en-de  Twenty Days with Julian and Little Bunny Part 4 (End) Medium
Dienstag, der 12. August

Kurz nach sechs aufgestanden. Der alte Herr sagte, er hätte eine sehr angenehme Nacht gehabt und nichts geträumt. Was mich betrifft, so schien ich die ganze Nacht hindurch mich herumzuwälzen und zu fallen- was eigenartig ist, da ich nicht einen Bissen des Abendessens aß. Der Morgen war warm, der Himmel teilweise bedeckt und Nebel lag auf den Hügeln. Die Sonne schimmerte durch, während wir gingen, um die Milch zu holen, aber zog sich dann schnell wieder zurück. Julian tollte in der denkbar besten Stimmung herum. Er gibt diese Woche eine recht komische kleine Figur ab ; seine Unterhosen sind besonders kurz, so dass viel nacktes Bein sichtbar ist, von dem einiges braun gegerbt, während der Rest weiß ist.

Als ich herunter kam, nachdem ich mich angezogen hatte, fand ich einen Brief von Phoebe auf dem Tisch, der ihre Rückkehr für Donnerstag festlegte. Julian hat sich eingebildet, dass sie morgen zurückkommt, und lässt sich nicht davon abbringen.

Gegen elf Uhr machten wir unseren gewohnten Spaziergang zum See; während der alte Herr selbstverständlich seinen Fischereizeitvertreib wieder aufnahm. Es wäre ein ausgezeichneter Tag für wahres Angeln mit seiner Ruhe und Bewölkung; aber bevor wir den See verließen, wühlte die Brise die Oberfläche auf und zerzauste sie. Es war fast Mittagszeit als wir zurückkehrten, aber der kleine Mann musste vorher mit einer Brotscheibe besänftigt werden und danach schmauste er enorm viel Reis, Kürbis und grüne Bohnen. Nach dem Mittagessen saß ich mit einem Buch im Boudoir; und zum ersten Mal seit seine Mutter weggegangen war, verschwand er für den Zeitraum von einer Stunde in unbekannte Ecken. Schließlich dachte ich, es sei Zeit, nach ihm zu schauen, weil, jetzt, wo ich allein mit ihm bin, habe ich alle Ängste seiner Mutter den meinen hinzugefügt. Also ging ich zur Scheune und zu den Johannisbeersträuchern und schrie um das ganze Haus herum ohne eine Antwort und schließlich setzte ich mich auf das Heu, nicht wissend, wo ich ihn suchen sollte. Aber mit der Zeit rannte er rund um das Haus, seine kleine Faust hochhaltend und schrie, dass er etwas sehr Gutes für mich hätte. Das "etwas Gutes" erwies sich als gequetschtes Fruchtfleisch bestehend aus Himbeeren, Brombeeren und Stachelbeeren, die in seiner Faust für eine Stunde geschmort hatten: eine Art des Kochens, wofür seine Mutter umso mehr geschätzt werden würde. Ich konnte es nicht über das Herz bringen, das Geschenk völlig abzulehnen; also nahm ich ein paar Stachelbeeren, die nicht zerquetscht waren und erlaubte ihm, den Rest zu essen; weil er sagte, er habe keine davon gekostet.

Als es vier Uhr war, zog ich ihn und mich an und wir gingen ins Dorf. Es gab ein paar Wolken, die sich manchmal freundlicherweise vor die Sonne schoben; aber es schien der schwülste Tag des ganzen Sommers zu werden und ich litt wirklich unter der Hitze - eine schwere, brütende, drückende Hitze. Im Dorf fand ich eine Nachricht von E.P. P. ; eine weitere von Longfellow und eine von einer Dame, die ein Autogramm erbat. Auf unserem Heimweg war der klein Mann so erschöpft und ihm war so heiß, dass er sich wünschte, von mir getragen zu werden und erklärte, dass er nie mehr ins Dorf gehen wolle oder sogar an den See. Es war in der Tat ein sehr ermüdender Spaziergang. Und jetzt, um sieben Uhr, werde ich ihn ins Bett bringen.

Als ich im Garten war, nachdem ich Julian ins Bett gebracht hatte, kam Mrs. Tappan die Straße entlang und fragte mich, ob ich mit ihr nach Hause gehen wolle und sehen, ob sie einige Bücher hätte, die mir gefallen würden. Also ging ich mit und nahm etliche von "Harper's Magazine" mit und eine oder zwei andere Zeitschriften. Ich hatte ihr einen Brief von Ellery Channing mitgebracht, in dem er einen Besuch vorschlägt; aber sie wird es vorerst ablehnen aufgrund des Platzbedarfes und weil ein Baby im Haus ist. Sie fragte mich mit offensichtlicher Ernsthaftigkeit, ob wir ihn nicht als Besuch aufnehmen könnten! ! ! - da unser Haus so viel größer als ihres ist und wir kein Baby bekommen. Ich schaute durch die Zeitschriften bis halb zehn und dann ins Bett.


Mittwoch, 13. August

Der kleine Mann rührte sich nicht so früh wie üblich; so stand ich endlich auf, nachdem ich einige Zeit wach war, und fand, dass es fast sieben Uhr war. Bevor ich ihn rief, badete ich. Es war ein bedeckter Morgen, mit Nebel, der dicht auf allen Hügeln ruhte; aber hier und da konnte man die Sonnenstrahlen sehen, die durch ihn hindurchkamen und es gab jede Aussicht auf einen heißen und strahlenden Tag. Ich nehme an, dass dieser Nebel und diese Bewölkung nur lokal ist, so dass Phoebe wahrscheinlich einen schönen Morgen hat, an dem sie nach Hause aufbrechen kann. Letzten Endes scheint Julian mit seiner hartnäckigen Aussage, dass seine Mutter heute zurückkehren sollte, Recht zu haben. Er scheint nun jedoch die Idee aufgegeben zu haben und einverstanden zu sein, dass sie auf morgen verschoben wird. Sein Verstand ist dennoch voll von dem Thema; und als er mich gerade eben in einem sauberen Paar Leinenhosen sah, fragte er, ob ich sie für Mama angezogen hätte. Als wir die Milch holen gingen, sprach er darüber, was seine Freude sein würde und wie er sich verhalten würde, wenn seine Mutter käme.

Um zehn Uhr machten wir einen Spaziergang durch Tanglewood, ohne irgendein Abenteuer, und kehrten um elf Uhr zurück. Den Rest des Vormittags haben wir im Haus verbracht; es war sehr warm, und JuHan war nicht bereit, sich zu bewegen. Er beschwert sich, dass es ihm nicht gut geht, kann aber seine Symptome nicht beschreiben. Ich denke vielmehr, dass das Abendessen ihn in Ordnung bringen wird. In der Zwischenzeit, als das beste Rezept, das mir einfällt, habe ich ihm eine Dosis Aconit gegeben. Sein Darm scheint nicht ganz in Ordnung zu sein. Unser heißer und müder Spaziergang gestern hat sich wohl ausgewirkt.

Nach dem Mittagessen gingen wir hinaus und saßen eine Weile unter den Bäumen und verbrachten den Rest des Nachmittags im Haus; ausgenommen, als der kleine Mann hinausging, um zu sehen, wie eine Ladung Heu in die Scheune geworfen wurde und danach machte er eine kurze Fahrt mit dem Heuwagen. Um fünf Uhr klagte er darüber, dass sein Kopf schmerzte und gab ihm eine Dosis Belladonna.


Gegen Abend erholte er sich, aß ein gutes Abendessen und es schien ihm so gut zu gehen wie immer. Tatsächlich hat er sich zu keinem Zeitpunkt unwohl gefühlt. Um sieben widmete er sich mit großer Begeisterung seiner geliebten Scheinschlacht und ist jetzt im Bett. Ich hatte gehofft (und verließ mich zweifellos auf den Brief von E.P.P.), dass er seine Mutter gesehen hätte, bevor er heute Abend schlief. Ich schaute über eine Zeitschrift während des Abends und ging um neun ins Bett.


Donnerstag, 14. August

Ich hatte mitten in der Nacht eine sehr lange Wachphase und schlief gegen Morgen ein; und der kleine Mann wachte früher auf als ich. Nach einer kleinen Wartezeit standen wir beide auf und fanden heraus, dass es noch nicht einmal sechs war. Er wirkte ziemlich lebhaft und in guter Verfassung.

Als wir Milch holen gingen, sahen wir einen trüben Regenbogen, weil es einen kaum wahrnehmbaren Schauer gab und zur selben Zeit schien schwach die Sonne. Ich fürchte aufgrund nachfolgender und aktueller Erscheinunge, dass es schlechtes Wetter für den Tag prophezeit hatte. The old gentleman philosophized about rainbows, as we went along ; but I remember nothing that he said, except that the sunshine was the light of the rainbow. At breakfast he got astride of a fantasy, and told how he would go up among the clouds, and brush them away; so that his mother might have fair weather to come home in. He announced, too, that he should set up Monument Mountain on its end, the longest way, for the purpose, I believe, of climbing up to the clouds upon it. Observing some cake which Mrs. Peters had set on the table for me, he became discontented with his own breakfast, and wanted something different from the ordinary bread and milk. I told him that his bread had yeast in it; and he forthwith began to eat it with a great appetite, and thought it better than he ever tasted.

About an hour after breakfast, he was afflicted with the stomach-ache; and I gave him some Pulsatilla. It appeared to be a pretty severe, but ineffectual griping, and not to be followed by any consequences. It has now passed away, and he is looking over the German picture-book, in excellent spirits. The day has apparently taken a settled character for cloud and sullenness, at least, if not for absolute inclemency. Still, I do not know but it will be more comfortable for Phoebe's journey, than the sultriness of yesterday. Would she were here! It is now half -past nine; and in eight hours more it will be time to hearken for her chariot-wheels.

It being chill and cloudy, we spent the forenoon entirely in the house. The old boy has been very happy; amusing himself with cutting paper, looking at pictures, riding on his horse, and all the time prating to me — without a moment of ill humor (which, indeed, is hardly among his possibilities) or ill spirit. His stomach-ache has not returned. He ate a good dinner of macaroni, rice, squash, and bread; and I hope his mother will be here before night, to receive him from my hands in perfect order, and to be delighted with the babble which, for nearly three weeks past, has run like a brook through all my thoughts. He does not anticipate her return very vividly to-day.
He has not an intense conception of "soon" or "now," any more than of any other time. For my part, I shall be bitterly disappointed if she does not come tonight.

At three, or a little later, Julian insisted so earnestly that we should go down to the lake, that I had to comply; especially as the sun had come out pretty decidedly. So away we went; and the mannikin was in the highest possible exhilaration, absolutely tumbling down with laughter, once or twice, at small cause. On reaching the lake, he sobered himself and began to angle, with all the staidness of an ancient fisherman. By this time it had clouded over again, and the lake looked wild and angry as the gusts swept over it. I feared it might be too chill for the old gentleman to remain long at his present quiescent occupation; and so I soon called him away, and we fought our way home through those never-failing enemies, the thistles. It was now nearly five; and within an hour, surely, or very little more, Phoebe cannot fail to shine upon us. It seems absolutely, an age since she departed. I think I hear the sound of wheels now. It was not she.

Julian has just cried out: "Oh, I wish mamma would come. I want to see her so much! — to see her! — to see her! — to see her! Papa, perhaps we shall find Rose grown up when we see her again!"

Inconceivable to tell, she did not come! I put Julian to bed not long after six, and set out for the Post Office. It was a clear and beautiful sunset, with a brisk September temperature. To my further astonishment, I found no letter; so that I conclude she must have intended to come today. It may be that there was a decided rain, this morning, in the region roundabout Boston, and that this prevented her setting out. I met Mrs. Tappan, just before reaching home; and she said that Mr. Ward, who was to have taken Phoebe and the children under his escort, has not arrived. Not improbably, the cause of the delay lies with him.

I read the paper during the evening, by very dim lamp-light, and went to bed at half-past nine.

August 15th Friday.

We did not get up till seven o'clock this morning. It was very clear, and of autumnal freshness, with a breeze from the northwest. I put a knit jacket on the old gentleman when we went for the milk; but I fear his poor little bare legs, in the intervals between his stockings and drawers, must have felt rather bleak. However, he trudged along in brisk spirits, and tumbled down three times in the course of the walk. On our way home, we met three ladies on horseback, attended by a gentleman; and the little man asked me whether I thought the ladies pretty, and said that he did not. They really were rather pretty, in my opinion; but I suspect that their appearance on horseback did not suit his taste; and I agree with him that a woman is a disagreeable spectacle in such an attitude. But the old boy is very critical in matters of beauty; although I think that the real ground of his censures usually lies in some wrong done to his sense of fitness and propriety. But this sense is sometimes conventional with him. For instance, he denied that the Quaker lady who called on me was pretty; and it turned out that he did not like the unaccustomed fashion of her dress, and her thees and thous.

At ten o'clock we set out on a walk towards the lake. All the way, and during the whole excursion, Julian was full of Giant Despair, and attributed all his mishaps to that malevolent personage. He happened to tread in some fresh "cow-mud," as Una calls it; and he said that the giant had made it there, so as to trouble him. When we came to the open part of Shadow Brook, I lay down on the bank, fully exposed to the sun, and basked there, with a pleasant sense of too much warmth; while sometimes a breath of wind would find its way there, and refresh me with its austerity. And here I smoked a cigar— partly here, and partly on the shore of the lake.


It is a perfect forenoon of its kind, only it comes just about a month too soon. Julian fished, as usual, in the lake, and afterwards threw stones in it, and seemed never to be weary of haunting its margins, any more than a kingfisher which we often see there, flitting from one decayed branch to another. But I grew tired, after a while, and insisted on returning home; whither we arrived at precisely noon.

It is now half -past four. We have made no other excursion to-day, but have loitered in and about the house. Julian does not appear to have any imminent impression of his mother's coming, though once or twice he has said what a good day it was for her to come. Perhaps she is by this time in the village. I feel as if she were coming; but, after previous disappointments, I do not look upon it as a certainty. Julian, by the by, seems perfectly cool; but, I must say, his hair has taken a worse aspect to-day, than any time during her absence; and yet I frizzled it as carefully as I could. He has on his knit woollen jacket, too, which disfigures him horribly; but he will not be persuaded to dispense with it, so his mother, I suppose, will think he has been looking like a fright ever since she went away.

Bunny is evidently out of order. He appeared to be indisposed yesterday, and is still more evidently so today. He has just had a shivering fit. Julian thinks he has the scarlet fever; that being the only disease with which he has ever been conversant.

Mr. Ward has just been here (at half -past five), expecting to find that Phoebe had arrived yesterday. This heightens the mystery. E.P.P. wrote me that he would escort her on Wednesday. He was prevented from coming on that day, but supposed that she would have come with Mrs. Minott, on Thursday. Where can she be?

I put Julian to bed very soon after supper, and immediately set out for the village. Still no letter from Sophia. I think she must have been under some mistake as to Mr. Ward's movements, and has waited in expectation of his escort. There was a great box, directed to me, at the Post Office, which probably contains her Boston purchases. Returning home, I spent the evening in reading newspapers. In one of them (the " N. Y. Evening Post ") I saw an account of the Commencement at the Wesleyan University, Middletown, Conn. ; and one of the Baccalaureate exercises was a " Modern Classical Oration " by Edwin Halsey, late of Cromwell, on myself! I don't quite understand the nature of the performance, and whether it was in Latin or the vernacular; but I should have been curious to hear it.

To bed, disconsolate, at a little before ten.

August I6th Saturday.


The little man awoke before day, and continued awake some time, of course keeping me awake too, but fell asleep after a good while, and slept till nearly seven — when we both got up. On entering the bathing-room, I peeped into Bunny's box, with something like a foreboding of what had happened ; and, sure enough, there lay the poor little beast, stark and stiff. That shivering fit, yesterday, had a very fatal aspect in my eyes. I have no idea what was his disorder; his digestive functions appeared to be all right, and his symptoms had been merely a disinclination, for the last two days, to move or eat. Julian seemed to be interested and excited by the event, rather than afflicted. He imputed it, as he does all other mishaps, to the agency of Giant Despair; and as we were going for the milk, he declared it was the wickedest thing the giant ever did — "more wickeder " than when he made the cow-mud.

After breakfast, I dug a hole, and we planted poor Bunny in the garden; and the old gentleman expressed his hopes that, by to-morrow, a flower will have sprung up over him. After frizzling Julian's wig, and shaving myself, I sent him over to Highwood with a note to Mrs. Tappan, informing her of the great box at the Post Office, and suggesting that it probably contained her rice, and hinting the little probability that she would ever get it, unless by sending the wagon for the box. This being the proper method of presenting the affair, she saw it in the right light, and told Julian she would send. It is now nearly ten, and Julian is teasing me to go to the lake. He says, just now, "Perhaps tomorrow there will be a tree of Bunnies, and they will hang all over it by their ears!" I have before this observed that children have an odd propensity to treat death (the death of animals, at least) as a joke, though rather nervously. He has laughed a good deal about Bunny's exit.

We went to the lake, in accordance with the old boy's wish. He had taken with him the little vessel that his Uncle Nat made for him, long ago, and which since yesterday has been his favorite plaything. He launched it upon the lake, and it looked very like a real sloop, tossing up and do\vn on the swelling waves. I believe he would very contentedly have spent a hundred years, or so, with no other amusement than this. I, meanwhile, took the "National Era" from my pocket, and gave it a pretty attentive perusal. I have before now experienced that the best way to get a vivid impression and feeling of a landscape is to sit down before it and read, or become otherwise absorbed in thought; for then, when your eyes happen to be attracted to the landscape, you seem to catch Nature at unawares, and see her before she has time to change her aspect. The effect lasts but for a single instant, and passes away almost as soon as you are conscious of it; but it is real for that moment. It is as if you could overhear and understand what the trees are whispering to one another ; as if you caught a glimpse of a face unveiled, which veils itself from every wilful glance.
The mystery is revealed, and, after a breath or two, becomes just as much a mystery as before. I caught one such glimpse, this afternoon, though not so perfectly as sometimes. It was half -past twelve when we got back.

I forgot to say that I left a note for Mr. Steele, at the Post Office, requesting him to wait in Pittsfield for Phoebe. If she does not come to-day, — well, I do not know what I shall do.

It is nearly six by the clock, and they do not come! Surely they must, must, must be here tonight!

Within a quarter of an hour after writing the above, they have come— all well! Thank God!
unit 1
August 12th Tuesday.
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Up at a little past six.
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The old gentleman said that he had had a very pleasant night, and no dreams.
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The morning was warm, with a partially overcast sky, and mist on the hills.
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Julian capered along, in the best imaginable spirits.
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At the village I found a note from E.P.P.
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; another from Longfellow and one from a lady requesting an autograph.
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It was indeed a most wearisome walk.
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And now, at seven o'clock, I am going to put him to bed.
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She inquired, with apparent seriousness, whether we could not receive his visit!
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!
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!
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— our house being so much bigger than hers, and we having no baby.
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I looked over the periodicals till half -past nine, and then to bed.
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August I3th Wednesday.
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I bathed, before calling him.
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At ten o'clock we took a stroll in Tanglewood, without any adventure, and returned at eleven.
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He complains of not feeling well, but cannot describe his symptoms.
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I rather think dinner will set him right.
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In the meantime, as the best prescription I can think of, I have given him a dose of aconite.
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His bowels do not seem to be at all out of order.
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Our hot and weary walk, yesterday, may have affected him.
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At five o'clock he complained that his head ached, and I gave him a dose of belladonna.
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Towards evening he brightened up, ate a good supper, and seemed altogether as well as usual.
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Indeed, he has not appeared decidedly unwell at any moment.
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At seven he engaged with great spirit in his beloved sham-battle, and is now in bed.
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I did hope (relying undoubtedly on E.P.P.
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's letter) that he would have seen his mother before he slept tonight.
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I looked over a periodical during the evening, and went to bed at nine.
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August 14th Thursday.
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After some little delay, we both got up, and found it to be not yet six.
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He seemed quite bright and in good condition.
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Would she were here!
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It being chill and cloudy, we spent the forenoon entirely in the house.
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His stomach-ache has not returned.
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He does not anticipate her return very vividly to-day.
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It seems absolutely, an age since she departed.
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I think I hear the sound of wheels now.
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It was not she.
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Julian has just cried out: "Oh, I wish mamma would come.
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I want to see her so much!
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— to see her!
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— to see her!
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— to see her!
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Papa, perhaps we shall find Rose grown up when we see her again!"
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Inconceivable to tell, she did not come!
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I put Julian to bed not long after six, and set out for the Post Office.
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It was a clear and beautiful sunset, with a brisk September temperature.
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Not improbably, the cause of the delay lies with him.
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August 15th Friday.
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We did not get up till seven o'clock this morning.
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But this sense is sometimes conventional with him.
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At ten o'clock we set out on a walk towards the lake.
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It is now half -past four.
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Perhaps she is by this time in the village.
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Bunny is evidently out of order.
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He has just had a shivering fit.
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This heightens the mystery.
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E.P.P.
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wrote me that he would escort her on Wednesday.
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Where can she be?
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Still no letter from Sophia.
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Returning home, I spent the evening in reading newspapers.
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In one of them (the " N. Y.
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To bed, disconsolate, at a little before ten.
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August I6th Saturday.
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That shivering fit, yesterday, had a very fatal aspect in my eyes.
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It is now nearly ten, and Julian is teasing me to go to the lake.
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He has laughed a good deal about Bunny's exit.
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We went to the lake, in accordance with the old boy's wish.
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It was half -past twelve when we got back.
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If she does not come to-day, — well, I do not know what I shall do.
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It is nearly six by the clock, and they do not come!
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Surely they must, must, must be here tonight!
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Thank God!
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Omega-I 8487  translated  unit 32  1 month ago
"!"
Omega-I 8487  translated  unit 31  1 month ago
"!"

August 12th Tuesday.

Up at a little past six. The old gentleman said that he had had a very pleasant night, and no dreams. For myself, I seemed to toss and tumble about, the whole night through;— which is the stranger, as I ate not a mouthful of supper. The morning was warm, with a partially overcast sky, and mist on the hills. The sun gleamed out as we were going for the milk, but quickly withdrew himself again. Julian capered along, in the best imaginable spirits. He makes a very funny little figure, this week; his drawers being particularly short, so that a great deal of bare leg is visible, some of which is tanned brown, while the rest is white.

When I came down from dressing, after breakfast, I found a letter from Phoebe on the table, fixing her return on Thursday. Julian has taken a notion that she is to come back tomorrow, and he will not be persuaded out of it.

At about eleven, we took our well-worn walk to the lake ; when, of course, the old gentleman resumed his piscatory pastime. It would have been an excellent day for real fishing, with its stillness and cloudiness; but before we left the lake, the breeze stirred and ruffled its surface. It was nearly dinner-time when we returned, but the little man had to be appeased with a slice of bread preliminarily, and afterwards feasted immensely on rice, squash, and string beans. After dinner, I sat down with a book in the boudoir; and, for the first time since his mother went away, he was absent in parts unknown for the space of an hour. At last I began to think it time to look him up; for, now that I am alone with him, I have all his mother's anxieties added
to my own. So I went to the barn and to the currant-bushes, and shouted around the house, without response, and finally sat down on the hay, not knowing which way to seek him. But by and by he ran round the house, holding up his httle fist, with a smiling phiz, and crying out that he had something very good for me. The " something good " proved to be a squeezed-up pulp consisting of raspberries, blackberries, and gooseberries, which had been stewing in his fist for an hour past: a kind of cookery for which his mother would have thought them all the better. I could not find it in my heart utterly to refuse his gift; so I took a few of the gooseberries, which happened not to be crushed, and allowed him to eat the rest; for he said that he had not tasted one.

It being by this time four o'clock, I dressed him and myself and we set out for the village. There were a few clouds, which sometimes kindly came across the sun; but it seemed to be the sultriest day of the whole summer, and I really suffered with the heat— a heavy, brooding, oppressive heat. At the village I found a note from E.P.P. ; another from Longfellow and one from a lady requesting an autograph. On our way home, the little man was so weary and hot that he wished me to carry him, and declared that he never wanted to go to the village again, nor even to the lake. It was indeed a most wearisome walk. And now, at seven o'clock, I am going to put him to bed.

Being in the garden, after putting Juhan to bed, Mrs. Tappan passed along the road, and asked me to go home with her and see whether she had any books which I would like. So I went, and took a number of " Harper's Magazine " and one or two other periodicals. I had brought her a letter from Ellery Channing, in which he proposes a visit; but she is going to decline it, for the present, on account of want of room and there being a baby in the house. She inquired, with apparent seriousness, whether we could not receive his visit! ! ! — our house being so much bigger than hers, and we having no baby. I looked over the periodicals till half -past nine, and then to bed.

August I3th Wednesday.

The little man did not bestir himself so early as usual; so at last I got up, after being some time awake, and found it to be nearly seven o'clock. I bathed, before calling him. It was an overcast morning, with mists sleeping heavily on all the hills; but here and there you could see the sunbeams melting through them, and there was every prospect of a hot and shining day. I suppose this mist and cloudiness is merely local; so that Phoebe will probably have a fair morning in which to start for home. After all, Julian seems to have been right in his obstinate declaration that his mother was to return to-day. He appears now to have given up the idea, however, and to acquiesce in her delaying till to-morrow. His mind is full of the subject, nevertheless; and seeing me in a clean pair of linen pantaloons, just now, he asked if I had put them on for mamma. As we were going for the milk, he talked about what his delight would be, and how he should behave, when his mother arrived.

At ten o'clock we took a stroll in Tanglewood, without any adventure, and returned at eleven. The remainder of the forenoon we have spent in the house; it being very warm, and JuHan disinclined to move. He complains of not feeling well, but cannot describe his symptoms. I rather think dinner will set him right. In the meantime, as the best prescription I can think of, I have given him a dose of aconite. His bowels do not seem to be at all out of order. Our hot and weary walk, yesterday, may have affected him.

After dinner we went out and sat under the trees for a while, and have spent the rest of the afternoon in the house ; except that the little man went out to see a load of hay pitched into the barn, and afterwards took a short ride on the hay-cart. At five o'clock he complained that his head ached, and I gave him a dose of belladonna.

Towards evening he brightened up, ate a good supper, and seemed altogether as well as usual. Indeed, he has not appeared decidedly unwell at any moment. At seven he engaged with great spirit in his beloved sham-battle, and is now in bed. I did hope (relying undoubtedly on E.P.P.'s letter) that he would have seen his mother before he slept tonight. I looked over a periodical during the evening, and went to bed at nine.

August 14th Thursday.

I HAD a very long waking spell, in the mid of night, and fell asleep towards morning; and the little man awoke earlier than I. After some little delay, we both got up, and found it to be not yet six. He seemed quite bright and in good condition.

Going for the milk, we saw a dim rainbow, there being a scarcely perceptible shower, and the sun shining out faintly at the same time. I fear, from subsequent and present appearances, that it was prophetic of bad weather for the day. The old gentleman philosophized about rainbows, as we went along ; but I remember nothing that he said, except that the sunshine was the light of the rainbow. At breakfast he got astride of a fantasy, and told how he would go up among the clouds, and brush them away; so that his mother might have fair weather to come home in. He announced, too, that he should set up Monument Mountain on its end, the longest way, for the purpose, I believe, of climbing up to the clouds upon it. Observing some cake which Mrs. Peters had set on the table for me, he became discontented with his own breakfast, and wanted something different from the ordinary bread and milk. I told him that his bread had yeast in it; and he forthwith began to eat it with a great appetite, and thought it better than he ever tasted.

About an hour after breakfast, he was afflicted with the stomach-ache; and I gave him some Pulsatilla. It appeared to be a pretty severe, but ineffectual griping, and not to be followed by any consequences. It has now passed away, and he is looking over the German picture-book, in excellent spirits. The day has apparently taken a settled character for cloud and sullenness, at least, if not for absolute inclemency. Still, I do not know but it will be more comfortable for Phoebe's journey, than the sultriness of yesterday. Would she were here! It is now half -past nine; and in eight hours more it will be time to hearken for her chariot-wheels.

It being chill and cloudy, we spent the forenoon entirely in the house. The old boy has been very happy; amusing himself with cutting paper, looking at pictures, riding on his horse, and all the time prating to me — without a moment of ill humor (which, indeed, is hardly among his possibilities) or ill spirit. His stomach-ache has not returned. He ate a good dinner of macaroni, rice, squash, and bread; and I hope his mother will be here before night, to receive him from my hands in perfect order, and to be delighted with the babble which, for nearly three weeks past, has run like a brook through all my thoughts. He does not anticipate her return very vividly to-day.
He has not an intense conception of "soon" or "now," any more than of any other time. For my part, I shall be bitterly disappointed if she does not come tonight.

At three, or a little later, Julian insisted so earnestly that we should go down to the lake, that I had to comply; especially as the sun had come out pretty decidedly. So away we went; and the mannikin was in the highest possible exhilaration, absolutely tumbling down with laughter, once or twice, at small cause. On reaching the lake, he sobered himself and began to angle, with all the staidness of an ancient fisherman. By this time it had clouded over again, and the lake looked wild and angry as the gusts swept over it. I feared it might be too chill for the old gentleman to remain long at his present quiescent occupation; and so I soon called him away, and we fought our way home through those never-failing enemies, the thistles. It was now nearly five; and within an hour, surely, or very little more, Phoebe cannot fail to shine upon us. It seems absolutely, an age since she departed. I think I hear the sound of wheels now. It was not she.

Julian has just cried out: "Oh, I wish mamma would come. I want to see her so much! — to see her! — to see her! — to see her! Papa, perhaps we shall find Rose grown up when we see her again!"

Inconceivable to tell, she did not come! I put Julian to bed not long after six, and set out for the Post Office. It was a clear and beautiful sunset, with a brisk September temperature. To my further astonishment, I found no letter; so that I conclude she must have intended to come today. It may be that there was a decided rain, this morning, in the region roundabout Boston, and that this prevented her setting out. I met Mrs. Tappan, just before reaching home; and she said that Mr. Ward, who was to have taken Phoebe and the children under his escort, has not arrived. Not improbably, the cause of the delay lies with him.

I read the paper during the evening, by very dim lamp-light, and went to bed at half-past nine.

August 15th Friday.

We did not get up till seven o'clock this morning. It was very clear, and of autumnal freshness, with a breeze from the northwest. I put a knit jacket on the old gentleman when we went for the milk; but I fear his poor little bare legs, in the intervals between his stockings and drawers, must have felt rather bleak. However, he trudged along in brisk spirits, and tumbled down three times in the course of the walk. On our way home, we met three ladies on horseback, attended by a gentleman; and the little man asked me whether I thought the ladies pretty, and said that he did not. They really were rather pretty, in my opinion; but I suspect that their appearance on horseback did not suit his taste; and I agree with him that a woman is a disagreeable
spectacle in such an attitude. But the old boy is very critical in matters of beauty; although I think that the real ground of his censures usually lies in some wrong done to his sense of fitness and propriety. But this sense is sometimes conventional with him. For instance, he denied that the Quaker lady who called on me was pretty; and it turned out that he did not like the unaccustomed fashion of her dress, and her thees and thous.

At ten o'clock we set out on a walk towards the lake. All the way, and during the whole excursion, Julian was full of Giant Despair, and attributed all his mishaps to that malevolent personage. He happened to tread in some fresh "cow-mud," as Una calls it; and he said that the giant had made it there, so as to trouble him. When we came to the open part of Shadow Brook, I lay down on the bank, fully exposed to the sun, and basked there, with a pleasant sense of too much warmth; while sometimes a breath of wind would find its way there, and refresh me with its austerity. And here I smoked a cigar— partly here, and partly on the shore of the lake.

It is a perfect forenoon of its kind, only it comes just about a month too soon. Julian fished, as usual, in the lake, and afterwards threw stones in it, and seemed never to be weary of haunting its margins, any more than a kingfisher which we often see there, flitting from one decayed branch to another. But I grew tired, after a while, and insisted on returning home; whither we arrived at precisely noon.

It is now half -past four. We have made no other excursion to-day, but have loitered in and about the house. Julian does not appear to have any imminent impression of his mother's coming, though once or twice he has said what a good day it was for her to come. Perhaps she is by this time in the village. I feel as if she were coming; but, after previous disappointments, I do not look upon it as a certainty. Julian, by the by, seems perfectly cool; but, I must say, his hair has taken a worse aspect to-day, than any time during her absence; and yet I frizzled it as carefully as I could. He has on his knit woollen jacket, too, which disfigures him horribly; but he will not be persuaded to dispense with it, so his mother, I suppose, will think he has been looking like a fright ever since she went away.

Bunny is evidently out of order. He appeared to be indisposed yesterday, and is still more evidently so today. He has just had a shivering fit. Julian thinks he has the scarlet fever; that being the only disease with which he has ever been conversant.

Mr. Ward has just been here (at half -past five), expecting to find that Phoebe had arrived yesterday. This heightens the mystery. E.P.P. wrote me that he would escort her on Wednesday. He was prevented from coming on that day, but supposed that she would have come with Mrs. Minott, on Thursday. Where can she be?

I put Julian to bed very soon after supper, and immediately set out for the village. Still no letter from Sophia. I think she must have been under some mistake as to Mr. Ward's movements, and has waited in expectation of his escort. There was a great box, directed to me, at the Post Office, which probably contains her Boston purchases. Returning home, I spent the evening in reading newspapers. In one of them (the " N. Y. Evening Post ") I saw an account of the Commencement at the Wesleyan University, Middletown, Conn. ; and one of the Baccalaureate exercises was a " Modern Classical Oration " by Edwin Halsey, late of Cromwell, on myself! I
don't quite understand the nature of the performance, and whether it was in Latin or the vernacular; but I should have been curious to hear it.

To bed, disconsolate, at a little before ten.

August I6th Saturday.

The little man awoke before day, and continued awake some time, of course keeping me awake too, but fell asleep after a good while, and slept till nearly seven — when we both got up. On entering the bathing-room, I peeped into Bunny's box, with something like a foreboding of what had happened ; and, sure enough, there lay the poor little beast, stark and stiff. That shivering fit, yesterday, had a very fatal aspect in my eyes. I have no idea what was his disorder; his digestive functions appeared to be all right, and his symptoms had been merely a disinclination, for the last two days, to move or eat. Julian seemed to be interested and excited by the event, rather than afflicted. He imputed it, as he does all other mishaps, to the agency of Giant Despair; and as we were going for the milk, he declared it was the wickedest thing the giant ever did — "more wickeder " than when he made the cow-mud.

After breakfast, I dug a hole, and we planted poor Bunny in the garden; and the old gentleman expressed his hopes that, by to-morrow, a flower will have sprung up over him. After frizzling Julian's wig, and shaving myself, I sent him over to Highwood with a note to Mrs. Tappan, informing her of the great box at the Post Office, and suggesting that it probably contained her rice, and hinting the little probability that
she would ever get it, unless by sending the wagon for the box. This being the proper method of presenting the affair, she saw it in the right light, and told Julian she would send. It is now nearly ten, and Julian is teasing me to go to the lake. He says, just now, "Perhaps tomorrow there will be a tree of Bunnies, and they will hang all over it by their ears!" I have before this observed that children have an odd propensity to treat death (the death of animals, at least) as a joke, though rather nervously. He has laughed a good deal about Bunny's exit.

We went to the lake, in accordance with the old boy's wish. He had taken with him the little vessel that his Uncle Nat made for him, long ago, and which since yesterday has been his favorite plaything. He launched it upon the lake, and it looked very like a real sloop, tossing up and do\vn on the swelling waves. I believe he would very contentedly have spent a hundred years, or so, with no other amusement than this. I, meanwhile, took the "National Era" from my pocket, and gave it a pretty attentive perusal. I have before now experienced that the best way to get a vivid impression and feeling of a landscape is to sit down before it and read, or become otherwise absorbed in thought; for then, when your eyes happen to be attracted to the landscape, you seem to catch Nature at unawares, and see her before she has time to change her aspect. The effect lasts but for a single instant, and passes away almost as soon as you are conscious of it; but it is real for that moment. It is as if you could overhear and understand what the trees are whispering to one another ; as if you caught a glimpse of a face unveiled, which veils itself from every wilful glance.
The mystery is revealed, and, after a breath or two, becomes just as much a mystery as before. I caught one such glimpse, this afternoon, though not so perfectly as sometimes. It was half -past twelve when we got back.

I forgot to say that I left a note for Mr. Steele, at the Post Office, requesting him to wait in Pittsfield for Phoebe. If she does not come to-day, — well, I do not know what I shall do.

It is nearly six by the clock, and they do not come! Surely they must, must, must be here tonight!

Within a quarter of an hour after writing the above, they have come— all well! Thank God!