en-de  The 100-year old. Medium
Der 100-jährige.

Von Godfried Bomans.

Aus dem holländischen übersetzt.

Ist Vater zu Hause? ", fragte ich den Mann, der die Tür öffnete. Er nickte und führte mich in einen Raum, wo ein noch älterer Mann war, der fast tot war. In Eile zerriss ich eine Ohrtrompete von der Wand und schrie ihm ins Ohr: "Herzlichen Glückwunsch!"

"Sie irren sich", sagte der alte Mann mit gedämpfter Stimme, "Dad ist oben."

"Ich flog die Treppe hinauf, denn ich habe verstanden, dass es jetzt eine Frage von Sekunden war. Da war der Hundertjährige von den Seilen hängend: er war damit beschäftigt, ein Vogelnest zu machen.

Ich kroch fast in sein Ohr und rief: "Herzlichen Glückwunsch!" Der Jubilar schüttelte seinen Kopf, machte einen doppelten Salto und sprang auf den Boden. "Ich bin nicht taub", sagte er indem er seine Jacke anzog, "ich bin nur alt. Was ist los?"

"Sind Sie nicht 100 Jahre alt geworden?!" brüllte ich. "Mann, schreien Sie nicht so ", sagte der Knacker beim Hochziehen der Ringe, "ich bin mir dessen sehr bewusst. Heute Abend kommt der Bürgermeister mit einer Dämmerungslampe und einem Umschlag mit Inhalt. Diese Dämmerungslampe ist mir egal, aber der Umschlag interessiert mich. Was tun sie normalerweise hinein?" Ich wusste es nicht. "Wofür sind Sie wirklich gekommen?" , fragte der kleine Mann widerwillig, "wollen Sie mir etwas verkaufen?"

"Ich komme, um etwas zu fragen", sagte ich, "als Erstes, wie sind Sie so alt geworden?"

"Es geschah von selbst", antwortete der Jubilar. "Jedes Jahr wird man ein Jahr älter, das liegt in der Natur der Sache." Als ich siebzig war, war ich siebzig, und als ich achtzig wurde, war ich achtzig. Und so machte ich weiter bis einhundert." "Tun Sie etwas dafür?"

"Nein, ich mache nichts dafür, es passiert vonselbst. Das ist der Spaß an dieser Art von Arbeit."

"Wussten Sie, dass Sie dort hinkommen?"

"Zuerst nicht, aber später begann ich es zu realisieren. "When I turned ninety, I began to check the obituaries in the newspapers; I struck up a friendship with the porter of the old men's home, and so I could monitor the situation from up close. Persevere, I thought, teeth clenched. And yes, I got there."

"To what do you attribute it.?"

"It's a matter of patience. Persistence pays off, he who laughs last, laughs best, all's well that ends well, you need to look in that direction."

"When did you actually started to become aware of it?"

"That cannot be said precisely. When I turned seventy, I was still an insignificant little man, my time had yet to come. My eightieth birthday was actually a low point: nobody understood why I did not die, and - I did not want to reveal anything. But then, slowly, I started to come forward. At my ninetieth, people began to point me out, and by my ninety-fifth, the troubles were behind me."

"Do you have competition?"

"There are a few ninety-year olds living in the city, but I keep a close eye on them. As one of them has a birthday, I send him a card, with my age on it. They'll give up, eventually."

"Do you enjoy your work?"

"Oh yes. The nice thing about our job is, that once you are a year ahead, they are no longer able to catch up, even though the others work like hell. Every year someone ages, I'll gain one as well, and so they cannot catch up. That breaks them in due course."

"But you have the same feeling about those that are ahead of you?"

"Sure. But there are only three. I cannot catch them; but I can wait. And in the meantime, I keep an eye on them. The widow Boltjens in Schiedam is 102. Good. But yesterday she started to cough. Then you have former Zouave Serremans from Bolsward. A tough cookie. But he lives on the north side, on a corner. Then there is Van Loggem from Venlo with that wooden leg. He has a head start because that other leg, he doesn't have to pay any more attention to. But since last week he needs glasses for the small print, and glasses, we one hundred-year olds know between us, is the beginning of the end."

"What will you do when you have reached the top?"

"Then I'll quit. I have no interest in spoiling the market, the young people must also have a chance."

From: Godfried Bomans, Kopstukken ('De 100-jarige' - "The 100-year old").
Translated from the Dutch.
unit 1
The 100-year old.
1 Translations, 3 Upvotes, Last Activity 1 year, 5 months ago
unit 2
By Godfried Bomans.
1 Translations, 3 Upvotes, Last Activity 1 year, 5 months ago
unit 3
Translated from Dutch.
2 Translations, 2 Upvotes, Last Activity 1 year, 5 months ago
unit 4
"Is father home?
1 Translations, 3 Upvotes, Last Activity 1 year, 5 months ago
unit 5
", I asked the old man, who opened the door.
2 Translations, 2 Upvotes, Last Activity 1 year, 5 months ago
unit 6
He nodded, and led me into a room where there was a still older man, who was almost dead.
1 Translations, 1 Upvotes, Last Activity 1 year, 5 months ago
unit 7
In a hurry, I ripped an ear trumpet of the wall and shouted in his ear: "Congratulations!"
2 Translations, 1 Upvotes, Last Activity 1 year, 5 months ago
unit 8
"You're mistaken," said the old man with a muffled voice, "Dad is upstairs."
1 Translations, 1 Upvotes, Last Activity 1 year, 5 months ago
unit 9
"I flew up the stairs, because I understood that it was now a matter of seconds.
3 Translations, 1 Upvotes, Last Activity 1 year, 5 months ago
unit 10
There was the hundred-year-old hanging from the ropes: he was busy making a bird nest.
1 Translations, 1 Upvotes, Last Activity 1 year, 5 months ago
unit 11
I almost crawled in his ear and yelled: "Congratulations!"
1 Translations, 0 Upvotes, Last Activity 1 year, 5 months ago
unit 12
The jubilarian shook his head, made a double somersault and jumped to the ground.
1 Translations, 0 Upvotes, Last Activity 1 year, 5 months ago
unit 13
"I'm not deaf," he said, putting on his coat, "I'm just old.
1 Translations, 0 Upvotes, Last Activity 1 year, 5 months ago
unit 14
What's going on?"
1 Translations, 0 Upvotes, Last Activity 1 year, 5 months ago
unit 15
"Didn't you turn a hundred years old?!"
1 Translations, 0 Upvotes, Last Activity 1 year, 5 months ago
unit 16
I screamed.
1 Translations, 0 Upvotes, Last Activity 1 year, 5 months ago
unit 17
"Man, do not shout like that," said the geezer, pulling up the rings, "I am well aware of it.
1 Translations, 0 Upvotes, Last Activity 1 year, 5 months ago
unit 18
Tonight the mayor comes with a twilight lamp and an envelope with content.
1 Translations, 0 Upvotes, Last Activity 1 year, 5 months ago
unit 19
I don't care for that twilight lamp, but that envelope interests me.
1 Translations, 0 Upvotes, Last Activity 1 year, 5 months ago
unit 20
What do they usually put in there?"
1 Translations, 0 Upvotes, Last Activity 1 year, 5 months ago
unit 21
I did not know.
1 Translations, 0 Upvotes, Last Activity 1 year, 5 months ago
unit 22
"What did you actually come for?"
1 Translations, 0 Upvotes, Last Activity 1 year, 5 months ago
unit 23
asked the little man grudgingly, "are you offering something?"
1 Translations, 0 Upvotes, Last Activity 1 year, 5 months ago
unit 24
"I'm coming to ask something," I said, "first of all, how did you grow so old?"
1 Translations, 0 Upvotes, Last Activity 1 year, 5 months ago
unit 26
When I was seventy, I was seventy, and when I turned eighty, I was eighty.
1 Translations, 0 Upvotes, Last Activity 1 year, 5 months ago
unit 27
And so it continued till one hundred.” "Do you do anything for it?
2 Translations, 0 Upvotes, Last Activity 1 year, 5 months ago
unit 28
"No, I don't do anything for it, it happens by itself.
1 Translations, 0 Upvotes, Last Activity 1 year, 5 months ago
unit 29
That's the fun of this kind of work."
1 Translations, 0 Upvotes, Last Activity 1 year, 5 months ago
unit 30
"Did you know that you would get there?
1 Translations, 0 Upvotes, Last Activity 1 year, 5 months ago
unit 31
"At first not, but later I began to realize it.
1 Translations, 0 Upvotes, Last Activity 1 year, 5 months ago
unit 33
Persevere, I thought, teeth clenched.
0 Translations, 0 Upvotes, Last Activity None
unit 34
And yes, I got there."
0 Translations, 0 Upvotes, Last Activity None
unit 35
"To what do you attribute it.?"
0 Translations, 0 Upvotes, Last Activity None
unit 36
"It's a matter of patience.
0 Translations, 0 Upvotes, Last Activity None
unit 38
"When did you actually started to become aware of it?"
0 Translations, 0 Upvotes, Last Activity None
unit 39
"That cannot be said precisely.
0 Translations, 0 Upvotes, Last Activity None
unit 42
But then, slowly, I started to come forward.
0 Translations, 0 Upvotes, Last Activity None
unit 44
"Do you have competition?"
0 Translations, 0 Upvotes, Last Activity None
unit 46
As one of them has a birthday, I send him a card, with my age on it.
0 Translations, 0 Upvotes, Last Activity None
unit 47
They'll give up, eventually."
0 Translations, 0 Upvotes, Last Activity None
unit 48
"Do you enjoy your work?"
0 Translations, 0 Upvotes, Last Activity None
unit 49
"Oh yes.
0 Translations, 0 Upvotes, Last Activity None
unit 51
unit 52
That breaks them in due course."
0 Translations, 0 Upvotes, Last Activity None
unit 53
"But you have the same feeling about those that are ahead of you?"
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unit 54
"Sure.
0 Translations, 0 Upvotes, Last Activity None
unit 55
But there are only three.
0 Translations, 0 Upvotes, Last Activity None
unit 56
I cannot catch them; but I can wait.
0 Translations, 0 Upvotes, Last Activity None
unit 57
And in the meantime, I keep an eye on them.
0 Translations, 0 Upvotes, Last Activity None
unit 58
The widow Boltjens in Schiedam is 102.
0 Translations, 0 Upvotes, Last Activity None
unit 59
Good.
0 Translations, 0 Upvotes, Last Activity None
unit 60
But yesterday she started to cough.
0 Translations, 0 Upvotes, Last Activity None
unit 61
Then you have former Zouave Serremans from Bolsward.
0 Translations, 0 Upvotes, Last Activity None
unit 62
A tough cookie.
0 Translations, 0 Upvotes, Last Activity None
unit 63
But he lives on the north side, on a corner.
0 Translations, 0 Upvotes, Last Activity None
unit 64
Then there is Van Loggem from Venlo with that wooden leg.
0 Translations, 0 Upvotes, Last Activity None
unit 67
"What will you do when you have reached the top?"
0 Translations, 0 Upvotes, Last Activity None
unit 68
"Then I'll quit.
0 Translations, 0 Upvotes, Last Activity None
unit 70
unit 71
Translated from the Dutch.
0 Translations, 0 Upvotes, Last Activity None
Siri • 7198  translated  unit 16  1 year, 5 months ago
Siri • 7198  translated  unit 14  1 year, 5 months ago

The 100-year old.

By Godfried Bomans.

Translated from Dutch.

"Is father home?", I asked the old man, who opened the door. He nodded, and led me into a room where there was a still older man, who was almost dead. In a hurry, I ripped an ear trumpet of the wall and shouted in his ear: "Congratulations!"

"You're mistaken," said the old man with a muffled voice, "Dad is upstairs."

"I flew up the stairs, because I understood that it was now a matter of seconds. There was the hundred-year-old hanging from the ropes: he was busy making a bird nest.

I almost crawled in his ear and yelled: "Congratulations!" The jubilarian shook his head, made a double somersault and jumped to the ground. "I'm not deaf," he said, putting on his coat, "I'm just old. What's going on?"

"Didn't you turn a hundred years old?!" I screamed. "Man, do not shout like that," said the geezer, pulling up the rings, "I am well aware of it. Tonight the mayor comes with a twilight lamp and an envelope with content. I don't care for that twilight lamp, but that envelope interests me. What do they usually put in there?" I did not know. "What did you actually come for?" asked the little man grudgingly, "are you offering something?"

"I'm coming to ask something," I said, "first of all, how did you grow so old?"

"It happened by itself," replied the jubilant, "Every year, you turn a year older, that is in the nature of things." When I was seventy, I was seventy, and when I turned eighty, I was eighty. And so it continued till one hundred.”

"Do you do anything for it?

"No, I don't do anything for it, it happens by itself. That's the fun of this kind of work."

"Did you know that you would get there?

"At first not, but later I began to realize it. "When I turned ninety, I began to check the obituaries in the newspapers; I struck up a friendship with the porter of the old men's
home, and so I could monitor the situation from up close. Persevere, I thought, teeth clenched. And yes, I got there."

"To what do you attribute it.?"

"It's a matter of patience. Persistence pays off, he who laughs last, laughs best, all's well that ends well, you need to look in that direction."

"When did you actually started to become aware of it?"

"That cannot be said precisely. When I turned seventy, I was still an insignificant little man, my time had yet to come. My eightieth birthday was actually a low point: nobody understood why I did not die, and - I did not want to reveal anything. But then, slowly, I started to come forward. At my ninetieth, people began to point me out, and by my ninety-fifth, the troubles were behind me."

"Do you have competition?"

"There are a few ninety-year olds living in the city, but I keep a close eye on them. As one of them has a birthday, I send him a card, with my age on it. They'll give up, eventually."

"Do you enjoy your work?"

"Oh yes. The nice thing about our job is, that once you are a year ahead, they are no longer able to catch up, even though the others work like hell. Every year someone ages, I'll gain one as well, and so they cannot catch up. That breaks them in due course."

"But you have the same feeling about those that are ahead of you?"

"Sure. But there are only three. I cannot catch them; but I can wait. And in the meantime, I keep an eye on them. The widow Boltjens in Schiedam is 102. Good. But yesterday she started to cough. Then you have former Zouave Serremans from Bolsward. A tough cookie. But he lives on the north side, on a corner. Then there is Van Loggem from Venlo with that wooden leg. He has a head start because that other leg, he doesn't have to pay any more attention to. But since last week he needs glasses for the small print, and glasses, we one hundred-year olds know between us, is the beginning of the end."

"What will you do when you have reached the top?"

"Then I'll quit. I have no interest in spoiling the market, the young people must also have a chance."

From: Godfried Bomans, Kopstukken ('De 100-jarige' - "The 100-year old").
Translated from the Dutch.