en-de  The Most Annoying, Pretentious And Useless Business Jargon Medium
Das lästigste, protzigste und nutzloseste Business-Jargon.

Von Max Mallet, Brett Nelson und Chris Steiner, Forbes, 26. Januar 2012.

Wenn Sie das nächste Mal das Bedürfnis verspüren, zu erreichen, die Basis berühren, ein Paradigma veränderen, eine Best Practice zu nutzen oder einem Tiger-Team bei zu treten, machen Sie es auf jeden Fall. Sagen Sie einfach nicht, dass Sie es machen.
Wenn Sie fragen müssen, warum, stehen Sie wahrscheinlich unter dem giftigen Bann des Geschäftsjargons. Nicht länger nur das Land der Berater, Investoren und Business-School-Typen, hat dieses nervige Kauderwelsch die Mannenschaft um den Globus hypnotisiert.

"Jargon verbirgt die wirkliche Bedeutung," sagt Jennifer Chatman, Management-Professorin der Haas School of Business an der University of California-Berkeley. "Leute verwenden ihn, statt ernsthaft und logisch über ihre Ziele und Orientierung, die Sie anderen geben wollen, nachzudenken." Um sich selbst davor zu bewahren, dass Sie so etwas tun (und um zu verhindern, dass Ihre Kollegen und Kunden Sie erwürgen), haben wir eine geheime Liste von Ausdrücken, die Sie geflissentlich vermeiden sollten, zusammengestellt.

Glossar: Der ärgerlichste Geschäftsjargon.

Hier sind einige der schlimmsten Übeltäter, die Forbes im Laufe der Jahre identifiziert hat.

Kernkompetenz.
Dieser schreckliche Ausdruck bezieht sich auf die elementare Stärke einer Firma oder Person - auch wenn das nicht die Bedeutung des Wortes "kompetent" trifft. "Das stört mich, weil es nur eine alberne Phrase ist, wenn man darüber nachdenkt", sagt Bruce Barry, Professor für Management an der Owen Graduate School of Business von Vanderbilt. "Sprechen die Leute über periphere Kompetenz? Kompetent zu sein, ist nicht der Standard, den wir suchen. Es ist wie Kernmittelmäßigkeit." Buy-In.
Dies bedeutet Zustimmung zu einer Vorgehensweise, wenn die unaufrichtigste Art. Stellt David Logan, Professor für Management und Organisation an der Marshall School of Business der University of Southern California fest: "Wenn jemand nach einem "Buy-in" fragt, sagt er: "Ich habe eine Idee. Ich habe Sie nicht mit einbezogen, weil ich Sie nicht genug wertgeschätzt habe, um es mit Ihnen zu besprechen. Ich möchte, dass Sie es so umarmen, als ob Sie von Anfang an dabei waren, denn das würde mich wirklich gut fühlen lassen." SWAT-Team.
Im Polizeivollzugsdienst bezieht sich dieser Begriff auf Teams fitter Männer und Frauen, die sich selbst in Gefahr bringen, um Menschen zu beschützen. In der Geschäftswelt bedeutet es, dass eine Gruppe von" Experten" (oft dicke Jungs in Anzügen) zusammenkommt, um ein Problem zu lösen oder eine Chance zu nutzen", sagt Logan von USC. Ein guter Vergleich, wenn Sie ein dicker Typ in einem Anzug sind.

Bevollmächtigen.
Dies ist, was jemand über Ihrer Gehaltsklasse tut, wenn sie anscheinend möchten, dass Sie eine Arbeit von einiger Wichtigkeit machen. Es wird auch "das herablassenste transitive Verb, das es je gab" genannt. Wie Chatman sagt: "Sie können hier einen kleinen Teil der Arbeit tun, aber ich habe hier immer noch das Sagen. Ich bevollmächtige Sie." Open the Kimono (Spuck die Information aus).
"Einige Leute verwenden diesen Begriff, anstatt "Informationen preisgeben," sagt Barry. "Es ist irgendwie unheimlich." Rücken Sie einfach keine Informationen heraus.

Bleeding Edge (auf dem allerneusten Stand).
Jemand hat beschlossen, dass sein Produkt oder sein Service so innovativ war, dass ein Begriff dafür geschaffen werden müsste. Es war nicht so. Es sei denn, Sie erfinden eine revolutionäre Klingenwaffe, lassen Sie diese in Ruhe.

Lots of Moving Parts (Viele bewegliche Teile).
Flipper haben viele bewegliche Teile. Viele von ihnen brummen und klirren und induzieren Migräne. Möchtest du, dass dein Geschäft läuft oder scheint sogar zu laufen wie ein Flipper? Dann sagen Sie nicht, dass es viele bewegliche Teile beinhaltet.

Unternehmenswerte
Dieser Ausdruck ist so verlogen, dass er einem den Magen umdreht. Unternehmen haben keine Werte, die Leute, die sie führen, haben sie.

Machen Sie Heu!
Das ist eine Ausdrucksweise, wenn man für eine kurze Zeit produktiv oder erfolgreich ist. Der Satz "to make hay" (Heu machen) ist die Kurzform von "make hay while the sun shines" (man muss das Eisen schmieden, solange es heiß ist) lässt sich auf John Heywoods The Proverbs, Epigrams and Miscellanies of John Heywood (ca. 1562) zurückführen. Ein handlicher Brocken für Cocktailgespräche, aber das ist es dann.

Anpassbar.
A scalable business or activity refers to one that requires little additional effort or cost for each additional unit of output. Beispiel: Software herzustellen ist eine skalierbare Angelegenheit (sie zu erstellen, erfordert zu Beginn viel Mühe, während die Verteilung von Millionen von Kopien über das Netz relativ einfach ist. Risikokapital-Anleger lechzen nach skalierbaren Geschäften. They crave them so much that the term now has become more annoying than the media’s obsession with celebrity diets.

Bessere Verfahren.
Das bezieht sich auf eine Methode oder ein Verfahren, das bessere Ergebnisse gegenüber anderen Methoden und Verfahren liefert. Es ist auch vielleicht die einzige schwülstigste Mischung, die sich die Beratungsbranche je ausgedacht hat.

¨Über den Tellerrand schauen.
Diese langweilige Redewendung bedeutet, ein Geschäftsproblem auf unkonventionelle Weise anzugehen. Hut ab für den Leser von Forbes.com, der verschlug: "Vergessen Sie den Teller. Denken Sie einfach". Lösung.
Die Bedeutung dieses Wortes hat sich erweitert, alles einzuschließen, von der traditioneller Methode, einen mathematischen Beweis zu lösen, bis hin zu einer Suite von Effizienzsteigerndersoftware – und es ist der Inbegriff von lingualer Faulheit. Sagt Glen Turpin, ein Kommunikationsberater: "Dieses Wort bezieht sich normalerweise auf eine Sammlung von Technologien, die zu abstrakt oder zu komplex sind, als dass man in einer Weise beschreiben könnte, dafür sich jemand interessieren würde, wenn man sie in einfachem Englisch erklärte". Leverage.
Treffen Sie den Großvater aller Nomen, die zu Verben wurden. "Leverage" (Druck ausüben; Einfluss nehmen) wird gnadenlos verwendet, um zu beschreiben, wie eine Situation oder ein Bereich manipuliert oder kontrolliert werden kann. Leverage should remain a noun, as in “to apply leverage,” not as a pseudo-verb, as in “we are leveraging our assets.” Vertical.
This painful expression refers to a specific area of expertise. For example, if you make project-management software for the manufacturing industry (as opposed to the retail industry), you might say, “We serve the manufacturing vertical.” In so saying, you would make everyone around you flee the conversation.

Over the Wall.
If you’re not wielding a grappling hook, avoid this meaningless expression. Katie Clark, an account executive at Allison & Partners, a San Francisco public relations firm, got a request from her boss to send a document “over the wall.” Did he want her to print out the document, make it into a paper airplane and send it whooshing across the office? Finally, she asked for clarification. “It apparently means to send something to the client,” she says. “Absurd!” Robust.
This otherwise harmless adjective has come to suggest a product or service with a virtually endless capacity to please. A cup of good coffee is robust. A software program is not.

Learnings.
Like most educated people, Michael Travis, an executive search consultant, knows how to conjugate a verb. That’s why he cringes when his colleagues use the word “learning” as a noun. As in: “I had a critical learning from that project,” or “We documented the team’s learnings.” Whatever happened to simply saying: “I learned a lesson from that project?” Says Travis: “Aspiring managers would do well to remember that if you can’t express your idea without buzzwords, there may not be an idea there at all.” Boil the Ocean.
This means to waste time. The thinking here, we suppose, is that boiling the ocean would take a long time. It would also take a long time to fly to Jupiter, but we don’t say that. Nor should we boil oceans, even the Arctic, which is the smallest. It would be a waste of time.

Reach Out.
Jargon for “let’s set up a meeting” or “let’s contact this person.” Just say that—and unless you want the Human Relations department breathing down your neck, please don’t reach out unless clearly invited.

Punt.
In football, to punt means to willingly (if regretfully) kick the ball to the other team to control your team’s position on the field. In business it means to give up on an idea, or to make it less of a priority at the moment. In language as in life, punt too often and you’ll never score.

Impact.
This wannabe verb came to prominence, says Bryan Garner, editor in chief of Black’s Law Dictionary, because most people don’t understand the difference between the words “affect” and “effect.” Rather than risk mixing them up, they say, “We will impact our competitor’s sales with this new product.” A tip: “Affect” is most commonly a verb, “effect” a noun. For instance: When you affect my thinking, you may have an effect on my actions.

Giving 110%.
The nice thing about effort, in terms of measuring it, is that the most you can give is everything—and everything equals 100%. You can’t give more than that, unless you can make two or more of yourself on the spot, in which case you have a very interesting talent indeed. To tell someone to give more than 100% is to also tell them that you failed second-grade math.

Take It To The Next Level.
In theory this means to make something better. In practice, it means nothing, mainly because nobody knows what the next level actually looks like and thus whether or not they’ve reached it.

It Is What It Is.
Thanks. Idiot.

https://www.forbes.com/sites/groupthink/2012/01/26/the-most-annoying-pretentious-and-useless-business-jargon/amp/
unit 1
The Most Annoying, Pretentious And Useless Business Jargon.
1 Translations, 1 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 months ago
unit 2
By Max Mallet, Brett Nelson and Chris Steiner, Forbes, January 26, 2012.
1 Translations, 4 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 months ago
unit 4
Just don’t say you’re doing it.
1 Translations, 0 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 months ago
unit 9
Glossary: The Most Annoying Business Jargon.
1 Translations, 2 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 months ago
unit 10
Here are some of the worst offenders Forbes has identified over the years.
1 Translations, 3 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 months ago
unit 11
Core Competency.
1 Translations, 3 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 months ago
unit 14
“Do people talk about peripheral competency?
1 Translations, 4 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 months ago
unit 15
Being competent is not the standard we’re seeking.
1 Translations, 1 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 months ago
unit 16
It’s like core mediocrity.” Buy-In.
1 Translations, 0 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 months ago
unit 17
This means agreement on a course of action, if the most disingenuous kind.
1 Translations, 0 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 months ago
unit 19
I didn’t involve you because I didn’t value you enough to discuss it with you.
1 Translations, 3 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 months ago
unit 23
An apt comparison, if you’re a fat guy in a suit.
1 Translations, 2 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 months ago
unit 24
Empower.
1 Translations, 0 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 months ago
unit 27
I am empowering you.’” Open the Kimono.
1 Translations, 2 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 months ago
unit 28
“Some people use this instead of ‘revealing information,’” says Barry.
1 Translations, 2 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 months ago
unit 29
“It’s kind of creepy.” Just keep your kimono snugly fastened.
1 Translations, 2 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 months ago
unit 30
Bleeding Edge.
1 Translations, 3 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 months ago
unit 32
It did not.
1 Translations, 2 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 months ago
unit 33
Unless you are inventing a revolutionary bladed weapon, leave this one alone.
1 Translations, 0 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 months ago
unit 34
Lots of Moving Parts.
1 Translations, 3 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 months ago
unit 35
Pinball machines have lots of moving parts.
1 Translations, 3 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 months ago
unit 36
Many of them buzz and clank and induce migraine headaches.
1 Translations, 2 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 months ago
unit 37
Do you want your business to run, or even appear to run, like a pinball machine?
1 Translations, 0 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 months ago
unit 38
Then do not say it involves lots of moving parts.
1 Translations, 2 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 months ago
unit 39
Corporate Values.
1 Translations, 3 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 months ago
unit 40
This expression is so phony it churns the stomach.
3 Translations, 1 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 months ago
unit 41
Corporations don’t have values, the people who run them do.
1 Translations, 2 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 months ago
unit 42
Make Hay.
1 Translations, 2 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 months ago
unit 43
This is jargon for being productive or successful in a short period of time.
1 Translations, 0 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 months ago
unit 45
A handy nugget for cocktail conversation, but that’s it.
1 Translations, 0 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 months ago
unit 46
Scalable.
1 Translations, 0 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 months ago
unit 49
Venture capitalists crave scalable businesses.
1 Translations, 0 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 months ago
unit 51
Best Practice.
1 Translations, 0 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 months ago
unit 54
Think Outside the Box.
1 Translations, 2 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 months ago
unit 56
unit 59
Meet the granddaddy of nouns converted to verbs.
1 Translations, 0 Upvotes, Last Activity 6 months ago
unit 62
This painful expression refers to a specific area of expertise.
0 Translations, 0 Upvotes, Last Activity None
unit 64
Over the Wall.
0 Translations, 0 Upvotes, Last Activity None
unit 67
Finally, she asked for clarification.
0 Translations, 0 Upvotes, Last Activity None
unit 68
“It apparently means to send something to the client,” she says.
0 Translations, 0 Upvotes, Last Activity None
unit 69
“Absurd!” Robust.
0 Translations, 0 Upvotes, Last Activity None
unit 71
A cup of good coffee is robust.
0 Translations, 0 Upvotes, Last Activity None
unit 72
A software program is not.
0 Translations, 0 Upvotes, Last Activity None
unit 73
Learnings.
0 Translations, 0 Upvotes, Last Activity None
unit 77
This means to waste time.
0 Translations, 0 Upvotes, Last Activity None
unit 79
unit 80
Nor should we boil oceans, even the Arctic, which is the smallest.
0 Translations, 0 Upvotes, Last Activity None
unit 81
It would be a waste of time.
0 Translations, 0 Upvotes, Last Activity None
unit 82
Reach Out.
0 Translations, 0 Upvotes, Last Activity None
unit 84
Punt.
0 Translations, 0 Upvotes, Last Activity None
unit 87
In language as in life, punt too often and you’ll never score.
0 Translations, 0 Upvotes, Last Activity None
unit 88
Impact.
0 Translations, 0 Upvotes, Last Activity None
unit 91
Giving 110%.
0 Translations, 0 Upvotes, Last Activity None
unit 95
Take It To The Next Level.
0 Translations, 0 Upvotes, Last Activity None
unit 96
In theory this means to make something better.
0 Translations, 0 Upvotes, Last Activity None
unit 98
It Is What It Is.
0 Translations, 0 Upvotes, Last Activity None
unit 99
Thanks.
0 Translations, 0 Upvotes, Last Activity None
unit 100
Idiot.
0 Translations, 0 Upvotes, Last Activity None

The Most Annoying, Pretentious And Useless Business Jargon.

By Max Mallet, Brett Nelson and Chris Steiner, Forbes, January 26, 2012.

The next time you feel the need to reach out, touch base, shift a paradigm, leverage a best practice or join a tiger team, by all means do it. Just don’t say you’re doing it.
If you have to ask why, chances are you’ve fallen under the poisonous spell of business jargon. No longer solely the province of consultants, investors and business-school types, this annoying gobbledygook has mesmerized the rank and file around the globe.

“Jargon masks real meaning,” says Jennifer Chatman, management professor at the University of California-Berkeley’s Haas School of Business. “People use it as a substitute for thinking hard and clearly about their goals and the direction that they want to give others.”

To save you from yourself (and to keep your colleagues and customers from strangling you), we have assembled a cache of expressions to assiduously avoid.

Glossary: The Most Annoying Business Jargon.

Here are some of the worst offenders Forbes has identified over the years.

Core Competency.
This awful expression refers to a firm’s or a person’s fundamental strength—even though that’s not what the word “competent” means. “This bothers me because it is just a silly phrase when you think about it,” says Bruce Barry, professor of management at Vanderbilt’s Owen Graduate School of Business. “Do people talk about peripheral competency? Being competent is not the standard we’re seeking. It’s like core mediocrity.”

Buy-In.
This means agreement on a course of action, if the most disingenuous kind. Notes David Logan, professor of management and organization at the University of Southern California’s Marshall School of Business: “Asking for someone’s ‘buy-in’ says, ‘I have an idea. I didn’t involve you because I didn’t value you enough to discuss it with you. I want you to embrace it as if you were in on it from the beginning, because that would make me feel really good.’”

SWAT Team.
In law enforcement, this term refers to teams of fit men and women who put themselves in danger to keep people safe. “In business, it means a group of ‘experts’ (often fat guys in suits) assembled to solve a problem or tackle an opportunity” says USC’s Logan. An apt comparison, if you’re a fat guy in a suit.

Empower.
This is what someone above your pay grade does when, apparently, they would like you to do a job of some importance. It’s also called “the most condescending transitive verb ever.” Says Chatman: “It suggests that ‘You can do a little bit of this, but I’m still in charge here. I am empowering you.’”

Open the Kimono.
“Some people use this instead of ‘revealing information,’” says Barry. “It’s kind of creepy.” Just keep your kimono snugly fastened.

Bleeding Edge.
Someone decided that his product or service was so cutting-edge that a new term needed to be created. It did not. Unless you are inventing a revolutionary bladed weapon, leave this one alone.

Lots of Moving Parts.
Pinball machines have lots of moving parts. Many of them buzz and clank and induce migraine headaches. Do you want your business to run, or even appear to run, like a pinball machine? Then do not say it involves lots of moving parts.

Corporate Values.
This expression is so phony it churns the stomach. Corporations don’t have values, the people who run them do.

Make Hay.
This is jargon for being productive or successful in a short period of time. The phrase ‘to make hay’ is short for ‘make hay while the sun shines’, which can be traced to John Heyward’s The Proverbs, Epigrams and Miscellanies of John Heywood (circa 1562). A handy nugget for cocktail conversation, but that’s it.

Scalable.
A scalable business or activity refers to one that requires little additional effort or cost for each additional unit of output. Example: Making software is a scalable business (building it requires lots of effort up front, while distributing a million copies over the Web is relatively painless). Venture capitalists crave scalable businesses. They crave them so much that the term now has become more annoying than the media’s obsession with celebrity diets.

Best Practice.
This refers to a method or technique that delivers superior results compared with other methods and techniques. It is also perhaps the single most pompous confection the consulting industry has ever dreamed up.

Think Outside the Box.
This tired turn of phrase means to approach a business problem in an unconventional fashion. Kudos to a Forbes.com reader who suggested: “Forget the box, just think.”

Solution.
This word has come to mean everything from the traditional way to solve a mathematical proof to a suite of efficiency-enhancing software–and it is the epitome of lingual laziness. Says Glen Turpin, a communications consultant: “It usually refers to a collection of technologies too abstract or complex to describe in a way that anyone would care about if they were explained in plain English.”

Leverage.
Meet the granddaddy of nouns converted to verbs. ‘Leverage’ is mercilessly used to describe how a situation or environment can be manipulated or controlled. Leverage should remain a noun, as in “to apply leverage,” not as a pseudo-verb, as in “we are leveraging our assets.”

Vertical.
This painful expression refers to a specific area of expertise. For example, if you make project-management software for the manufacturing industry (as opposed to the retail industry), you might say, “We serve the manufacturing vertical.” In so saying, you would make everyone around you flee the conversation.

Over the Wall.
If you’re not wielding a grappling hook, avoid this meaningless expression. Katie Clark, an account executive at Allison & Partners, a San Francisco public relations firm, got a request from her boss to send a document “over the wall.” Did he want her to print out the document, make it into a paper airplane and send it whooshing across the office? Finally, she asked for clarification. “It apparently means to send something to the client,” she says. “Absurd!”

Robust.
This otherwise harmless adjective has come to suggest a product or service with a virtually endless capacity to please. A cup of good coffee is robust. A software program is not.

Learnings.
Like most educated people, Michael Travis, an executive search consultant, knows how to conjugate a verb. That’s why he cringes when his colleagues use the word “learning” as a noun. As in: “I had a critical learning from that project,” or “We documented the team’s learnings.” Whatever happened to simply saying: “I learned a lesson from that project?” Says Travis: “Aspiring managers would do well to remember that if you can’t express your idea without buzzwords, there may not be an idea there at all.”

Boil the Ocean.
This means to waste time. The thinking here, we suppose, is that boiling the ocean would take a long time. It would also take a long time to fly to Jupiter, but we don’t say that. Nor should we boil oceans, even the Arctic, which is the smallest. It would be a waste of time.

Reach Out.
Jargon for “let’s set up a meeting” or “let’s contact this person.” Just say that—and unless you want the Human Relations department breathing down your neck, please don’t reach out unless clearly invited.

Punt.
In football, to punt means to willingly (if regretfully) kick the ball to the other team to control your team’s position on the field. In business it means to give up on an idea, or to make it less of a priority at the moment. In language as in life, punt too often and you’ll never score.

Impact.
This wannabe verb came to prominence, says Bryan Garner, editor in chief of Black’s Law Dictionary, because most people don’t understand the difference between the words “affect” and “effect.” Rather than risk mixing them up, they say, “We will impact our competitor’s sales with this new product.” A tip: “Affect” is most commonly a verb, “effect” a noun. For instance: When you affect my thinking, you may have an effect on my actions.

Giving 110%.
The nice thing about effort, in terms of measuring it, is that the most you can give is everything—and everything equals 100%. You can’t give more than that, unless you can make two or more of yourself on the spot, in which case you have a very interesting talent indeed. To tell someone to give more than 100% is to also tell them that you failed second-grade math.

Take It To The Next Level.
In theory this means to make something better. In practice, it means nothing, mainly because nobody knows what the next level actually looks like and thus whether or not they’ve reached it.

It Is What It Is.
Thanks. Idiot.

https://www.forbes.com/sites/groupthink/2012/01/26/the-most-annoying-pretentious-and-useless-business-jargon/amp/