun. Like in the song.'
'On the sleigh ride.’

'Yes--and somebody's picnic--Trudy James's. And at Frontenac that--those summers.’

It was the sleigh ride he remembered most and kissing her cool cheeks in the straw in one corner while she laughed up at the cold white stars.

The couple next to them had their backs turned and he kissed her little neck and her ears and never her lips.

'And the Macks' party where they played post office and I couldn't go because I had the mumps,' he said.

'I don't remember that.’

'Oh, you were there. And you were kissed and I was crazy with jealousy like I never have been since.’

'Funny I don't remember. Maybe I wanted to forget.’

'But why?' he asked in amusement.

'We were two perfectly innocent kids.

Nancy, whenever I talked to my wife about the past, I told her you were the girl I loved almost as much as I loved her.

But I think I really loved you just as much.

When we moved out of town I carried you like a cannon ball in my insides.’

'Were you that much--stirred up?’

'My God, yes!

I--' He suddenly realized that they were standing just two feet from each other, that he was talking as if he loved her in the present, that she was looking up at him with her lips half-parted and a clouded look in her eyes.

'Go on,' she said, 'I'm ashamed to say--I like it.

I didn't know you were so upset then. I thought it was me who was upset.’

'You!' he exclaimed.

'Don't you remember throwing me over at the drugstore.' He laughed. 'You stuck out your tongue at me.’

'I don't remember at all.

It seemed to me you did the throwing over.' Her hand fell lightly, almost consolingly on his arm.

'I've got a photograph book upstairs I haven't looked at for years. I'll dig it out.’

Donald sat for five minutes with two thoughts--first the hopeless impossibility of reconciling what different people remembered about the same event--and secondly that in a frightening way Nancy moved him as a woman as she had moved him as a child.

Half an hour had developed an emotion that he had not known since the death of his wife--that he had never hoped to know again.

Side by side on a couch they opened the book between them. Nancy looked at him, smiling and very happy.

'Oh, this is such fun,' she said.

'Such fun that you're so nice, that you remember me so—beautifully.

Let me tell you--I wish I'd known it then! After you'd gone I hated you.'
'What a pity,' he said gently.

'But not now,' she reassured him, and then impulsively, 'Kiss and make up—'

'. . . that isn't being a good wife,' she said after a minute. 'I really don't think I've kissed two men since I was married.’

He was excited--but most of all confused.

Had he kissed Nancy? or a memory? or this lovely trembly stranger who looked away from him quickly and turned a page of the book?

'Wait!' he said. 'I don't think I could see a picture for a few seconds.’

'We won't do it again. I don't feel so very calm myself.’

Donald said one of those trivial things that cover so much ground.

'Wouldn't it be awful if we fell in love again?’

'Stop it!' She laughed, but very breathlessly. 'It's all over. It was a moment. A moment I'll have to forget.’

'Don't tell your husband.’

'Why not? Usually I tell him everything.’

'It'll hurt him. Don't ever tell a man such things.’

'All right I won’t.'

'Kiss me once more,' he said inconsistently, but Nancy had turned a page and was pointing eagerly at a picture.

'Here's you,' she cried. 'Right away!’

He looked. It was a little boy in shorts standing on a pier with a sailboat in the background.

'I remember--' she laughed triumphantly, '--the very day it was taken. Kitty took it and I stole it from her.’

For a moment Donald failed to recognize himself in the photo--then, bending closer--he failed utterly to recognize himself.

'That's not me,' he said.

'Oh yes. It was at Frontenac--the summer we--we used to go to the cave.’

'What cave? I was only three days in Frontenac.'

Again he strained his eyes at the slightly yellowed picture.

'And that isn't me. That's Donald Bowers. We did look rather alike.’

Now she was staring at him--leaning back, seeming to lift away from him.

'But you're Donald Bowers!' she exclaimed; her voice rose a little.

'No, you're not. You're Donald Plant.’

'I told you on the phone.’

She was on her feet--her face faintly horrified.

'Plant! Bowers! I must be crazy.

Or it was that drink?

I was mixed up a little when I first saw you. Look here! What have I told you?’

He tried for a monkish calm as he turned a page of the book.

'Nothing at all,' he said.

Pictures that did not include him formed and re-formed before his eyes--Frontenac--a cave--Donald Bowers--'You threw me over!’

Nancy spoke from the other side of the room.

'You'll never tell this story,' she said.

'Stories have a way of getting around.’

'There isn't any story,' he hesitated. But he thought: So she was a bad little girl.

And now suddenly he was filled with wild raging jealousy of little Donald Bowers--he who had banished jealousy from his life forever.

In the five steps he took across the room he crushed out twenty years and the existence of Walter Gifford with his stride.

'Kiss me again, Nancy,' he said, sinking to one knee beside her chair, putting his hand upon her shoulder.

But Nancy strained away.

'You said you had to catch a plane.’

'It's nothing.

I can miss it.

It's of no importance.’

'Please go,' she said in a cool voice.

'And please try to imagine how I feel.’

'But you act as if you don't remember me,' he cried, '--as if you don't remember Donald Plant!’

'I do.

I remember you too . . .

But it was all so long ago.’

Her voice grew hard again.

'The taxi number is Crestwood 8484.’

On his way to the airport Donald shook his head from side to side.

He was completely himself now but he could not digest the experience.

Only as the plane roared up into the dark sky and its passengers became a different entity from the corporate world below did he draw a parallel from the fact of its flight.

For five blinding minutes he had lived like a madman in two worlds at once. He had been a boy of twelve and a man of thirty-two, indissolubly and helplessly commingled.

Donald had lost a good deal, too, in those hours between the planes--but since the second half of life is a long process of getting rid of things, that part of the experience probably didn't matter.